I applied for SSD online.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Quequay, Jan 6, 2003.

  1. Quequay

    Quequay New Member

    I listened to your posts and yes I paid into SS so your right I do deserve what I paid for so I spent the last couple hours applying online. I am going to try myself to see if I get it, if not I will find a lawyer.

    To answer some of your questions to me....Hi Vicque it is nice to hear from you. Thank you for understanding. Its wonderful that you are writing a book. You asked to hear the 5 things I've lost since I been diagnosed. I am afraid they are depressing but I guess you get depressed when you lose things.

    1. This is the biggest thing I lost. It was my fault cause this stupid illness makes you so scatter brained. When I lost my cat Daffney I lost a spirit that helped me get through. She suffered from an illness and she woulddn't let it slow her down. She would come bouncing over to me when I was in such pain and flop down making me laugh or she would like my arm or lay on my chest to help the pain. Her death was caused by a wrong decision on my part. It was such a horrible way to go and I beg her to forgive me. I will regret that day for the rest of my life and curse this illness foever.

    2. Losing the plans for the future. Not being able to plan a family to even consider it because I would not trust myself to make desicions.

    3. My days of high energy and fun activities. No more aerobics or playing sports. No day trips to parks or hiking.

    4. The lose of independance. I am not used to asking for help and often I try to do things I shouldn't and then regret when I am in more pain.

    5. The loss of being touched or having a hug. It is so sad to pull away so you don't feel pain when someone wants to hug you.

    Now I have to stop crying. It hurts to relize what you have lost and what damage you can cause with this illness. There is nothing to look forward to when you suffer from this.

    Boy you think you have cried all you can but it never stops.

    I wish you luck Vicque on your book and your big move. I hope all goes smoothly for you and I appreciate your interest in my thoughts as well.

    I got another question asking me to try taking hot baths. I would love to but my house only has the hadicaped shower. My husband and I are trying to save up for a whirlpool tub that will accomadate my size. I am very tall and don't fit in normal size tubs. I was almost there then I had a tooth infection and I have no dental insurance so it took everything. I am trying saving again. Our shower is downstairs (old house) and my husband has gutted a room upstairs for a bathroom for the tub and so I don't have to keep going downstairs during the night. My biggest fanticy is soaking in a hot tub with the soft jets soothing my aches and being able to stay in there for hours. Hopefully someday.

    Thank you for your posts, I enjoy reading them and they make me feel that I am part of a community instead of feeling so alone.