I feel like Job!!

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Catbowes, Aug 30, 2004.

  1. Catbowes

    Catbowes New Member

    Hi Everyone,
    I'm new to this board, but have posted a few times on Fibro board. I am a Christian and have been reading my Bible and praying. I'm suffering from major depression and they(Drs.) can't seem to get it under control, I'm also a cutter. I haven't worked for 15 months was denied SS and am waiting for a hearing. I feel that one of my main problems with the depression besides all of the pain is my husband. He has not supported me the way I need him to plus we did't have a very good marriage before my illness. I want to leave, but have no where to go and no money. I know as a Christian I am supposed to stay in my marraige until death do us part, but my mind tells me if I don't find a way out I'm going to go crazy or worst. Please respond with advice and prayers.

    In Christian love,
    Catbowes
  2. Catbowes

    Catbowes New Member

    Dear Dixie,
    Thank you for answering my message. I cried when I read it. I was so touched to read such a concerned response and truly caring prayer from someone I don't even know. I believe God's hand is surely on this message board. I also believe he lead me to it today.

    I really don't have anywhere to go, I wish I did. I would like to get away from my situation for awhile, but I would have to return to it and most of the time that is even harder than just sticking it out.

    You asked me if I told my husband what I needed from him and I did. He doesn't have a clue as to how to give me the love and tenderness that I so desire.

    When I first became ill I would be crying with pain and depression and he would stand beside me and scream at me that he didn't know what to do and what was he supposed to do about it, that I was just going to have to deal with it.
    After I quit work he was quite upset with me and still makes comments about me going back and that I would probably feel better if I did. He just doesn't get it!!

    I really don't feel that he knows how to truly care about another person. I told my psychiatrist that my husband doesn't support me, his answer was well he brings you to your appts. it seems to me that that is supporting you.

    Well, anyway I will continue to pray for God's guidance in this matter and pray that the devil in my head goes far away I can't stand the torment!!

    Thank you again Dixie for your beautiful reply.
    God Bless You
    Cat
  3. helpeachother

    helpeachother New Member

    Hi Catbowes, My boss (now he's retired and im on "permanent disability" (so far 8 years out)used to say that my life reminded him of Job. This was before I even went off the job on disability. But, what I would humbly suggest to you are three things;

    ONE, remember that even Job got an earthly break at the end of his sufferings

    TWO, pray really pray to God for guidance, peace and that your husband will undertand either your suffering, your need or your disability. The guidance and peace He gave me enabled me to take the next step along the route of drs, meds, houses, financial decisions, and probably millions of more helpful hands I dont even know about (or certainly cant remember).

    THREE, try to educate your husband with reading materials and books/articles. It's a shame that we have to beg end beg our loved ones and drs to understrand and help us, but we do, and it hurts, I know that. Please try to forgive your husband (over and over every day) for hurting you.

    Good luck and I pray that God will comfort you. Peace.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/30/2004]
  4. grge

    grge New Member

    I am praying that God will lift the depression from you. I find that there are times i feel completely overwhelmed, I have fm but just when it seems I've gone my limit God comes barreling in with a last minute answer that opens doors and hearts.

    I pray that God will open your husbands' eyes and heart, That our Lord God will make a path for you and your husband that He will touch both your hearts and fill them with love and understanding.

    I ask in the name of Jesus for healing of body spirit and marriage.

    georgia
    [This Message was Edited on 08/31/2004]
  5. helpeachother

    helpeachother New Member

    Hey Dixie, you posted a really wonderful prayer for cat seven posts up this string for cat. God is with you. :))))

    Hey Cat, I borrowed Dixie's prayer and sincerely said it from my heart to our God for you. Good Luck. Peace
    [This Message was Edited on 08/31/2004]
  6. helpeachother

    helpeachother New Member