i feel horrible...

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pinkstar, Dec 24, 2005.

  1. pinkstar

    pinkstar New Member

    i hate this DD. i hate what it does to me and my family. treatments are costing us so much money, my mom just bounced her first check ever today. and there are more bills waiting to be paid... but no money to pay them with. i feel so bad that i am using up all of her money. my stepdad doesn't help out much since he works pro bono. i wish i could work and help out some. i almost wanna give up and stop going to the ffc cause its costing so much. i'm so far along and it has helped me... but i denno what to do... i just feel so crappy and selfish...

    she still bought me xmas presents even though... and she does so much... and i can't do anything... i just wish i could... does anyone else feel so useless? if so, what CAN we do about it?

    -a sad, sad Lauryn
  2. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    You sound so down and I know that you want to do more...but your mom seems to love you so much! She is giving to you now...maybe soon you can give back to her.

    I know...I am a mom...so she wants to do it for you!!

    We care sweetie!
  3. skyeone

    skyeone New Member

    be thankful that your mother supports you in this. mine does't believe that there is a single thing wrong with me. and if you read my last post you'll understand what i'm talking about.

    i know you feel bad, so do i, i've as good as lost any faith my kids may have had in me, and worse i have lost most of my own self respect since i am too out of it most of the time to be able to care for them.

    sorry to put a downer on how you already feel, i jsut am looking for you to count your blessings, somehow, someway things will work out for you.

  4. Jessa34

    Jessa34 New Member

    I can relate - I have to rely on my mother a lot lately and instead of feeling grateful that I have the help when I need it I end up feeling like I'm a little kid that can't do anything for herself. I had been stressing over getting presents and my mom put my name on a bunch of stuff for other family members; I thought we had agreed to not get each other anything and she bought me things anyway. I'm her daughter and she wanted to do it, but I still feel like a bum.

    I wish I had some good advice for you. The only thing I can say is you aren't alone in how you feel and it's understandable. I try and keep reminding myself that it won't always be this way. I may always be sick, but other circumstances can change to make things feel less hopeless.

    I know it's not much to offer but hang in there and be glad that you have help right now. You're not useless - it may just take a little while for things to make more sense. In the meantime take good care of yourself.

    Try to have an ok holiday.

  5. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    My Mom and Dad passed away a number of years ago. There is just me and my brother who is older than I am.

    I know the guilt you are feeling. My brother has had to pay a number of my bills this year. I was out of work from January until the end of October and it was horrible. I don't know where I would be without my brother.

    The irony right now is that I've been back to working full time, and this is the first time that I won't be able to pay my mortgage. My brother doesn't have the money (nor can I ask for it with all he has done for me) so my payment will be late. I was hoping to keep it together just a little while longer, but apparantly that was not meant to be.

    I've never had a late payment on my mortgage and it is killing me that I will.

    To answer your question, YES I feel pretty darn useless and I don't know what to do about it.

    I'm sorry you are feeling that way too.