I can't say No to anyone, I went baby shopping with daughter

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Apr 21, 2007.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    OK I really did it this time. I had gone to my Mom's to pack her arm as it is still infected .
    She tried the VAC assisted wooound care system but was having a reaction to the drape { it is sticky like the IV tape htey have on to hold your IV In} So they took it off and repacked it. SO am I back to packing it every day. But it is getting some better , the wound is closing more andmore so hopefully I will not have to do this much longer.

    After I packed adn bandaged my Mom's arm my oldest daughter who is expecting her first baby in August asked me to go shopping with her.

    I Love her to peices but she drives me nuts some times. I make hooded baby bath towels for baby gifts . I pick the colors by the gender of the baby Blue for boys and pink for girls.

    But she does not like that and wants to pick the color she self. OK as long it is a towel that is in my price range. She found some really spendy towels that have really cute things on them like a fuxxy lion with a mane hanging down, a while towel iwth a yellow duck on it's side and on the top of the hand towel. Even a frog was there.

    But there is no way I can afford to buy these towels as they are over $8.00 per towel and the hand towel is $5.00. This may not sound like much but when you have to make more than one of them it gets spendy. I use a full bath towel and one half of a hand towel.

    AFter I take a tuck in the 1/2 of the hand towel I usually put some fabric on it to cover the fold line up and to make it look cuter. Or for girls I use lace that is really pretty.

    I just made two of the pink towels as my daughter { youngest one } has had a baby girl and my friends daguther is expecting a baby girl so since it only takes 1/2 of the hand towel and two bath towels to make them they are not so spendy. I can make them up in about 1 hour barring any back pain.

    My oldest is having some problems as she is not the first to bring us grandbabies my youngest did that 2 years ago. She now has a boy who is 2 and a baby girl who is 3 months old. So the oldest feels that her dad and I should do the same things for her as we did for the youngest daughter.

    When the youngest one was expecting her first baby she was due in March and for christmas we gave her & her hubby a crib for their christmas gift and later the matteress.

    But this oldest is due in August and we found out she was expecting the day after christmas but she was having problems and thought that she was miscarring the baby. Thankfully she did n't and both are healthy now. MY husband is the one who goes nuts and buys toys for his 2 yr old grandson.
    NOw the oldest thinks that sicne the toys are at my house that her sister is going to get all pissed of when in 2 years her baby is playing with the older ones toys from grandpa.

    By that time he will be four yrs old and will not fit in the baby swing or want to play with the baby toys we have here. And our grandaughter will want to play with little girl toys as well as the boy toys . So they may fight over them. But it is not a big deal to me.

    I wish that we had the money to buy her a crib and matteress but we don't and they don't have any place for it as they are living with my 79 yr old mother. So they don't have room in the basement for a crib adn changing table as well as all the toys.

    I am just hoping that they soon reliese that they need to find there own house/ apartment as MOM is not going to live forever{ NOt that she is sick right now}

    But because of her age she is not going to be around for a really long time. The house she lives in has a reverse morgeage {SP} on it so we will have to pay back the money she has used by selling the house so my daughter won't be able to live in it.

    She will not be able to buy it as it she will have to pay fair market value not just get it for free or a small amount. They both have lots of growing up to do and have to leard how to use and spend their money wisely and buy their own home asap.

    To day she wanted to look at baby clothes so we went shopping for them bad idea as even though I was riding in a cart my back was throbbing and aching all the time.

    MY knees were throbbing and burning so it was not so much fun for me. I found a out fit for her baby and she really liked it but I could hear in my mind " Is that all I get? You bought J more stuff for her babies so get to picken out some more clothes."

    I could be imangeing all this but I have heard her say more than once that her dad is not going to buy her the same amont of things as he did for her sister. So she is feeling left out and thinks her dad does not care about her baby boy.

    HE didn't get all excited with the youngest till she had the baby and then he went nuts.But all the toys he has bought for the youngest little boy have been from thrift shops and have peices missing from each set he has bought but the little grandson loves them and it does not matter to him that his train is missing parts to it.

    May be I should put a bug in his ear as all the toys he has bought for our grandson are LOUD NOSIEY TOYS that drive me NUTS>.
    My newest SIL thinks that he has to play wiht them as well and push all the buttons so that the toys are making more noise than I can cope with and I get mad and take them away from him and HIDE them. so if she wants the toys she can have them all noise as well. I don't want it any more.

    I am so tired of shopping and walking around , takeing car of my MOM and putting up with my daughter and all the things she wants for this baby. IT is like NO one has ever had a baby before and she is in for a big surprise when she has the baby. I am not going to baby sit unless I want to.

    Her hubby only works weekend nights and monday night till 10 pm.So they can find some one to help for the few hours they will need for him to get some sleep. I would not mind baby sitting but I was not asked but told that I was tending the baby.

    MY hubby thinks now that I am on disabiltiy that I should be able to do what I want and not baby sit as it will cause me to have more pain and hurting worse.

    HE does not want to "BAby proof the house either. He thinks I should not baby sit unless I want to do it adn then I should get paid for it. so between the e two of them I am going NUTS fast.
    Soon I will be so stressed out because of all the people who want me to do all the things they think I want to do.

    IF that makes any scense to you? I just want to have a healthy grandbaby I don't care if it is a boy or a girl so long as it is healthy and growning normally. That is what I want.

    I may have to tell ehr what my MOm told me when i said I was expecting. "Quote" { I have raised my kids , so you now raise your kids. I will baby sit when I want to so don't ask I will let you know when I want to baby sit for you.}
    I thought that she was harsh but it taught me to grow up and learn things for my self. It worked as I have had three girls and they are realy good girls.

    I have had to learn to pace my slef and the past few weeks I havve not been able to do that as I have been taking care of my mom.

    So I am in more pain than usual and more ssleepy but can't sleep from the added pain I have. I don't know what to do any mroe. I Know that I need to be fair and as equal as it can be.

    But I don't know what to do any more. I think I am losing my mind and my brain is melting & does not respond any more to my reauests to stop the pain.

    Please help me to know what I should I do for all of my daughters. I want to have a good relationships with my grandbabies. I just want them { daughters to all be happy adn healthy and have the same request for their babies.}

    I will stop gripping about this subject as it can get on your nerves. Thanks for letting me ven adn gripe about this.
  2. netnut

    netnut New Member

    Well I have one granddaughter and one on the way. I foresee a bit of jealousy because we will have to treat these two grandkids a bit different simply because the daddies relationships with us are different.

    The first grandchild is from my youngest son and he lives with us. Therefore we see that baby constantly. In fact, she has lived with us for periods of time. We have bought her many things. Some new, some used. I also get stuff from freecycle.

    My second grandchild is from my middle son. He lives 5 hours from me in a different state. We wont see that child very much. Probably 4 or 5 times a year if we are lucky. We are going to her baby shower in a few weeks and plan on buying a new item for her mom that we never bought for the first one. A bassinet type thing. Plus over the course of time I will probably send a few new outfits plus hand me downs from the first baby.

    Second baby's mom is none too thrilled with hand me downs...Oh well. LOL. My son is fine with them...again LOL. I figure the mom will come around when she gets a good look at the prices of baby clothes and the fact that babies cost a ton of money. The first one hasnt worn out the clothes, she outgrows them too fast. They are exactly one year apart too so the sizes are perfect. One born in June 06 and one due in July 07.
  3. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    no matter how fair you try to be syblings will always feel you aren't being fair.

    my mom told me the same I raised mine now you raise yours. I try to be the same with all my kids but sometimes you can't do it in their eyes. i get you always buy her what she wants why don't you do that for me. Well one daughter likes art and drawing so buying her what she wants is easy a pack of paper herE a pencil there not much cost.

    My other daughter wants rings jewlery well that gets expensive and I can't afford those thing so it does look like I always get the one daughter what she wants.

    Don't beet yourself up over your kids reivally they will grow up and relise what you have already learned. I looked back when I was in my 30 and said I wish I had listened to my parents when they said.... or now I know what they said when I was younger.

    They will get it but until they do don't jeapordize your health over it.

    you have very typical Girls and they are no different than other syblings.

    Take care of your self and I hope your mom heals soon.
  4. Engel

    Engel New Member

    Sorry you are having trouble saying no.

    (((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))
  5. wildflowers2

    wildflowers2 New Member

    you need to set Boundries.
    No, it not a bad word.

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