I could use a few prayers, please.....

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by jole, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. jole

    jole Member

    The next few days are going to be hard ones for me...something brought up a lot of old, terrible childhood memories that I can't seem to shake by myself. Well, it's the death of an uncle. His wife and my father had an affair for years after my mom and dad were married...which my dad took out on mom and us kids in hate cruelty for years. My mom was afraid to get out of the marriage, so we all suffered. There's even more that I can't talk about yet after all these years...I have been able to forgive...but not forget, and the pain comes back.

    I have been able to send a sympathy card to his kids (my cousins) because I know it wasn't their fault either, but will not attend the funeral....well, it's 100 miles away and I can't anyway. This has all caused a lot of pain...physical flare and mental bad memories.

    I just would like to have you help me with prayer so I can have peace of mind and heart, forget the past and hurt, and pray that he and his wife have also found peace and God's loving mercy. Also, for my cousins as they go through the loss of their father....I don't think they know about the past, but I'll never know that for sure.

    Anyway, thank you my dear friends....I can always count on you to speak to Jesus for me when I'm in trouble and it's hard to make sense of things........Jole

  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    "when I'm in trouble and it's hard to make sense of things.."

    Hey jole, i know what you mean by that statement. But Jesus is always there holding on to you.

    I'm not always a very big talker about hard situations, but lifting you up to the Lord!Jesus is your peace of mind, and in your heart, your past is covered, but maybe still needs alittle healing? He's big enough.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/11/2009]
    [This Message was Edited on 09/11/2009]
  3. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member

    God bless you sweetie and help you to get rid of these terrible memories and things you are going though as a result of your family's past. What a horrible thing for you to have to go through. The whole family sufferes and remembers all these things in their hearts for years.

    Be strong hon, I know Jesus is watching over you and giving you strength. I do not know what else to say about your MOM and whole family that had to deal with the hurt and infidelity of your Dad. I have said a prayer for you and hope you are doing better.

    That is good that you at least sent a card to the kids of your uncle. It is probably also a good thing that you could not go to the funeral but you did a good thing by at least sending them a sympathy card. Yes, it is very hard thing to put and KEEP some of these things in the past where they belong. However, working through them and trying to put things in some perspective, remembering that none of this was your fault, should at least be somewhat helpful.

    Love, Granni
  4. lilaclover30

    lilaclover30 New Member

    Things from the past come back, don't they? I have found someties that my sending a sympathy card that I can say what I feel and my sorrow best by writing it. i enjoy writing as the inner most thoughts seem to come forth.

    As granni says, sometimes just working them through in your mind does help.! This horrid affair had nothing to do with you and something that you shsould never have had to live through. Life does awful things to one's mind sometimes, doesn't it.

    Please know that you are thought of Jole. We love you sweetie.

    love to awl, Joan
  5. jole

    jole Member

    MS, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. It meant a lot to me to know that you care!!

    Granni and Joan, thanks dear friends! You're right...and I needed your reminder that I had nothing to do with any of it. We were just told so many times that everything in life was our fault that I seem to forget sometimes that it isn't....lol...

    My sister called today and we had a good talk...that helped also. She and I think so much alike sometimes it's scary, and she always knows when I'm down. She also has a much better sense of humor than I do...lol... so can usually make me laugh my way out of a "funk".

    Again, thanks to all......Jole
  6. soulight

    soulight New Member

    Prayers are definitely coming your way ! Can't write more today , but theprayers are coming.

  7. Gingareeree

    Gingareeree New Member

    I'm sorry to hear of your hurts. I'll keep you in my prayers too. God Bless you in this difficult time~~Jeanne
  8. jole

    jole Member

    Thank you so much, dear friends! I'm trying to keep my mind onto other people's needs and off my problems. Just forgot to do that for awhile there...................Jole
  9. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member

    its terrible wounds from the past coming back to haunt us. Reason why resolution and
    forgiveness is so important. Easier said than done isnt isnt it?

    My blood boils when i think of your family suffering like that. I know about infidelity in
    marriage and the trauma arising from that stuff. My father put us thru that..had an affair
    for 12 years...and it fragmented the whole family and caused everyone to become
    dysfunctional. However, our belief in karma and past lives kind of helps me to cope and
    understand why. So there is not a lot of blaming now.

    Oddly i feel nothing but pity for the other woman now. I believe she's still alive in our
    hometown. The anger and bitterness has gone and if there is, its directed more towards
    my father than her. She was this young teen working as a maid in our house those days.

    I do my meditation wherein i pray to be purged off negative emotions and past trauma.
    its one way i deal with the past. I know your faith is strong. it will help carry you thru
    this reawakening of painful memories.

    You were right to come here and vent. if you are always there to listen to others problems,
    you deserve to sound off about something that bothers you...and nothing more important than getting something off ones chest...

    I hope you will soon start feeling better...Jole

    God Bless
  10. Doznclan3

    Doznclan3 New Member

    Prayers for the peace of mind that is needed. I'm so sorry that you have bad memories. The Lord is always there for you, I know that you know that. Keep talking with him. You're in my prayers.
    Love, Cynthia
  11. jole

    jole Member

    I know both of you have been through terrible trials also, and have survived with dignity, so I will too. There's just times when being so down (and feeling worthless, as we were always told) makes it harder to pray....that's when I reach out to others. Bless you all for being here for me! And once again reaffirming my faith!..........Love ya.....Jole
  12. jole

    jole Member

    Yes, you are going through your own trials now.....and my prayers are with you also! I find comfort in the Bible. It's amazing how many times I can just pick it up and the verse seems made for me! But sometimes prayer, especially for myself, seems to elude me.

    Thank you, Georgia....you're a good friend also!
  13. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Have been praying for you. Asking the Lord in his perfect wisdom to show you what you need to heal more of those childhood wounds, and to get through this time.

    We will carry you through - and be your voice of prayer for as long as you need.

    I grieve for all of your sufferings, and know that Jesus grieves, and is especially close to you, in great tenderness. Someday we will be able to see and hear all the times on this earth - all the special love that poured from him to us when we were most hurt.

    Will keep praying!

    Love, Judy

  14. windblade

    windblade Active Member


    Oh - I am so sorry to hear what your mother lived through. To have all of that false guilt placed on you by the combined authority of church/ and parent is horrendous. What a terrible, terrible burden for her.

    I was just thinking of her reading the Elizabeth Goudge books - they are the exact opposite of a harsh, guilt inducing religion. I feel like I am receiving spiritual medicine when I am reading them - I never want them to end.

    You've been on my heart - praying for all of your needs. It's so true that only our trust in Jesus is not mis-placed, and He will draw us closer and closer into experiencing His full love, and we will receive complete joy, complete peace and safety.

    He is doing that for us even now, through these travails!

    Will keep you in my prayers, dear friend,
    Love, Judy
  15. Debra49659

    Debra49659 New Member

    I can relate to your experiences and I will keep you in my prayers.

  16. soulight

    soulight New Member

    I will be praying for all and I ask God to protect me when I do. My upcoming appointment ( yet another one ) with a gynecological oncologist ( see 9/17 prayer thread if you want all the nasty details !) has once again blindsided me with flashbacks, so the praying will be on the light side until I am prayed through this Wednesday ( please ?)

    God Bless all of our little girls inside of us and may we learn to nurture them and tell them that everything is alright and that He loves us no matter what.

    [This Message was Edited on 09/13/2009]
  17. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Praying you through!

    Left you a post on Prayer Thread.

    Love, Judy
  18. vivian53

    vivian53 Member

    I was sorry to read about your recent grief. It's doubly hard when we have strong feelings attached to the person that passed, either positive or negative feelings, even mixed all up together. I am sorry you suffered so much as a child. I hope that when this is over those feelings will go back and stay back in the past where they belong.

    You aren't that hurt and powerless child any longer. You have faith in God and Jesus as your savior. You are a strong woman.

    Jole I am praying that this crisis is over and you are able to put it behind you and move on with peace and serenity.

    big hugs to you,
  19. soulight

    soulight New Member

    How are you doing ? I care about you.

  20. jole

    jole Member

    Yes, thanks to all you dear friends! It's like I am two people...the me of the traumatic past, and the me of the present....and something from the past can trigger a conflict between the two "me's", to the point that I'm not sure which one I am. The confusion of feeling everything that goes wrong in this world is my fault, or the belief that no one is so powerful to cause that much wrong..can trip me up for awhile. It's so amazing that one abusive person can have so much power on an entire family's lives.

    Because of all you beautiful friends, who cared enough to pray and let me know I matter, I feel fairly "normal" again. May God bless you all....... Jole

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