I can't take it anymore

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by risinforce, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    i'm just exhausted. This pain is so overwhelming and I just don't know what to do. I've made an appt w/my family doc for Monday but can't even face the weekend. How am going to get through it all? i've been in tears since i woke up.

    No, I can't stay home, someone stole my computer at work 3 wks ago and I have 4 months of accounting to put back in. I have 5 percocet to get me through until monday. That is not going to work. I can't go to the ER, I've done that before for a migraine and they treated me like crap, gave me a shot and told me to leave. They don't care about fMS pain, probably don't believe in it.

    My doctor only works til noon today and doubt she would even return a call today. Should I try? I'm just exhausted. My boyfriend who understands and believes my pain (he has 5 herniated discs) is struggling because over the last few months I've become depressed due to the pain and hardly even hold conversations. This is adding stress to my life because he wants to "address" it. It takes all I have to just be a mom to my six yr old 4 days a wk that I have him. I put on the fake smile and act strong when all I want to do is lay down and cry.

    What do I do? I've completely lost my drive, swear I'll never see 45 at this rate and I'm 35 now.

    Any suggestions? Anyone been down this road before? Been to this point, I feel as if I'm at the bottom.?

    Shawn
  2. Sachmo

    Sachmo New Member

    I am sorry you are having a rough time. Call your doctor today!

    I think you have some depression which is serious. Please call your doctor and try to get an appointment
  3. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    I just stepped out and had a smoke. I have been crying all morning and did the same yesterday. Just kept breaking down. This is how I was before I got this illness, like I was having an emotional breakdown. I have been working 50+ hours for the last 3 wks trying to get things back in order w/my books prior to end of the year. It is necessary for any of you bookkeepers you would know.

    Anyway, I'm thinking of calling my ex to see if he can take my son tomorrow ( a day early ) and have my mom watch him tonight and then calling my shrink and asking him to check me in for a weekend break. What do you think?

    I need it. I'm a mess and having some very not right thoughts in my mind and am ready to loose it and could use a weekend at the mental ward. What do you thing?????
  4. risinforce

    risinforce New Member

    His xmas party is Sat night so he can't take our son early so I can't get the much needed break. Not meant to be I guess. No one would understand anyway.

    I'm at a loss!
  5. cczub

    cczub New Member

    I'd call my doctor if I was in your place... My docotr was treating me for depression cause he thought the disease was in my head. It sounds to me you need a break. I don't know about a mental ward.. been there, done that.. But just a break. Dealing with an illness is hard enough bu adding in work, family and now the holidays it can be very hard to deal with. Even if you can take the weekend and lay in bed and try to relax could help tons.

    I'd call my doctor and talk with him/her first!

    I hope things work out for you.... Hang in there!!
  6. Empower

    Empower New Member

    You do what is the absolute best for you

    You yourself know your limits and what you can and cannot handle

    Do not worry about other people right now, worry about yourself.

    Take care, and hope you are feeling better soon

    You really need to discuss your concerns with your doctors
  7. minimonkey

    minimonkey New Member

    If you are as desperate as you sound -- especially the "not right thoughts" you mention -- please do call your shrink, right away!

    If you need to go to the hospital, go. Call someone you love and have him/her take your child --- you need to do what is right to keep yourself safe.
  8. Geechie

    Geechie New Member

    I take those, too. A while back my rheumatologist (who had set the number he gave me, I didn't even ask him for them) started getting snarky about the number of Percocet I was taking. I've still got the RX but I've found that the more of them I take, the less good they do. Until eventually they do no good at all!

    My doc told me to go to a rehab place (!!) - my hubby and I went to several and talked to them and each told me that was not where I needed to be. So, I went cold turkey with the pills and after a month, I could use a half one with the original benefit of a whole. (Yes it was the Month from Hell)

    So I still get my pills every month (but I'm looking for a new rheumy) and only take them when I have to.

    Please don't think I'm suggesting that you take too many Percocet!!!!! I know what it's like for someone to tell you that. It's just the way the things work. Good luck.
  9. kaymac

    kaymac New Member

    .....as I too just recently went thru an episode of complete hopelessness. I think any chronic illness with pain can be depressing. I wish I had an answer for you or could be near to help, because I would. I pray you find the right answers and gain a little glimmer of faith and hope again, which I think you will. And I pray you get some rest time in. Take Care.....
  10. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Try the On-Call doctor and see if your doc is working. Tell them the situation. They will listen. I used to never call a doctor after hours, however, my husband had some emergenicies, and I called several times. The docs were never nasty or mean and listened carefully.

    Give it a try .

    Kendra
  11. 1sweetie

    1sweetie New Member

    I thought I wrote your post. I can't handle this anymore.I've tried everything and I've lost my entire life that I knew before this disease. I've cried on and off for days. I was a bank vp and branch manager and now I can barely write a check. My family gives plenty of advise like I know you're sick but suck it up or I would help but I'm tired too. Probably I'm just having a pity party. I and my family been told to get help dealing with this and I should. I tried and gave up. I think today they get the picture and have taken their time to get me some professional help ASAP. This is my first post but I feel your pain and I wanted you to know that you are not alone.
  12. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    just want you to know that..
    Love Shelbo
  13. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    Wondering how you are doing?? You haven't posted again and you sounded like you were in a bad spot.

    Hope things are not feeling as futile. We are here.

    {{{hugs}}}
  14. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Thinking of you and will be praying for your strength!

  15. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    To detox from MS Contin you need to find a doctor to prescribe Subutex - (Buprenorphrine). I cannot believe how stupid doctors are. A doctor has to be specially licensed to prescribe Subutex but you can read about it on the web.

    Please try to find a doctor who can help you with Subutex. I used it to stop MS Contin and never had a bad day, really.

    I stayed on Subutex maintenance for fibro and am doing fine. (I stopped the MS Contin on 5/7/05).
  16. LittleBluestem

    LittleBluestem New Member

    I suggest that you tell your boyfriend NICELY that you can only deal with one thing at a time and that you will deal with his concerns after you get the data restored at work. Maybe you should add after the holidays, as well.
  17. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    Thanks for noticing the other post and cut and pasting it here :)