I am having a really tough time right now. The fibro had me in bed for 3 days and has now started to take make me feel like I am on a continuous roller coaster with occaisional potty breaks. I will feel fine for a few hours and then, BAM, I'm down and out for 16+ hours. Every day I have a few bearable hours in which I am not doing anything to exert myself and then a mini-flare hits out of nowhere. It is getting to be too much and is making me dizzy. Oh, and my sinuses, joints, and bloating aren't getting any better. Although aleve is working to take the edge off of the joint pain and rubbing Vit E oil all over the inside of my nose helps me get through the night. I lost a good friend this week. He isn't allowed to talk to me anymore b/c he and his wife are having problems and she made him cut me out as a condition of their couples therapy. We used to work together and we have been good friends for years now. I want the best for him and if it means we can't be friends, then so be it. But it hurts and sucks. I literally just fired the guy who cuts my lawn and helps me out around the house. He professed his feelings for me sometime ago and I told that the feeligns were not mutual and if he couldn't be professional then I would no longer need his services. He called me at 11:30 the other night and has been calling and stopping by out of nowhere multiple times a day for the past 6 days, even after I told him I wasn't feeling well and I would get back to him when I was better. ugh. Last night, my father called and left me another one of his viscious nasty drunken voicemails about what a horrible person I am how he hates me and all that great stuff. Yeah, he used to beat the tar out of me physically, emotionally, and mentally and I'm a horrible person for cutting off communications with him and my mom. They can keep their crazy. I have been dealing with these VMs for 18 months now. I finally broke down and changed my phone number last night. I used to have such a great easy number, which is why I didn't change it before. Now I am having to contact all sorts of people and business to change my number with them. I also have a ton of resumes out with my old number on them. What a pain. To top it off, I just found out that my unemployment runs out in 2 weeks and the amount I will get then is only 1/2 my usual amount. Unless Congress gets off their tufts and passes a new extension w/o all of the pork and crap, I am screwed. I am paralyzed with fear and frustration right now. With my unemployment running out I am scared that if I get a job I won't be able to afford daycare, and then what? Daycare is outrageous where I live, so even if I get a full time low paying job I won't be able to afford it. I'm also worried about paying for my medications. I can't stop taking them and expect to function well enough to even get out of bed, let alone work. Crap, now I can feel the flare coming on. looks like I have burned through my few good hours today. Sorry this is so long. I just don't know which way to go right now.