I don't know what to do....

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by stilhere, Mar 29, 2003.

  1. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    Hi everyone...I'm having so much trouble with my 16 year old son, I think I've posted before about the trouble I've been having, well I've had to kick him out about a month ago because he was leaving for days at a time on a drinking binge, so I had him leave, he was gone for two weeks and now, he's back home, I was glad, he's my oldest son and I love him so much, I did what the scripture said about the prodigal son, he was out telling everyone that I don't spend time with him or buy him anything that I spend my money and time with my two other sons and my three year old girl, (TOTALLY NOT TRUE, HE'S ALWAYS OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS)so anyways, on his first day back, we went to the local mall and I bought him $350 worth of new clothes with the promise from him that he would change, that he would check in when he's out and that he would help around the house, but most important, he would cut down at least on drinking and doing drugs. Well last night, he went out to help one of his friends babysit a relative, (this is another sore spot for me because he does very little if that to help with his three year old sister...example...we went as a family to visit a nother relative and we all got off the car at the same time, my 16 year old got off as my 14 year old was getting my three year old out of the car, another car was approaching a few cars away, still a safe distance, but my 16 year old didn't even think to get his sisters hand, he just ran across the street to the house, my 14 year old leaped to get his sister without hestitation or me telling him to..)well anyways, he ended spending the night there and so I was washing clothes this morning and for some reason looked near his dresser and seen behind the dresser garbage bags and wrinkled newspaper, when I moved everything there was , I don't know in my day they called them bongs, two of them as big as my three year old, about 8 smaller ones, plus three cans of beer, I guess he was saving,I went to the closest river and through them over the bridge, I was pissed, I feel betrayed, disappointed, depressed, I've been really trying, you know, I was thinking maybe its me or something I haven't done, so I've been going the extra step, I even invited him, because I'm not married nor am I seeing anyone, but I was just recently awarded a grant to go back to school, in my area there is not many disabeld people with Lupus, much less a single mother trying to go back into the work force, so a club, like the rotary club, heard about me and decided to help me get back to school, they presented me with a check at a big dinner at a local fancy resturant, well anyways I asked my son to escort me, but when the time came, he didn't come home, and when he did, it was an hour before and his eyes were blood red...today, before he left, I told him that this month in April he is going to be 17 that he has one year to get his act together, or when he is 18, he has to leave, that is when his medicaid stops and everything stops for him and if he's not helping himself, then I can't help him either, his response was just, okay mom....he had a summer job about a year and a half ago, but his grades were failing...the agency that he went through wanted him to go to tutorials to help him get his grades back up and they would even pay him, he didn't want to, he said it would take up to much time away from his friends.....there is so much, and you all don't have the time, I just wanted to vent...I feel so depressed....this is a new computer, I just purchased it a couple of months ago because he broke my old one...he wanted to download a program but had trouble before, I was going to the doctor and told him yes, he can but if he has trouble to wait for me...to make a long story short, he ended up downloading something that had a virus and just completely damaged my computer, his response was mom, its just a computer......I was depressed because you all right now are my only outlet.....I'm sorry for babbling....
    [This Message was Edited on 03/29/2003]
  2. CJ-Tex

    CJ-Tex New Member

    some prayers will help and I will be glad to do that for you and your son. It might help if you involved your pastor or a counselor or someone with experience with troubled youths to serve as a third party arbitrator with you and your son.

    It is so hard to see a young life of someone you love take a turn, isn't it? Just a thought.....We had a about a two year period with our son that he was rebellious, as far as I know he didn't do any drugs but he did drink sometimes and act out. We found some of the tactics of "Tough Love" to work very well. It was the hardest thing we ever did but it sure got Steven's attention. You might want to take a look at their website = www.toughlove.org and see if there is a chapter near your home. Like I said it was as hard on us as it was on him but we used some help from them and it certainly helped him.

    Good luck and I will be glad to lift you up to the Lord in prayer.

    C J
  3. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    Prayer is the best thing. Because through Christ we can do anything..I've tried getting him to church and he says he's going to go, but come Saturday night,he's gone and doesn't come home till Sunday evening.....