I don't want to be sick!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MoosesMom, Mar 5, 2006.

  1. MoosesMom

    MoosesMom New Member

    This is what I was saying over and over last night through my tears as my husband held me. I had the BEST day on Saturday. I have been feeling great for about 2 weeks and on Sat. I took my 6 year old daughter to WalMart and bought her a soccer ball and a tennis racket. We went home and I taught her how to play tennis (hitting the ball up against the garage door) She caught on fast and we played this way for 2 HOURS!! Then we kicked the soccer ball around and I cleaned out my mini-van, even taking out the seats and vaccuming it top to bottom. Later I took her to McDonalds and then we had bathtime and crawled into bed to watch cartoon while we waited for Daddy to come home from a mens church event. It was a GREAT DAY!! Of course I wake up Sunday in the most God awful pain. I was in tears most of the morning but went to church anyway. I was weeping by the time I had climbed the stairs to Sunday School and we came home after SS was over. I went straight to bed where I stayed for the rest of the day. My beautiful daughter kept poking her head in the bedroom to ask me if I needed anything and to update me on what she and her next door neighbor friend were playing. I could hear them outside and it just killed me. I AM SUPPOSED TO BE OUT THERE PLAYING WITH THEM, NOT IN BED!!! I am PISSED!!
  2. pemaw54

    pemaw54 New Member

    I hate this disease just like all of us do!! We have 2 grandbabies age 2 and 4 mth. I love them more than anything but when I know we are going to see them, I know where I will be the next day and maybe even the one after that. Im sooo sorry this has happened to you. What is my purpose in life now? I cant sit through church. I taught 3yr old in sunday school and cant even hold my own grandbabies now. I sit in this house and pray most of the day and part of the night when the pain wont let me sleep. I hope it helps alittle that you are in my prayers

    Suzette
  3. Hope4Sofia

    Hope4Sofia New Member

    reading your post. This dd is so frustrating. It makes you afraid to do things when you feel good because of how you will feel next.

    I spent the weekend in tears also. I did a few stretching exercises that my dr prescribed and that was it.

    That night I had terrible restless legs and I've hurt terribly since then. It was unfortunate because my hub had to work this weekend leaving me home w/ our 3 kids and a house to show (we are selling it).

    It was a bad recipe. I yelled at my kids which I just hate doing. I hate myself when this dd takes over. When it's bad, everything agitates me - noises, temperature, smells - like I want to turn my sensitivity down 10 notches.

    I feel like my hub and kids have to deal with so much because of me. It's just such a desperate feeling.

    Reading your post just broke my heart. I know that feeling and wish I could take it away from you and everyone on this board.

    Sofi
  4. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    You want to be a good mom, do this stuff then you do and wham! Been there done that.

    Yesterday, decided to take son sledding. Just a short walk over to hill at school. I did two runs, even though I am meant to be resting up with kidney infection, but I had snow pants on etc. Boy I ended up leaving him there with his dad as I wondered if I would actually make it home!!!

    I hate this too, as it sure cuts into everything. Like knitting, I have a half finished sweater I dare not even pick up as I know it will hurt my shoulders. I am even thinking we all need voice controlled keyboards(LOL)

    Love Anne C
  5. Bet2

    Bet2 New Member

    Friday my doc's assistant told me to cry and I wouldn't; course she finally got me too because I was hurting so bad.

    I told her my quality of life is just so different now; have to be careful with everything that I do and if I am not POW!

    I try so hard to do everything correctly; eating, excercising, resting; and alot of the time I am okay, but if I screw up just a little bit then I suffer.

    So I understand how feeling good one day makes you want to get everything done because of feeling so useless the rest of the time.

    Your post touched my heart.

    Bet2
  6. Angel6801

    Angel6801 New Member

    Your post are breaking my heart. But... I am familar of what you going through. I am single ane yet is raising my 3 years old girl.

    Like you, I had those great days and bad days. One day I would playing with my daughter all day. She would become so coopertive and good girl. Then next day,I became so sick and with my emotions being out of whack(crying spells and grumpy), that I could not help but want to stay in my bed all day. Then my daughter would have those temper tantrums (well, she start to get out of it). Now she sometimes said ohhh mom you need to get medication or oh mom you need to go to dr.

    Hope things will work out for you! It can be so difficult to get through it.
  7. kaiasmom

    kaiasmom New Member

    I am so sorry - it is so hard to have to deal with this DD with small children.

    A few months ago on a Saturday I was feeling pretty good, so I went out with the boys (my fiance & his son) to hit a baseball around a little. Well, they convinced me to try hitting a few. Once I started, I found that I was actually pretty good! Well, for me anyways. I was having a great time - it was really fun for all of us, since I don't usually get to be that involved in the outdoor play. So, I kept going until my arms wouldn't go anymore - bad idea.

    The next day I woke in a similar state to what you just described. My arms & shoulders were on fire - not sure they've ever hurt that bad. So goes the saying, you play, you pay. Unfortunately for us, that means any kind of play - even the really good kind!

    I hope you feel better soon.

    Leanne
  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Dear Moosesmom,

    I'm so sorry that you ended up bedridden the day after having such a good time with your daughter.

    You definitely overdid it on Saturday! Oh my gosh, there is no way that I could have done a fraction of what you did on Saturday!

    The most important thing to remember with fibro is to pace yourself! This doesn't mean that you have to stop doing things with your daughter, you just have to maybe do them for shorter amounts of time, then take time to rest -- and not do everything in one day!!

    Instead of doing so many physical things in one day--a trip to Wal-Mart, playing soccer and tennis, a major van clean, etc., you could do one of those things, then spend time in the kitchen with her making cookies or playing board games.

    Unfortunately, we can no longer be SuperMom's and SuperWomen, we have to change our lives to a much slower pace just to survive.

    Hope you are feeling better now.

    Much love,
    Janet
  9. HppeandMe

    HppeandMe New Member

    Hi Moosesmom-

    I didn't know how many parents were actually on this site! I too know what you are going through. It is so hard! I am the bread winner in my family and want to stop working for me but I don't want to lose everything. I feel so horrible for the children and my husband. I know we are just all full of guilt. Non of us wanted to get sick. I am sure none of thought we would or we thought we would when we got old. I had two good days the week before last and thought that I was on top of the world.

    My son went around telling everyone I was better. I just cried!

    He usually babysits himself in the basement and my daughter in her room. I am not sure what we are supposed to do. I just know we all love our children. I don't know if I would have gotten married or had children if I knew this was going to happen. I hate to say that but even more I hate to see everyone suffer. It's not just me.

    Moosesmom- I am pissed too! I would take this away from all of us until our children were old enough to carry their own lives (I know we all would). None of knows why this has happened to us. Please let me know if you need a shoulder.