I forgot

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by azmiranda, Nov 26, 2011.

  1. azmiranda

    azmiranda Member

    I forgot how hard the holiday season is for a person with fibromyalgia. Every year it is the same thing but for some reason this year it is hitting me even harder. I don't have the energy to even think let alone shop, in a week my son will be home from college so I will have to be trying to be "happy". I know I sound depressed I am not I am just sick of this disease, sick of watching all my normal friends shop all day then go to parties that night when I can't even imagine doing one of those things let alone both all in one day. I have no relationship any longer because I can't find a man that will put up with my disease...they always leave saying "it's not you it's me". Whatever...there is a really good bargain I would love to go purchase today and I don't even have the energy to drive to the store let alone go in and buy it. Does anyone else feel this exhausted this time of the year?
  2. luigi21

    luigi21 Member

    i've had a bad year altogether really azmiranda. living with fibro isn't easy full-stop. but yeah xmas' and times of celebration are difficult because sometimes you just feel more issolated from 'normal.' i'm on my own, my family dont understand either, ive watched 7 years pass by to this condition, i mean full blown fibro. you go through the well i would have been in a relationship by now, had kids etc, we all kind of expect to have achieved something by a certain age. i know the trying to act happy thing, crikey thats an effort. i have no plans for xmas this year, wont be surprised if i end up on my own, i mean im invited places, but you sometimes feel the unlife and notsoul of the party. expectations are hard things to live up to. so i suggest, which is what i do, purchase a few little 'pick me up' bargains on the bidding sites, its nice to look forward to things coming through the post. dvds, books, cd's, gifts for yourself. two days and xmas will be over, everyone will see what they bought before xmas for half price in the january sales, and will be running out like headless chickens to buy more, we are a weird breed us humans! well weird, or bonkers.

    all the best, keep in touch.
  3. luigi21

    luigi21 Member

    P.S at least your not out walking into your 50th shop and hearing the same xmas song for the 50th time, now that can drive you mad.
  4. luigi21

    luigi21 Member

    Hats off to you, 33 years! i got full blown fibro at 30 after whiplash injury, im now 37, but they believe from looking at previous medical history ive had pre-xisting symptoms since i was 14, (although my mother says i complained of body pains when i was very young).

    Anyway, always nice to get a few tips from people that have managed fibro as long as yourself and not gone mad, i haven't had an easy time of it even before fibro, the fibro has just made life even more issolating.

    that said my views have changed since having it about most things in life, i use to be a big people pleaser, and people could guilt trip me very easily, now ive hid my suitcase they can't take me on those kind of trips anymore!

    Each year has been different, looking back think my 3rd year was the easiest, this one has been the worst, but then had a lot of stressful things happen this year, family disagreements, estranged from immediate family due to manipulative sister so havent seen my niece and nephews that i helped her bring up, for over a year now, absolutely gutted, i held and rocked them as babies no matter how painful my shoulder spasms. became homeless in june due to a drug dealer threatening my life after he was raided, so been bouncing from one family members couch to another, got rushed hospital with severe allergic reaction, thought to be to dental treatment. still am homeless and looking for a place, staying with parents but at 37 it aint easy. the drug dealer got off even though they found evidence of cultivating weed, and other class A substances. the landlord was involved so its really complicated.

    We have a strong survival instinct in us lot i tell ya, even when the chips are down and there feels like theres no fight left, suffering pain everyday let alone insomina, and chronic fatigue we are some of the bravest people i believe, because we get diagnosed with a non curable illness that we have to live with for the rest of our lives. stress dont help it though, friends and family could really help us out if they bothered to understand, i cant help but get a little annoyed and impatience when some of them moan about there pains, i think you have no idea! and they dont because if we was to moan about our pain and symptoms we'd be at it 24/7 and because we've learned that gets you no where, we just suck it up and get on with it.

    i've tried most medications for fibro, if you want to know just ask. books have been helpful, awareness by antony de mello, john bradshaw homecoming, women that run with the wolves, nearly every book on fibromyalgia, they all mainly say the same thing.

    i journal to get rid out pent up emotion, and to sort my head out. i write what i need to do for the followng day, put my alarm on my mobile when cooking, keep a calendar, light exercise with pilates ball (only after warm heat pads or bath to relax muscles and use my massage pad or a rubber ball inside a pair of tights (to stop ball from falling, like a squash size, though little rubber childrens balls are quite good) then put the ball between you and the wall and you can massage you neck, shoulders, back, and bottom by rolling the ball over these areas using the wall and holding onto the stockings.

    emmm......if you wake frequently in the night it could be due to drop in body temp even if you feel hot, take your temperature, get checked for thyroid, if that ok, then put your heat pad on (mine has a timer) or get up for a while and have a warm drink. sometimes waking in the night can also be due to drop in sugar levels. or it can just be down to pain dont suffer take some meds if the heat dont work. yeah thats all i can think of for now, em i use my mp3 player sometimes at night to listen to some relaxing tunes, or read.

    i am having a tough time at moment, im low, trying to pull myself out of it, hoping it will pass, be glad for any helpful tips from anyone else reading this page.

    all the best,
  5. sascha

    sascha Member

    thank you.

    last year my family came for Christmas. we had nine people here. i started preparing with single-minded determination months in advance. endless lists, getting in supplies, readying the house. i have cfids--it was SO HARD. my son helped very much and kind of took over when people got here. i love them but the effort was way beyond me. they don't know this.

    i am so GLAD that no one is coming this year. i can't do it. a cousin asked to come and stay a week with her husband and a son and we said, sorry, can't do it at this time. there are financial reasons, but i just dread that obligation of pushing myself to do what i cannot do anymore. i felt i had no choice, but realized when the brakes came on; my entire being screeched to a halt at the thought of all it would entail getting ready and hosting company, i had to say no. i must protect myself and the small sliver of functioning i have left. it is toooooooooo hard for me. i suffer consequences i am no longer willing to pay. it absolutely takes over my life long before, during, and for a long time after.

    i'm so glad we can talk about such things here. i have such ancient family guilt associated with this issue. family is SUPPOSED to always say yes yes a thousand times yes. but now i have cfids and more and more my response is no no a thousand times no.

    luigi- oh my goodness yes- the journaling. really struck a chord with what you wrote. i journal daily. it is a necessity for me to get my mind cranking. it gets me so i can figure things out for myself and do problem-solving i need to do. otherwise i seem too vague to get at any thought or action. it is repetitive- i check back on an entry a year ago and it can be almost exactly the same as today's entry. but not all the time. sometimes i go deep with it and it seems to advance my understanding to new level. i get revelations. make connections. i wouldn't give it up, it helps me so much.

    i realize how fortunate i am in some respects. i can see my two small grandchildren. i can do some activities at times. i have to oh-so-carefully pace myself and i have many and regular stretches of time of pain, illness, and non-functioning. i really feel the losses you who've had to give up so much experience. i feel it deeply for you. there is a lot i've permanently given up. i am profoundly grateful for whatever remains.

    thank you all for sharing. very meaningful posts here. best to all- sascha