I FEEL LIKE I'M READY TO JUST GIVE UP

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by CATLADY912, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. CATLADY912

    CATLADY912 New Member

    As of yesterday I'm now at a point that I just want to give up and stay in bed the rest of what life I have left. I have fighting and pushing myself since 1993 when I learned I had a severe back problem that caused me allot of pain, but I would push myself and not give up. Now as of the DX of fibro in Nov 2002 I have more back pain which seems to get worse and all these other symptoms. I'm tired of pushing myself and seems to get me no where. I can only now complete one task a day before I feel give out and if I push I hurt worse. I'm tired of these flare ups which now I have been in one for a few months and I can't get into physical therapy till this coming thursday. Today i just feel washed out and I'm waiting for the pain to just get worse today. The pain now is getting where I feel like just crying. I lost allot of weight to help myself and still have the pain. I try to watch what I eat and still have the pain. I take a anti-depressant and maybe its just the blue's I feel from pushing myself so much with no results.
    I really don't want to give up but I'm just so tired of of pushing myself to get up every day. I'm tired of the pain and all those other fibro symptoms.
    I brought a book called FULL CATASTROPHE LIVING, using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness. Now I just have to try and make myself read it.

    WHAT DO ANY OF YOU DO WHEN AND IF YOU EVER FEEL THIS WAY.
    ANY ADVICE WOULD PROBABLY HELP RIGHT NOW.

    AND THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO ANSWERED MY POST ABOUT WATER THERAPY WHICH I CAN TAKE AFTER MARCH 20TH.

    DOWN AND OUT,
    JANICE
  2. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I am so sorry, you are feeling so discouraged. I was diagnosed just a few months prior to you. I feel like this often, too. There are many bad days, when you just wonder how long you can tolerate this stuff, and why? for pete's sake. One thing, I have discovered though, in this period of time, though, is that there is a tendency for this to wax and wane. If you can just hold on through the bad parts....a good or better days will come. Sometimes they are not long in duration, but they give you a chance to catch your breath, and enjoy.
    Don't try to push yourself so hard--it if makes you hurt worse...you are not doing yourself any good. If you only get one task accomplished a day, during the bad times--or heck, even if you get nothing accomplished at all--that's okay.
    I know exactly what you are saying when you say, you are doing all the right things, and it seems to no avail! Sometimes I feel like that too---and would just like to chunk the lot of it out the door, meds, supplements, herbs, and vitamins. Then I wonder though, how I REALLY might feel with out them, lol! It could be worse, so I grab the bag and start swallowing.
    I have been going through a long flare too---it really
    S#@!*cks! Just try to do something quiet that you can enjoy, and be extra good to yourself. You really don't have anything earth shattering to do today.....the most important thing you can do is take good care of yourself, rest, don't push and, remember....better days lay ahead.
    Best wishes LL
  3. HURTSALOT2

    HURTSALOT2 New Member

    Janice, I have these feelings quite often and here is what I do when I feel at an all time low. I grab one of my picture albums loaded with pictures of happy times and many, many pictures of my grandchildren. It does not take away the pain, but it helps me focus on something which makes me smile and I began to feel a mild relief. I look at older pictures and compare them to the newest pictures. How they change in just one year when they are toddlers. We will have grandbaby number four in October.

    I feel that I will never give up, although it is not a terminal illness, it can certainly feel that way sometimes. We are the lucky ones to be able to say, yes I have a non-cureable disease, but at least it is not terminal. We all have so much to live for. Everytime I see my little smiling grandbabies it makes me want to be around forever. I want to be able to see them grow into adults and someday have children of their own. Hopefully soon a cure will be found for FM and we can all enjoy the quality of life we once had.

    Janice, do it today. Go get your albums, sit down, relax,
    look at the pictures and enjoy. Take care, I wish
    you the best.
    Sincerely,
    HURTSALOT2




    [This Message was Edited on 03/02/2003]
  4. Dlebbole

    Dlebbole New Member

    Hi Janice

    I think feeling this way is a very normal reaction to this illness. All of us probably feel this way at times, some more than others. I've been sick since the mid 80s. I feel like I've been through it all - multiple chemical sensitivity, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and now, cancer.

    WHile it seems that there is no "cure" for us, one thing that I prayed for the most from the beginning was some feeling of CONTROL. Early on, I had a tentative diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis, and I felt helpless. Control for me is the biggest issue. I like to feel like I have some small amount of impact on how all this goes. And I believe I do. There are so many things to try - almost too many! But through the years I have learned that a small proportion of those things really do help! It is a matter of finding those things. When I'm at a low (which I have been many, many times) I usually cry as much as I need to, then make a list of all the things I haven't tried yet. The list is very long. I pick one thing, and give it a go....Please don't give up the control that you do have. Scan these boards, find something you haven't tried and try it - carefully, of course. I wish you success in finding that "magic pill" FOR YOU. We CAN influence the course of this disease. I really believe it for me and for you. Diane
  5. LITEFLAMES

    LITEFLAMES New Member

    Hi Janice,
    Oh Girl I Can compleatlie relate to you'r pain , Not My back but my knee's , I went to my ortho Dr ,AND DEManded , He Due Knee replacment's ,I'm not old enof he said , I Said listen I Don't plain on living long enof to get 2 replacment's ,,,Anyway I do know the unbearable pain, The way I explaned ,My Flare ups to my husband is ,I could go in my room & God Could call me home!!!!! And he know's
    If i said that , i must be in horrable Pain,
    But !!!!!! We all have thing's to live for , Janice pnce you get to water theraphy it will help you Greatly, just a couple of thing's to know for Fm Pt,The water need's to be 100 degree's , I thought no way ,But it's true second ,Make sure you'r thearapest Is very well versed in are DD, Also don't let them puss you to mush at first ,I'm blessed my therapest is also my yoga teacher & Know's me well. some day's when wiped out , she'll put me in a contraption , its floaty's that my arms go throw ,a waist belt ,I lay back ,then they;ll put floaties under you'r leg's and just let you float ,its GREAT BECUSE IT mAKES YOU'R BODY WAITLESS
    sO IT GETS HEATED REST !!! aLSO , i DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FELL ABOUGHT PAIN KILLERS , BUT MY DR PUT ME ON OXI ,wITCH SAT IN MY CUBERD FOR 4 DAY'S i WAS SO AFRAID TO TAKE THEM WELL WE'V HAD TO ADJUST MY DOAGE , BUT , MY LIFE IS sO MUCH BETTER!!!! i fINALY HAVE SOME CONTROLE OVER WHAT i GET TO DO ,, aND CAN DO SO MUCH MOOR , AND FOR US ,JUST BEING ABLE TO MAKE -R- HOUSE'S CLEAN IS A MAJORE THING , aND jUST LAST WEEK ,i WAS IN ONE OF MY WORST FLARE UP'S EVER OF CORSE FROM DOING TO MUCH, bUT i WILL TELL YOU IF I DIDN'T HAVE THE HELP OF THAT PILL , i PROBLIE WOULD OFF .JUMPED OF A CLIFF, ALSO , MY DR MADE ME UNDERSTAND , i'M TAKING IT FOR PAIN MANGEMENT ,i THOUGHT I WOULD JUST TAKE IT WHEN I WAS IN A FLARE , SHE SAID NO,, wE WAN'T TO STOP THE PAIN FROM COMING IN THE FIRST PLACE, sO I TAKE IT IN THE MORNING AND AGAINE AROUND 7 -8 AT NIGHT , THEN A SLEEPING AD AROUND 10 PM . i STILL WAKE UP TWICE A NIGHT , BUT ITS SO MUCH BETTER , ALSO ONE OTHER THING , i RESENTLY WENT BACK TO MY KNEE DR , THE OXI HELPED W/ ALL PAIN EXEPT MY KNEE SEAMED WORSE , sO I ASKED HIM ABOUGHT IT , HE SAID ITS BECUSE ITS A INFLAMITORY (SPELLING)PROBLIM , SO I HAD A MRI DONE STILL WAITING FOR RESULT'S , BUT HE GAVE ME CORTIZONE , WITCH HAS HELPED TO SOME DEGREE, i THINK IT'S ALL ABOUGHT , FINDING THE RIGHT COMBO FOR YOU , NOONE DESERVES TO LIVE IN PAIN!!aND I DO UNDERSTAND , IF IT HADENT BEEN FOR ALL MY KIDS & FAMILY , I WOULD OF CHEACKED OUT !!aND THAT'S NOT WHAT gOD WANT'S FOR US , i WISH YOU FAST RESULTS , HANG IN THEAR LADY , IT HAS TO GET BETTER , gOD BLESS YOU ,i HOPE i hELPED YOU SOME
    CINDY
  6. Nonie04412

    Nonie04412 New Member

    HI Catlady. I have been where you are many times in the last 10 years or so. Its been a long journey to get to the opoint of acceptence. You don't ( and won't) have to like it, but you have to accept it and go on. I have fibro, thyroid disease, arthritis, diabetes,crohns disease,cf, mfp,and sciatica from a buldging disk in my lower back. I have also been on prozac for over 10 years. I had to give up a nursing career that I loved lost my mother and for the first time in my life I had to live by myself.( I am 55 ).
    I do know how you feel. Please listen. Giving up means IT WINS. I will not let it win. I am just so stubborn sometimes ! I am not going to tell you its easy. Its not, but I really enjoy my life . This may seem trite , but you have to find something to laugh at. Laugh alot and often. It is very tereputic . Laughing releases endorphines into the blood stream. They are natural pain killers produced by the brain. The Bible says that laughter doth good like a medicine. And its true. It isnn't always easy to do this, but really give it a try. I have found many things online to laugh at, therre are tons of sites with humor. Please , please don't give up. If you want you can write to me at: nonie04412@aol.com.
    {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
    Linda
  7. kuntryhart

    kuntryhart New Member

    Janice,
    I know how it is when you feel like you can't take anymore and you just want to check out. Don't push when you feel like this, there's no need to when you know you will only suffer for it. Be your own Best Friend. Pamper yourself today to help you feel worthwhile. Fix yourself something that you love to eat ( just this once won't hurt, adn you won't eat this every day),and maybe haven't had in a while, put your feet up, or whatever position is the most comfortable and watch your favorite TV program or movie. If you feel like going to bed, then do it. Relax. Don't worry about anyone else, Take care of yourself for a change. Hope you feel better soon. Warm, soft hugs to you. Donna 0:)