I feel like someone is sitting on my chest. NOT fun

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Dec 28, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Just so you know I am sick of coughing up junk and still having a tight cough. I started with losing my voice and sounded like an old gravely person. I was coughing so hard that I felt like I was going to lose what food I had eaten. Then I started to cough up green mucus in small amounts. {SORRY this is so gross. I just wanted to let you know what is happeing to me}

    Now my chest hurts with each cough and pretty well all the time. I am coughing so hard that it really makes me hurt from the front of my chest clear through to my back. Also I still am coughing up stuff, I feel like someone is sitting on my chset and who ever is doing that can get off it NOW!.
    I am running a fever around 99.2 { Normal body temp is 96.5 has been that low for years most of my life.} This for me is a HIGH fever. I have talked to my doctors and one has said that i have the same gomboo that everyone else does and unless my temp goes over 102 not to worry about it. NO one gets it that my body temp is really low all the time but it does not seem to matter to any doctors that I know of.

    Now my throat is hurting and is sore. I am not hungry and not eating as much but that is ok with me as I could stand to lost some weight. I am under alot of stress right now, one daughter is expecting a baby on Jan 19th but she is dialating now and has had contractions ten minutes apart for the last 4 days so she could have the baby any time.

    Then my other daughter is in the process of miscarring her first baby and does now want to talk about it and she does not want me to cry over this or be upset that she is going through this trauma,she feels that If I cry about this I will make it all about how I feel not how she feels and she is the one who is going through this not me. I am not to show any emotions about this as I am not the one going through the trauma of losing a baby.

    I was caught crying the other night about this and I was told by my middle daughter that this is what her sister meant about me makeing it about me. I lost my cool and yelled at her telling her that I had a right to cry because first this is my daughter who is suffering , in pain both emotioal and phyical and I am the grandmother of this unborn child so I have a right to mourn the loss of a child I will never get to know, or hold ,have any time with .

    I said taht I am not making this about me but as a mother I don't like seeing my children in pain and I had been told in one day that she was expecting and losing it at the same time.I wanted to be happy that I was going to have another grandchild but then to learn in the same breath that she is losing it hurts. I hurt , I will miss this little one , not having the time to get to know , and teach , fall in love with and cuddle with and so much more.

    SO yes I have a right to cry over this but no I won't show the daughter who is going through this trauma that I am upset as she asked me to not make a big deal over it. I will cry alone and greive when I feel like it. NO one but me needs to know that I am crying about this

    Does not one get it I too am involoved with the loss of this baby that will not be born. As a mother I don't want my kids to have to go through things like this for if I could I would suffer this for her.But I can't so I have to cope with this the only way I can.

    I am a grandma all ready, this daughter has stated before that her kids if she had any would not be loved as much as the first grandson is or as much as the first granddaughter will be.

    She feels that everyone will love the first one far more than any of hers , they will not get the same amount of attention , or the same money spent on toys for them. I know that she feels like she didn't get things like she needed or wanted.

    But I can't change the past.What she does not know is that I want her to have a child , whom I would love just as much and want as much as any of my grandbabies. I want them all and love them all. Why does she not understand that?

    So here I sit sick with what ever this crud is and feeling like I have been flattened by a mack truck, I am tired , hurting, stressed, worried, upset, feel rotten,trying to not take as much of my strong pain meds as I may not have a pain doctor before I get my scripts refilled{ Doctor has legal problems}.

    So I started the month trying to take less of my MScontin but you can't just stop taking it you have to wean off a high does to a lower dose . Slowly. And I am trying to get to a lower dose so if I have to find a new doctor he won't have a heart attack when I tell him what I take as well as the dose I take.

    I am taking MScontin 100mgs 4x, MSIR 30 4x, Soma 350 x 4, as the month has gone on I started relizing that I was taking less on my own most days. So I am trying to keep it up taking 3 pills a day . I will take the other if I need it. But I started taking less a couple of months ago. Just now and then depending on how bad the pain is.

    Just so you know I have Fibro, degeneritive disc disease, facet syndrome, buldging discs, spinal stenosis, radiulopathy of the thorsic /lumbar spine, osteoarthritis in both knees, osteoarthitis in my left wrist,pain in tail bone, CMP, asthma, chronic chostochronditis.

    I think I am falling apart. I just don't work right. But I am doing the best that I can for what I have. I have applied for disabilty and have to have my knees x-rayed in a few days because the Disability asked me to do it.
    Sorry for the disertation of my life. I really didn't mean for this to be so long. I know that it may not be able to read it all as it is a book.
    Thanks for your time.
    HUGS,
    Rosemarie

  2. TKE

    TKE New Member

    ....as I read your post I felt ...How dare she or anyone else tell you how to feel?? I mean this is such CRAP!!!!! I'm sorry you have to go thru this. I have no kids, but I know the loss of any living thing we connect with is horrible/stressful & traumatizing. So go ahead & cry all you want.

    >>i have the same gomboo that everyone else does <<

    3 years ago I caught a virus that mimicked pneumonia. I coughed hard non-stop for 4 days & finally went to the ER. I couldn't bring anything up. I couldn't eat, sleep, even talk. I was wheezing so bad they couldn't even hear my heart. Anyway these thpes of virus's can take months even years to recover from. I was put on asthma meds, anti-biotics & even had a second round of anti-biotics before I felt better. They rx'd me meds to stop the coughing, but they didn't help much, so my family doc rx'd Hydrocodone & it shut down the coughing. I also took the OTC product called Musinex, which worked better than anything else I tried.

    You need to shut down this coughing, as it can cause you to pull chest, back & rib muscles & even heart muscles if you cough to hard & too long. These types of virus's can also cause lung scaring. it took me a good year to finally get over this.

    Take care,
    Toy