I feel so all alone

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MissRachel, Aug 14, 2003.

  1. MissRachel

    MissRachel New Member


    I don't even know where to strat.
    I have FM for 8 years now with a fairly supportive husband. Recently we took in a boarder (his friendAL) to help out with the money lost due to my inability to work. It seems to be working out ok , except for Al invalidating m ost thing that I say. He tlaks down to and thinks he is the smartest piece of information know to God. My husband will sometime back him up, which leaves me feel usuless. The other night my husband told me that I don't contribute in anyway. EXCUSE ME!! I do laundry, bathroom, bedroom..everything but the kitchen and after doing allthat I am completely exaused. We've been having money problems and it looks like we may loose our house. And I totlly blame myself, because I can't work, and he confirms it. The thing that get me the most is that he said he wasn't as attracted to me anymore because I gained weight. I use to be 90 lbs and now i'm 150. What a blow. I cried so much that I think I'm goung into a flare. Hehad the nerve to ask if we could have sex the same night he insulted my. None of my clothes fit, I try no to look in the mirror below the waste and even search out eating disorder pages to learn some tricks!. Or if I take enough pills, maybe that will staopthis misery. I have old friends comming this week end and I am embrassed to see them because of the weight gain.

    I have lost everything and really don't have anything left to hold on to, except my cats.

    I already take antidrepresants and they are not working!

    Please send me your prays,

    Sadly yours,
  2. wle

    wle New Member

    Dear Rachel, I am sure your hubby is talking out of frustration - due to the money problems. Sounds like Al is your biggest problem though. IF you must have a border maybe you should consider someone else. Men are so insensitive. I don't think they even realize when they hurt our feelings. My hubby and I had this discussion just last evening. He made me so MAD! And then looked at me all inocient and said What???????.....Told him if I thought his little pea brain would understand what he had done I would tell hiom but since we had been through it before I wasn't going to waist my breath. Now this is the man I adore above all else. Doesn't mean we can't have our differences once in a while. Money problems, health problems, an extra person in the house - all add up to stress for both of you. Maybe yous could see a counsler....or talk to your priest or minister. (and unless you are 3 feet tall 150 can't be that FAT!!! and if your friends love you it won't matter if you are)
  3. wle

    wle New Member

    Bump - gotta go for now - hope you get many more responses Rachel............................................WLE
  4. stillfighting

    stillfighting New Member


    You should not have to put up with this psychological abuse! Recognize this reaction for what it is--you have done nothing wrong, but are unable to do things you once did because of a physical illness. You need to assert yourself on this point, and work it out with your husband (if he is worth keeping around). And get rid of this boarder--he is just plain toxic!

    For yourself, you need to seriously work on your self esteem, and don't rely so much on others to validate your worth as a person. Start by taking time out every day to list specific things about yourself that make you a good person (no negatives). It may help to see a psychologist who does cognitive behavioral therapy if you aren't able to do this on your own.

    Good luck with this one--and take a cue from the cats--they KNOW they're good, and nobody can tell them otherwise!

  5. fibrodoll

    fibrodoll New Member

    Hi Rachel, I sent you hugs and let you know you're not alone.

    I have a wonderful supportive husband and he happens to like all my curves! Even he can be insensative(sp) and whenever he is I just tell him off. We've been married 19 yrs and it's worked so far.

    I think you ought to tell him off, do the same for Al. They may not "get it" but it will help you get everything off your chest. Just don't put everything on yourself, it sounds like you do the best you can. I can't manage all the cleaning you do, so you're way ahead of the game as far as I'm concerned.

    Bye for now and take care!!! Valerie