I feel I am like an agrophobic!!!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by RENA0909, May 13, 2010.

  1. RENA0909

    RENA0909 New Member

    I am having such a hard time lately trying to get myself to go out of the house.
    This winter here in UK has been REALLY long and cold....It has affected me really badly and even today we have had frost.I cannot cope at all with cold weather so I have not been out really for months.

    BUT my worry is that I do NOT want to go out at all!I get panicky and anxious if I am asked to go anywhere at all.
    We cancelled a wedding last week because I could not face all the people and I refuse all invites to any social occasions.

    I used to be the biggest party animal of all time before I got fibro.Always had friends and family around for dinner.

    I feel as though I have no social skills anymore because this illness has kept me in so much pain that I cannot even cope with phone calls!I have isolated myself from the world and I hate it!!!

    I do not try to explain to my hubby because I dont think he will understand.I just say.........I cannot be bothered going anywhere so he just accepts that.

    He does not realise I am slowly taking myself away from the world.

    I do not tell my daughter or family...when they ring I pretend I am fine!!

    I know I am getting worse though.I already take anti-depressants and anxiety meds and BP meds(family history).

    I wish I could get myself to accept company a bit more...I have a big family and I love them all to bits!!!They are all funny, happy,loving people and I adore them!
    Maybe some sunny weather will cheer me up!Ihope so.


  2. butterflydream

    butterflydream New Member

    I so much understand all you are saying here.

    Sounds so much like a post i would have wrote.
    I also did so much before i had fibromyalgia. I feel it has progressed throughout the years.

    A bit of sunshine does often feel good. Then again too much can have opposite affects.
    I've learned to just take one day as it comes.
    Leaving my home is so hard to do.

    Good to hear you have a Big family and you love them so much.
    I understand how you pretend your fine to others.
    I also keep much to myself. i don't want others to think i am a complainer.
    Unless they have this , it's not so easy to expect another to understand.

    Along with fibro i have other conditions that are physically being noticed.
    I'm looking like a ole cripple and don't like it at all.

    Big Hugs for you today and may tomorrow you have sunshine.
  3. quanked

    quanked Member

    the desire to stay home. I do not get anxious or panicky about leaving but I wish I would never have to leave my house again most of the time.

    I am generally glad that I ventured out to run errands unless it totally wipes me out.

    I use to be much more social. I miss being able to participate more in life.

    Rena, What bothers me about what you said is that you feel anxious about the prospect of leaving the house. Your anxiety might be something for you to be concerned about.

    What I have come to understand is that social skills get rusty if they are nnot used--and boy are my social skills rusty!

  4. Misfit101

    Misfit101 New Member

    I have to force myself out of the house when its necessary to go out. All the preparation...like showering and dressing...wipes me out. But its not a panicky feeling...more a feeling of dread. I agree with the other poster who said you might want to look into it. Good luck and I hope you feel better when the sun does make its appearance!
  5. RENA0909

    RENA0909 New Member

    Thanks for the replies......it is good to know I am not alone in feeling this way.
    Maybe you are a right about when I say I feel panicky........maybe it is just a feeling of dread.

    I did not used to be this bad until a few months ago.....probably when we got this bad winter and I was in so much pain I did could NOT go out.

    I am going out tomorrow to a party for someone who is 50 and I am dreading it.If I could stay home I would.The great thing is it is only 3 mins away and I know that I only have to stay till I feel like I HAVE TO GO!!!!!!!!!!
    It is in the day time so I can leave ASAP LOL!

    Maybe you are right and I need a bit of sunshine.It is VERY scarce here in the UK though lol!

    I could go away to sunnier places but I cannot cope with the heat so I will suffer here instead lol!

    Take care

  6. mai

    mai New Member

    Hi Rena,
    Just to say I understand All you say 110% Could have been me writing............but I find that over and over again on this site..... which is both comforting and alarming at the same time, as it is so horrific to think just how many there are of us really suffering so badly with all of these soul destroying illnesses.
    So tired at the moment...this is me on the night shift, with yet another day stuck inside to look forward to, although I am VERY fortunate cos I have a garden. Hope you do too.
    Wishing you and All of us 'WELL' lets hope someday VERY SoooooooooooooN X Warmest thoughts Mai :)
  7. caroleye

    caroleye New Member

    Used to be that social butterfly you were; but over the past few years, absolutely "dread" leaving me house, as not only do I not have the energy, but it increases my pain significantly. I have no family, so no obligations there, so computer's the only way I connect w/others.

    I'm grateful I don't have to go out as others do my errands. And get this......I live in sunny California!! But having Lupus that's the last place I go (outside).

    Two things come to mind. D3 has been proven to help with the lack of sunshine, and then there's that sun lamp (blanking on the name of it), but it's for people who get Seasonal Affective Disorder when the sun is scarce. My ex has that, and so he takes trips to the sun occasionally to lift his mood, but he's healthy.

    If you google Seasonal Affective Disorder, am sure that sun lamp will come up. Seattle, Wa has a very high rate of people with this as they get so much overcast/rain like England.

    I actually appreciate my being a "hermit", and try not to remember the times when I was healthy and did all those things we can't do anymore. But the pages keep being turned with this illness.

    Sending you some California sunshine..............carole
  8. deb_46

    deb_46 New Member

    and I'm glad to hear that your hubby seems to cope with your issues ok. Mine did not and we are divorcing after 32 years. One of the things he has kept throwing up to me is that I never want to go anywhere and I've tried explaining how this DD affects me and I just can't handle much social interaction.

    The sad thing is I have improved alot in the past couple of years but I think he already had it in his mind to leave so it didn't matter. I've never done the AD's but I do use xanax if I feel I can't cope with a situation and it helps me alot.

  9. onedaysoon

    onedaysoon New Member

    Hi Rena, I can't write much now but I know exactly how you feel! I hope the warm weather help you. HUGS!
  10. RENA0909

    RENA0909 New Member

    Thank you all so much for your replies.I feel better knowing I am not alone in this hermit like existence.

    I went to the day time party yesterday but did not stay long!!!It is so strange because I dont feel very comfortable in company any more even though I knew everybody there.I feel awkward... as though I have nothing to talk about and have no confidence.
    And I used to be the funniest person I know lol!

    I dont really even ring anyone for a chat now where as I used to be glued to the phone.Nothing to say and cant be bothered now.I sound like a right old miserable old bat!!!!

    Take care