I feel like a hypochondriac

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by spatialbean, Jun 2, 2003.

  1. spatialbean

    spatialbean New Member

    I read the posts here and I have had almost everything that people mention. I just read a post about eye problems, I have them all. Photophobia, floaters, pain when I look far up, dizziness when I move my eyes too fast, dizziness when I look at patterns, inability to track lines when I read a book (that is also an ADD thing I think). There is also another part of me that is so happy to find that all the things I have experienced fall under one heading, and they are recognized, by some, as a legitimate syndrome.

    Oh, I am getting myself all upset. A friend asked me yesterday when I was going back to work. I lied. I lied to a good friend of mine. I couldn't tell her that I have applied for disability. I think because there is a nagging part of me that says I am a weenie, that I am weak, and that everyone feels like I do, and there is nothing wrong with me. Another friend called yesterday. I had just gotten out of bed around 11 am. He asked, "What do you have planned for today?" I said, "I am just going to have a rest day." He cracked up, like "how could someone who sits on her behind every day need REST???"

    Why is it that we have good friends, who understand and support us, but the butt heads are the ones we listen to?

    Love,
    Claudia
    [This Message was Edited on 06/03/2003]
  2. Princessraye

    Princessraye New Member

    I sometimes feel that way too, seems something new is always wrong.............but I am know I am not one.
    I tell those stories too sometimes...........who wants to say oh I hope I can get the laundry done that would be a great accomplishment ??????????

    The next time someone asks something like that maybe you could say I know that seems funny to you that I could sit on my butt all the time and still need to rest, but it's not funny..........this is what I am living with and it's very hard.

    Sometimes I try to explain and sometimes I tell the stories and get off the phone quick. Every Monday at work people ask what did you do this weekend and I don't want to say rested so I could drag my butt in here but that is what I did.

    Such a fun life !

  3. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Hi Claudia,

    People just don't understand. I posted a letter to normals that someone else wrote. Maybe you should give it to him. People, IMO, don't understand that we
    get tired FROM DOING NOTHING- while they get tired
    from doing a lot!

    I am glad you mentioned reading books. I find that I can't read without a bookmark (plain of course) under
    each line. I love to read but don't do it often. It's hard
    to digest books unless they are easy reading.

    Princess, I just don't know how you do it! I feel for
    you. I couldn't work if my life depended on it. I remember before my FMS diagnosis and before
    my back surgery when I dragged myself to work
    for months with numb legs and feet and a sore
    back. I sat on a phone book. I asked to skip lunch
    so I could come home one hour earlier. I came
    home and lied down all the time I wasn't working.
    Nights, weekends, etc. It was horrible. I was
    fired (by a boss who almost was obsessed with
    me) when he found out that I had to be out of work
    for two weeks flat on my back. Too bad it turned out
    to be 14 years. I just want you to know I admire you.
    I am single like you but I have a very supportive
    family and couldn't haven't survived without them.
    Have been on SSDI for 13 years. I wish you could
    find a solution to help yourself without having
    to work so much.

    Take Care,
    Lynn
  4. Princessraye

    Princessraye New Member

    It is very hard but it is great to know that someone (you) really understands what it is like. I have been doing this 16 years and just keep getting worse.
    I just had an email from a friend saying how she wakes up with pain everyday but you just have to go on.
    They just don't undetstand. Believe me if my father was still alive I would be living at home and working part time or applying for disibility. My mom can't have me where she lives or she would take me and my brother doesn't realize how bad it is.
    I hope their is an end to our misery soon.
    Take care
    [This Message was Edited on 06/03/2003]
  5. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    I am glad that my words meant something to you.
    It's nice to know I can be good for something! LOL

    My father died before I was diagnosed with FMS.
    However, my back laid me up for years prior to the
    diagnosis. It was hard for me because the day we
    returned from the hospital after he died, I received
    my lump sum check for SSDI - which I had wanted
    to give to him. I ultimately gave it to my mother.
    The timing was awful though. My ssdi lawyer
    called me to ask for his sum (god he got alot and I had done all the work and basically handed it to him).
    I was crying and told him my father just died and he
    said something like oh, god and hung up. I then
    received a letter from him asking for his share.
    These people are so insensitive.

    I feel guilty though because my mother would like
    to move. We live in a huge house that is too much
    for either one of us. However, she is very attached to
    it because of my father. She wants to move into
    elderly housing and knows that I don't. She reallly
    isn't up to moving because it would kill us physically
    to do it. I don't know if I can stand the thought of
    moving into elderly housing at age 41.
    Gosh, there is a gorgeious assisted living place here.
    Beautiful. So expensive. My mother is a very young
    71 - she looks 50. I really can't see either one of us
    living there. Maybe if we both feel better we should
    do it. My neighbor here has a hot tub though!!!!!

    Take Care,
    Lynn
  6. Princessraye

    Princessraye New Member

    I know what it is like to feel useless but none of us are. There is something we can give.

    My mom lives in elderly housing and loves it, but I can't stay there.
    She is a young 76 but also has fibro so really knows what I am going through.

    Assisted living is really expensive but very nice if one can do it!

    You and mom take care. Nice that you have one another !
  7. Applyn59

    Applyn59 New Member

    Princess,

    I am qualified due to my disability.
    I am glad that you and your mother can understand
    each other. It sure does help.
    You take care, too.
    Lynn
  8. spatialbean

    spatialbean New Member

    you could have someone come in to help?

    Love,
    Claudia