I don't WANT to have all those strangers over to my house Vent

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by razorqueen, Dec 13, 2006.

  1. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    Last week we had our Bible Study Christmas Party at our house. This is something I wanted to do. It took me all week just to get my house ready, because, of course, I have to have it JUST SO, when we have people over! [rolleyes]

    I was exhausted by the time the party came, even tho I really passed myself during the week, as to not over do it on any one day. It all went well, and we had friends over on Sunday too.

    Now, on Monday morning, my hubby phones me from work, asking if we could have his employees over after the Christian Comedian we are going to see [Ken Davis]. It was supposed to be at one of the other business owers, but HIS wife was stressed out cause their kids have a hockey game that afternoon and they have a family gathering that weekend as well. I have never met her, but I haven't heard anything of her being ill, like me, with FM.

    My husband claims he will do ALL the work[after all, it doesn't take much effort,,,GRRRRR], get all the snacks, and I don't have to do anything,,,, yeah right,,, where have I heard that one before?? I am basically forced to go along with this, as it means SOOO much to him!

    To top it off, the day before this "party", I have to take my daughter to her new GI appointment 1 1/2hrs away, in winter conditions. We can't miss this appointment no matter what, as he is fitting her in[he has a 6-8month waiting list].

    I just wish my husband would understand how this stresses me out. I told him he has no clue as to what is involved in getting ready for a party, as being a male, all he usually does is just show up. Must be nice. I told him that these people will be judging him AND me by how our house looks when they come, as he is their boss. This is also a reflection apon me as well.

    I will be lucky if I know about 4 out of the approx 20 people that will be coming. Uhhgg. I just wish it were over!

    Thanks for listening,

  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    That's a tough one razorqueen!! I was pretty overwhelmed about all the things piling up for me this week, and just backed out of one thing.

    I hope it works out some how.
  3. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    While your hubby might work a lot, so do you. After hearing about your party and all of your guests, along with taking your DD to doctor, etc., you need to slow down. Duh, huh?? LOL

    Your husband said it wasn't much trouble, picking up snacks, etc., Make sure he does go!! Let him do everything, plus cleanup. He made the offer, he should follow through. Excuse yourself, tell them you are not feeling well, and go rest.

    If the other wife is so 'stressed', you may want to ask your DH, what he thinks you are.

    Bless your heart. I worry about you completely crashing, with all you have going on. I'm sure it has run through your mind...

    Of course, this is easier said than done. I am just tired of pushing to please everyone when I am feeling really sick. I don't make excuses anymore. I take care of myself, because no one else is going to! LOL

    You'll be in my thoughts and prayers...

    Gentle Hugs,

  4. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    I agree with Kim.....if hubby volunteered, let him do all the work. Just make a list for him and watch him go.

    I always think that the person who volunteers should be the one doing all the work. Happened at Thanksgiving for us too. (This started with a chili cookoff years ago that he volunteered me for.)

    Hubby volunteered to bring the pies so Thanksgiving morning as my daughter was freaking out about making them, I 'volunteered' to have him help her. Afterall, he was the one who didn't tell us until the Sunday before that we were invited.

    Then late Tuesday night he told us what we were bringing. So........His butt was out in the kitchen with her while I drank my coffee lounging in my chair saving my energy so I could go to the friend's house that afternoon.

    And everything went just fine........relax, nothing needs to be perfect.

    Happy Holiday Hugs,

    Nancy B
  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Sometimes we need to learn how to say no. Your husband should understand.

    I really would not feel forced to go along. I have had to really make my husband understand. I don't want people coming to the house early in the day for anything.

    He will make appts without telling me. Finally, I started asking him to call people and reschedule.

    That changed things and he no longer makes early appts.
  6. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    he is keeping true to his word. He actually scrubbed a large stain on the floor in the garage from garbage sitting there too long[its his job to take it away] it had been there since summer sometime. Interesting how NOW he wanted to clean it up.......

    I volunteered to go buy the cheesecakes today,, I have to go to down to go out with my Mom, so she doesn't think I'm neglecting her. sigh. Anyways, he is picking up the rest.

    Tomorrow we have to go to the city for the appointment for Jerica, and of course, it is supposed to snow, and with mild temps, means icy roads, so DH is taking us!

    He will have a busy evening on Friday and day on Sat before the concert! LOL I am trying really hard not to get stressed, but it is PMS week,,,,, my goodness, what else?

  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    hubby has any idea how much work is involved in entertaining. Is it possible to hire help?
  8. joyfully

    joyfully New Member

    Been there, done that, bought the T shirt, and learned the theme song------

    Call your local grocery store and have a huge appetizer tray made.

    Get the other stuff from their deli department and put it in some nice serving bowls.

    Order Christmas cookie platter from the bakery department.

    Call Molly Maids or some other cleaning service and have them clean.

    Set your hubby down and tell him your expectations. TELL him that he is the HOST---not a guest at this function. Tell him in no uncertain terms that this means he HELPS the entire night-----he doesn't sit in a chair and gab with his buddies.

    Tell him that you expect him to keep coming to you to find out what he needs to do---that you aren't going to have to keep hunting him down, apologizing for interrupting his gab fest with his coworkers, and ask him to do something. Your expectations are that he come to you to find out what needs to be done next. Period.

    If you are expected to do more than just a little food, I'd also suggest that you hire someone to keep the trays full and clean up the mess afterwards.

    I'd also have the guests wear name tags. Half of the people there will be spouses, so they won't know many of the other people either. This way, you won't have the additional stress of attempting to remember names on top of running a party.
    [This Message was Edited on 12/14/2006]
  9. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    Raz, hey! My dh likes to have people over for the 4th of July every year....he actually does everything....he cleans up the house(we now have a cleaning lady so he mostly needs to pick up-the kids help) he buys the food, grills everything, cuts up onions, tomatoes, ets...sets out everything...packs a cooler for outside...I mean he really does do everything...

    I even take a nap during the festivites...i feel no guilt...it is my house,too and I am ill...

    my advice is get the word out that you are ill...that takes the pressure off you...and make it clear to dh that you will lay down at any time if you need to...i personally can't take all the noise and chatter....and remind him you aren't doing anything because you will be recovering from the doc's appointment from the day before...

    with the holidays coming, you don't want to be flattened from this party...you would be suprised what these men can do by themselves!!! teehee!!!!

    i would tell him to make a list of tasks so he can pace himself...otherwise you will end up doing all the stuff he forgot or didn't leave enough time for...once the men do this a few times, they get pretty good at it!!!

    hang tough!!! you'll do great!
  10. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    well, I made his a very detailed list of the things that need to be done[but probably not detailed enough, I'm sure he has no clue as to where the cleaning supplies are]. I gave it to him and he said "no problem, I don't find this stuff stressfull", yeah right, he doesn't see any of the details.

    As I don't know any of the people coming I have no contact with them, and I am sure DH hasn't told them I have FM. I told him he will be hosting, and he said he had planned on being THE host.

    Good for him. I'm not doing anything.

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