I could really use some support

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kat211, Jun 30, 2010.

  1. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    I am having a really tough time right now. The fibro had me in bed for 3 days and has now started to take make me feel like I am on a continuous roller coaster with occaisional potty breaks. I will feel fine for a few hours and then, BAM, I'm down and out for 16+ hours. Every day I have a few bearable hours in which I am not doing anything to exert myself and then a mini-flare hits out of nowhere. It is getting to be too much and is making me dizzy.

    Oh, and my sinuses, joints, and bloating aren't getting any better. Although aleve is working to take the edge off of the joint pain and rubbing Vit E oil all over the inside of my nose helps me get through the night.

    I lost a good friend this week. He isn't allowed to talk to me anymore b/c he and his wife are having problems and she made him cut me out as a condition of their couples therapy. We used to work together and we have been good friends for years now. I want the best for him and if it means we can't be friends, then so be it. But it hurts and sucks.

    I literally just fired the guy who cuts my lawn and helps me out around the house. He professed his feelings for me sometime ago and I told that the feeligns were not mutual and if he couldn't be professional then I would no longer need his services. He called me at 11:30 the other night and has been calling and stopping by out of nowhere multiple times a day for the past 6 days, even after I told him I wasn't feeling well and I would get back to him when I was better. ugh.

    Last night, my father called and left me another one of his viscious nasty drunken voicemails about what a horrible person I am how he hates me and all that great stuff. Yeah, he used to beat the tar out of me physically, emotionally, and mentally and I'm a horrible person for cutting off communications with him and my mom. They can keep their crazy. I have been dealing with these VMs for 18 months now. I finally broke down and changed my phone number last night. I used to have such a great easy number, which is why I didn't change it before. Now I am having to contact all sorts of people and business to change my number with them. I also have a ton of resumes out with my old number on them. What a pain.

    To top it off, I just found out that my unemployment runs out in 2 weeks and the amount I will get then is only 1/2 my usual amount. Unless Congress gets off their tufts and passes a new extension w/o all of the pork and crap, I am screwed.

    I am paralyzed with fear and frustration right now. With my unemployment running out I am scared that if I get a job I won't be able to afford daycare, and then what? Daycare is outrageous where I live, so even if I get a full time low paying job I won't be able to afford it. I'm also worried about paying for my medications. I can't stop taking them and expect to function well enough to even get out of bed, let alone work.

    Crap, now I can feel the flare coming on. looks like I have burned through my few good hours today.

    Sorry this is so long. I just don't know which way to go right now.
  2. shirley1259

    shirley1259 New Member

    I am so sorry you are having such a rough time of it. Have you thought about checking with Social Services for any kind of help. I know here they will help pay for day care So that moms can go out and work. They might even be able to help you out until you feel that you can work. It is worth checking out because it sounds like you really need help.

    I will be praying for you and hoping things get better.
    Gentle Hugs
  3. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    The program that used to help parents pay for child care while looking for or being employed shut down. They didn't have anymore money so they suspended all services indefinately about a year ago.

    I can't get refinance my house b/c I just bought it less than a year ago and I am currently suing the people I bought it from for fraud. I go to mediation on at the end of next month for that.

    I have some student loan money coming in a few weeks, but even that isn't going to last long, especially with the attorney's fees.

    I just don't know what to do.
  4. gapsych

    gapsych New Member

    Kat, I am so sorry you are going through this. When it rains, it pours.

    I don't have any suggestions, I wish I did.

    Like someone said above, if you can contact social services that might help.

    Let us know how you are doing.

    Be well.
  5. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    There are several programs that assist with meds - I don't know them offhand, but they have been posted on here before so you may be able to find info about them

    also if you have a YWCA (not YMCA) near you, they may have very cheap or even free child care....I know that many of them do

    I sure know how you feel getting hit by one thing after the nest......I have different stuff, going on but it's all financial and physical stuff piling up like crazy....the latest is that my car air just conked out for the THIRD summer in a row (& I mean the entire system, not just the coolant - very expensive) & I cannot drive w/o air bc I pass out.....have no money to fix it and no energy to even take it in....don't drive much at all, but cannot get by w/o a car - no public transportation here

    have been trying to get a cooling vest (much cheaper than fixing the air, but still way more than i can afford) but the company with the one that would work best for me has not bothered to answer any of the 3 emails I sent with a couple of questions I need to know before ordering (apparently they don't actually want to sell their product)

    and am trying to deal with student loans being due and no money to pay them - actually not enough money from SSDi to pay regular living expenses.....called the student loan place again today - told the person the whole situation, told her the amount that they are asking me to pay IMMEDIATELY ( I didn't get a bill just a really rude letter saying how much trouble I will be in if I don't pay it rt now) and told her that my entire monthly income is substantially less than the amt they are asking and she asked if I could pay in full today (hello?! sure I will just pull the money out of my a$$.....I mean seriously she asked that after I had already explained how much I had left after only paying rent and after I had explained that my entire income is far less than what they are asking me for.....crazy conversation)

    I did temp get the loan thing put off, so anyone reading this don't worry about trying to help me with this - not trying to hijack the thread - just explaining that I can really understand financial stress

    anyway, kat I really hope things get better for you soon

    oh, there is also that social services phone number (211, I think)....it's not in all areas of the country yet, inc mine, so I don't know for sure if that's the rt number, but if it is in your area, it might be helpful
  6. kat211

    kat211 New Member

    there are special situations in which you can get your student loans dismissed w/ and w/o filing bankruptcy. I know it is frustrating, but when you call demand to speak to the supervisor or dept manager, the people who answer the phones can only go off of a script and don't have the authority to use a paperclip w/o permission. I will look for the info and let you know if I find it. I remember seeing something b/c I am in grad school and thought about what would happen if I can't work. I think i owe upwards of 70k for both my undergrad degrees and my current grad degree.

    I'm going to start looking for community assistance programs tomorrow. I really froze today and just went to sleep so that my son didn't see me cry or get angry and yell at the dishes or something. He is an innocent wonderful child and does not need to see his mom loose it. I'm the only support he has.

    I never received that email from you btw. can you try again? I tried to email you, but your profile said no emails.

  7. AuntTammie

    AuntTammie New Member

    I am in the process of applying for loan forgiveness due to disability - they are just making it really hard and I am really too sick to fight them, but the ph call today was an attempt to do something in the time it takes to apply for the forgiveness thing (bc I just got a notice saying they wanted payment NOW - yes they capitalized it).....thought I had explained that, but I guess my mind is too foggy today to be clear

    I will try to sent the email again soon - have to find it and rt now I really need to get off the computer before I throw up