I can't do this anymore...someone please help.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by brella, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. brella

    brella New Member

    I used to post on this message board several years ago and then I stopped for some time. I had a brief period where my fibromyalgia wasn't AS bad but its back to being bad...worse than ever and I simply do not know what to do. I cannot handle it anymore....

    I'm 23 years old and I've had fibromyalgia probably since I was 17 or 18. I got hit by a car while riding a bike when I was 16 years old and it started with severe lower back pain. That lower back pain has continued this entire time but then other symptoms started. The biggest problem of course is the widespread pain everywhere. I literally have pain in every muscle and joint in my body.

    I graduated in May 2008 with a B.S. degree in Biology. I realized after I graduated that I wanted to become a nurse. On my path to become a nurse, I started working as a nursing assistant 3 months ago. The stress of standing and walking around for 8 hours has caused me to have a continual flare-up. After working 5 days a week, my days off have to be spent doing nothing. I can't exercise without having increased pain. I can't go shopping or walk around more than 2 hours without increased pain. My job right now is the main problem. I don't have to do too much bending or lifting but just the mere walking and standing all shift is way too much for my body to handle. I asked my boss if I could go down to 4 days a week and she will start me on that next week. However, today I had to call in sick to work because I'm in so much pain I couldn't have imagined working for 8 hours. I've also been sick with a cold or the flu very often lately which makes my pain so much worse. Working as a nurse now? ha ha ha...if I can't even stand for 8 hours, being a nurse where I work 12 hour shifts would never be a possibility.

    I've been under the care of a chiropractor for about a month and a half now. She told me that she has successfully treated people with fibromyalgia to the point where they no longer have symptoms. She does oxygen-based brain therapy, one-sided adjustments and dietary supplements. So far I haven't found any relief. I'm not going to give up yet but it's just extremely hard for me because I feel like I've actually been worse the past week or so. I can't do normal life activities and holding down a normal job might be out of the picture soon too. However, I can't quit my job because I have bills but everyday I just want to quit so badly. Some days I hope that I brake my leg or something so I have a very obvious reason why I can't work. One of the most frustrating parts is that there is not something visibly wrong with me that people can see. Half the time I don't know if people actually believe me when I say I'm suffering from fibromyalgia.

    I need some relief. I'm laying here, crying. I took a sick day because I can barley even hold myself up standing today. Why me? Why can't this go away? Someone, anyone help me please. Anything to take away some of the physical pain...
  2. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I first do want to say that it good that you were able to earn your degree.

    Have you tried any pain meds? They have been a huge help to me~ now I still
    have lots of bad days with pain but the meds make it at least somewhat easier
    for me to cope.

    I too tried a chiropractor. At the time I was seeing him for lower back pain and
    my migraines. And he said he'd been able to help people with those things.

    But after 2 months of treatments my back was better but my headaches weren't
    and for some reason the treatments hurt when he did them and for me that
    was a red flag and I stopped.

    I would say to try different things because we are all different. That
    said the biggest thing that helps me consistently is to rest frequently
    during the day even if my body doesn't ask me to. Otherwise the fibro
    flare ups are way past awful even with the meds.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is listen to your body ~it's talking to you. smile

    I would also try some pain meds and find something that works for you that you are
    comfortable with.

    Let us know how you are. I hope this makes sense.
    Very gentle hugs for you, Pansy (Susan)

    PITATOO Member

    I just got a huge promotion and am afraid I won't be able to handle it. I had my own computer consulting business for 20 years then the economy took a dive. I had to find something after not have a contract for 6 months. I had to move to a new state, by myself, leave my kids in Michigan, I'm divorced, it's tough. I took the job because it was going to be just a programming job where I could just take specifications and write code sitting at a desk and even work at home. Well they know that I could do a lot more and I will soon bee the Global IT Development Manager and I go to Mexico in Sept. for 3 weeks to start training people and taking over as their boss. The politics of the company is just killing me. I called in sick today becuase I just can't take much more stress. I am sicker today but I am always sick. You would think after sleeping 12 hours you would feel better but I just hurt everywhere. I am a 46 yo male who has had FMS and CFIDS since 1994. It does get better but I don't know if I want the promotion. I make good money without the promotion. But I feel I don't have a choice. After all that I was just trying to say that I think we all feel the same at some time.

    Is there any way you could get a job where you don't have to stand or walk so much? I too work all week and come home and collapse. I have no life outside of work because I am in so much pain and so eshausted. But then I think about disability. Could I handle the stress of trying to get it. I could ruin my career if I did not get it; my opinion. Plus what would I do. Even when I was in between contracts I did not feel much better. I did spend 2 months in Houma LA at my sisters and had a great relaxing time and the weather was great there in Dec/Jan. But I got so bored, plus not knowing I did not have another contract or new job coming up created more stress. I had saved enough money to go another 1 1/2 years without working. But now that I took the new job out of state I bought a second home and had to use all my reserves to do that. So now it would be hard to start my business up again without a cushion. I am at a cross roads. Plus the stree of basically being a single parent even though my kids are all over 18 I am their only emotional support, my ex left me 7 years ago and I got custody.

    Anyways I guess I am venting also. I do see a therapist/counselor once a week and that helps somewhat. Chriropractic does help with the neck pain but that is all. I am looking for a good massage thereapist where I now live. That was a real help. I am also a Buddhist but there is no temple/group where I can meet and meditate with others that is close to where I live, everything is 1 1/2 hours away and on the weekends I don't have the energy to drive that far. Maybe going to Mexico for almost a month will help, I hear it is dry there but hot, I'll have the weekends to spend time in the sun and pool. The sun always helps with my leg pain, I go to tanning beds in the winter, helps with RLS and general overall health, I look better so I feel better also, I don't stay in long just 5-8 minutes at a time. Just enoughto get a little color. But I am a little afraid of the swine flu in Mexico and the Violence of the cartels. But I will have a driver and staying at a nice hotel that is guarded and so is the plant where I will be doing the training. I just hope it is not too hot. That drains me.

    So you are not alone, hang in there, maybe check into a different type job? Good luck
  4. NIELK

    NIELK Member

    I don't have any great solutions for you only empathy. I really feel your pain!! Have you seen a doctor who deals with fibromyalgia? or a doctor who deals with chronic pain? They might be able to give you something to ease your pain while you are getting the adjustments. Sometimes it helps just knowing that there are people out there who totally understand what you are going through. I do an wish your pain away.
  5. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    I didn't find chiropractors any good, in fact they caused my FM symptoms to flare up but I have found significant relief from massage therapy.

    You may also want to consider pain meds.

    Hugs, Bunchy x
  6. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    A thought and insight for you. Many in my family are in the medical field,wide open field with many medical employment options. i have learned this from them.. Agency's seem to pay much more income compared to example: one working at hospital for the hospital. Hope this makes sense, not easy for me putting in words, at this time. With agency work you decide on 3 days a week 4 days or whatever. You are in charge of how much you want to work and the pay is very much higher. You may already know what i'm speaking of, so you have made a very good decision with medical field, so many options of positions available to choose from.

    Congratulations with graduating in May. Search all the options, many that may fit what you can tolerate with your health.

    Wish you well
  7. gb66

    gb66 Well-Known Member

    Have you thought about doing medical transcription at home? There is still a demand for that in some areas. My daughter was a nursing assistant for 25 years but her back was giving her so much pain she had to switch to a sit down job. She stayed at the same hospital but became a unit secretary. Now she works for an ortho. group for one of the doctors.

    If you work at home, you can adjust your hours to get the rest you need. Being off your feet will really help. I attended college part-time for 7 years when I first became ill with CFS/FM and then tried to work full time but had to finally quit. My back hurt horribly. I worked in medical records for a little while but finally stopped working in 1990 after being ill for about 12 years.

    I know how you feel and hope you can get some pain relief and find a less physically stressful job. GB66
    [This Message was Edited on 08/30/2009]
    [This Message was Edited on 08/30/2009]
  8. skeptik2

    skeptik2 Member

    You have a rough road to follow, trying to work in your condition. I would highly suggest that you go to your state's rehab division and tell them your problem. They may have great ideas for you. I know my state does, and it is one of the worst states in the nation for helping the disabled.

    I also suggest you make sure the reasons for missing work are clearly documented, in case you apply for disability; however, you may not have enough credit time to qualify; call 1-800-772-1213 and discuss it with them. If you find you don't qualify because you haven't worked long enough yet, rehab is a real option, or SSI could help you support yourself while going to your rehab division for advice.

    You really need a good doctor; a rheumatologist or internal med who could get you on some med(s) for your terrible pain. They may allow you to function until you have enough credit hours/whatever they are called, to be eligible for disability.

    The suggestion to work for an agency is a great one; there may be hours you are feeling better during each day (I know I have them for some crazy reason), and you could tailor your work hours accordingly.

    Today I visited a new website called something like teenfm dot blog dot com (or org). Try to find it online, even though you are no longer a teen. They mention a book there, about new finding of FM in research; it sounds really good and highly acclaimed. The doctor/researcher says they have found the reason for the FM pain, so maybe there are some answers there for you.

    Don't give up...get busy: find people who will help you build a safe and secure future. You are not alone, and we will all hold you up and together, if in tatters, so don't fear the future. Take ahold of it with all your might, your will, and whatever spiritual strength you can find in yourself.

    Hang on, as you find your way towards a healthier future, you will learn so much and be stronger with each passing day. Try to distract your mind from the pain for now, if only by making a list of things to do towards that future, one thing at a time, ok? Take it easy, eat as well as you can, and rest every minute possible. Try epsom salt baths each evening, and look on this site for FM products; they are tried and true and people here have had very good results with some of them for FM.

    A big soft hug to you....