I feel a block when I try to pray...a/o else? What do I do?

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by shelbo, Jun 27, 2004.

  1. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    I just wrote about my aunt Lorriane with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and I wanted to write this but didn't. Since I got this Fibro ( I suffer also with Rosacea) my prayer life seems blocked. Even before this I had trouble praying. I could never let myself go and this may sound strange (I felt like I couldn't just relax and pray, it was like I had to formulate in my head the best way of saying stuff and if I paused I felt bad). I feel still like prayers are s/thing to get over quickly maybe because praying makes me feel uncomfortable. Why does praying make me feel uncomfortable? I love the Lord. Why should praying be uncomfortable for me? Is it because I feel inadequate? Is it because I don't feel worthy? Is it because I am scared of s/thing I don't realise? Maybe I am angry with God because of my situation? Maybe I am not comfortable with myself...I find being still (even though exhausted and headaches all the time) really hard. Maybe that's anxiety.I don't know. But I want that relationship with God.
    It makes me feel bad that I don't find praying comfortable or easy. I'm supposed to be a Christian.
    Can anyone help me out with this? I feel so ashamed posting this. It makes me feel evil that I do not have this relationship with my Lord and Saviour.
    I mentioned my aunt; well, this makes me feel bound in chains. Please prayer for me. I want the Holy Spirit to burst into my heart and set me on fire for God. I want to be God's faithful servant. I want to find talking to him easier than talking to any one else, not the other way around.
    Please advise me and pray for me. Thank you for listening!
    Shelbo
  2. grge

    grge New Member

    Do you feel uncomfortable because you are trying to pray formally?

    Why don't you try talking to God as if he were your very best friend, lay out your fears, tell Him what you wrote here.

    God doesn't require us to pray elaborate prayers.

    I pray that God lift this spiritual burden from you, in the name of Jesus i ask that He fill your heart with love, comfort, and understanding, that He will bring you closer to Him and you will feel His love surround you. Amen
    Grge
  3. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    Grge. Thank you! It means a lot to me. You are right, I think and I will try your suggestion.
    Shelbo :)
  4. nymama

    nymama New Member

    I just asked myself the same question last Thursday-
    "Why is it so hard to pray about this?"

    Maybe because Fibro is a hard disease, it's hard to diagnose, it's hard to ask for help, it's hard when noone understands....

    BUT JESUS DOES! He suffered through so much (and took stripes for OUR healing).

    I have been a Christian for many years- I love the Lord with all my heart- I know He is in control of my life-
    do I know why he has allowed this stinky disease to be a part of my life- no, but I know there must be a reason.

    I have seen God work miracles before, and I know he will again- talk to HIM- don't worry about the words- sometimes you don't even have to speak- just cry- HE KNOWS! Use PUSH prayer (Pray Until Something Happens).

    Let Jesus be your comfort & strength- lean on HIM!
    Know that you are not alone-
    I'll keep praying for you!
    With love, Deborah aka nymama
  5. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    It's good to know people are praying for me. :)
  6. Montysmum

    Montysmum New Member

    I totally relate to all you say, it could have been me writing ! I still pray, particularly for the people on this board, but nothing personal as I don't 'feel' any answers etc, but I have seen God answer prayer so many times that I refuse to stop with my small one-liners because of my feelings of inadequacies.
    I think the way we feel about ourselves does affect our relationship with God, I am alone, have no friends around me, dislike myself intensely, therefore I view God & His love with caution. I don't know why, it's just the way I am.
    Grge suggested talking to God as if He was your best friend, that is good advice, if you talk instead of pray somehow it feels different. I do that constantly.
    I hope you will find the peace you are seeking & a closer relationship with the lord, which we all want too!
    I will 'pray' for you, or mention you to God when talking to Him again!
    Linda.
  7. monkeykat

    monkeykat Member

    Hi Shelbo,
    I can totally relate. I have asked the same questions that you have asked at times. It's not an easy road being ill. I had never thought I was angry with God and never expressed anger at him until recently. Then I felt guilty. I realized that my anger is honest though and now it's all out b/t me and God. There are so many things to work through and so many losses when we are ill. I really work hard at being a thankful person and staying positive but it's just not possible all the time.

    I am also finding that there are many ways to pray. I find a site called sacredspace helpful to teach me to enter into God's presence and it only takes about 5 minutes to pray. It leads you into prayer through "presence", "convesation", "reading a short scripture" and other means. It's fantastic.

    I also find that expressing my anger is prayer and then I eventually talk it out with the Lord. I find that expressing my fears is prayer and then I find that he eventually brings comfort. I find that just being silent and looking at flowers, animals, nature is prayer for me sometimes...it helps me reflect on God's power, creativity, sovereignty, etc.. These are different types of prayer for me but they are helping me to find peace and think about God when I'm distraught and cannot pray like I used too. Hope this helps you.

    Monkeykat
  8. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    Thank you...I will pray for you too...maybe we'll get each other's prayers answered. Smiles & blessings,
    Shelbo
    ps. I don't think I like myself either...so much of the stuff you said rang true. But, y'know, we have to understand that God loves us so completely. I think in our hearts you and I know that! :)
  9. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    I will be looking up that site sacredspace. It could be a good starting point for me. I just wanted to say that your messages brought such hope to me. Shelbo
  10. danny3861

    danny3861 New Member

    Many prayers for you will be coming my way Shelbo.
    May the Lord stay by your side to give you comfort, peace, and the strength to endure. May he pour many blessings your way. Bless you.

    Danny
  11. bakron

    bakron New Member

    Your very spirit in the note you wrote above is praying your hearts desire to the Lord. Not only that, but we all agree, and that's many more than "two or three."

    There are so many ways to pray. I do what I call "thinking to the Lord." This may be the only way to be "constant in prayer." It's not formal, it's just "thinking." Like thinking and talking to myself, but I take me out of it and just think to the Lord. You'd be surprised at how many things you and God can work out together that way.

    Remember as well that you don't have to "feel" any certain way. A long time ago, someone told me that love was a verb. Well, I think everything that has to do with the Christian walk is a verb. I know, too, that sometimes it takes action to cause the type of love that Christ spoke of become a reality.

    What we have to do is just by faith take the idea that we will "do" (the action) and then just "do" whatever. The Spirit is there, and you are heard. Don't worry . . sometimes feelings follow action. It's like walking, one step at a time. That's faith! Praise the Lord that we are so loved by Him that we don't have to rely on our feelings!

    May God bless you as you seek Him in prayer. Remember, too, that we have to sometimes listen. Sometimes our thoughts/lips must stop so we can listen . . What a wonderful thing we have in our walk on this earth! Just like Enoch, we can walk and we can talk with the Lord almost constantly. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could just do that until like Enoch we "were no more."

    In His perfect love, Jeannette
  12. stagename

    stagename New Member

    You're not alone, you're not evil.
    I have the same problem with praying. With FM/CFS, the brain fog, fatigue, depression, pain, hard to concentrate, i mean to pray longer and i don't, or i fall asleep or get distracted. i used to beat myself up over it.

    was i not spiritual enough, did i not love god, did i not really know god, was god ignoring me, was i not doing it right???

    i know now that a lot of people with depression or fm have a hard time praying, that is sitting still, quiet and thinking, without falling asleep or not concentrating well. Then we start struggling with feeling like we're not good enough, and that gets in the way of our prayers too.

    i find these things help me-
    -praying with a friend (over email, in person, on the phone)
    -writing my prayers (keep a journal, or give God a hotmail address and send them off to cyberspace)
    -listening to worship music (really focusses my attention on god)
    -reading prayers (like the Psalms, book of prayer or something from the bookstore)

    Some things can keep us from praying, or connecting with God, like undeclared, unrepentant sin in our lives (common sneaky culprits- unforgiveness, bitterness, grudges, envy, pride). Deal with that through prayer first.

    Hang in there. Don't give up.
  13. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    Your words really comforted me and allowed me to see this in a new light! i am gonna try all of yuor suggestions.
    Thank you all, God Bless,
    Shelbo