I got thru the weekend..but...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Suzan, Sep 16, 2007.

  1. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    Monday morning...the first week in my new home...
    All has gone pretty well...we are settling in...and it is nice to have less stress..


    'HE" showed up here Saturday afternoon..somewhat unexpectedly...Said he was coming Friday at 4..and didn't show...no call or message...Then he showed up...I didn't see him..BUT he put the boys in the place of discomfort...said he wouldn't leave without taking the car..and leaving the truck for me...'promised' that he would swap back in 2 weeks..

    Both the boys tried to stand up to him but to no avail...finally I relented..and said ok. I think just to protect my sons, they wanted him to leave so badly.
    I am kicking myself now..the muffler was hanging on by a thread...and the fan ( that I just had fixed..) wasn't working either. Now I have a truck..that "he' said I should just go fix...I have emailed the atty....I am NOT likely to fix the truck...The boys are kicking themselves a bit too.

    VERY STRESSFUL...then my daughter came...Great to see my grandson..but hard to deal with her. She is saying she is supportive of me..but doesn't want to hear any negativity...Hard to talk to her about much that is in my life right now...But..at least we talked.

    The good news...is Sunday, James and Jessaca and Brian and I watched some football..we are ALL fans..so that was fun...We made some food..and cheered for our teams...and enjoyed a cool fall football day in WI.

    The new girlfriend really got plunged into a mess ...but she is doing a great job of being supportive..offering to help in any way she can...and generally being a joy to have around. James seems to have found the 'right' girl...at this point I hope that she is 'the one' for him...There is already talk of next year selling this little house..buying a duplex and I will have my space..and they will live together in the other...Seems like a really nice idea to me at this point!

    I am staying strong..and my head is held high..and I feel like I am doing the right thing..finally. So I continue to appreciate your support and good thoughts...and I am glad that at this point..I need them LESS!LOL What happened with the truck..will NEVER happen again. The boys and I are on the same page now..and he won't be able to bully them again.

    Hope you all had a great weekend!

  2. sisland

    sisland New Member

    i've been following your Plight here,,,,The only 2 words that come to mind as i read that your soon to be EX-- Exchanged Vehichles is (Restraining Order!),,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I Can understand why you just let him go with the car to protect the Boy's,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Good Luck Dear!,,Praying for you!,,,,S
    [This Message was Edited on 09/17/2007]
  3. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    if your husband is bullying you and your sons to get his own way then a restraining order will stop him.

    I'm sorry Suzan that you daughter doesn't want to hear any negativity when what you are going through is an extremely negative experience - let's hope when she has her own negative experiences in life that someone will be kind enough to listen to her.

    Your son seems to have found a lovely girl, not many girls would put up with having MIL around so its great that you are all getting along.

    You're doing remarkably well Suzan.

  4. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member


    keep your seat belt on this is going to be a rough ride for a while.....in the meantime I am wondering why you cannot goand get back the car from him?

    I am not by andy means a lawyer but I for the life of me cannot see any judge letting him get away with this......I believe that you will get the "good" car back....

    what is your lawyer telling you about this incident......and what is he doing to help you?

    I know you feel confident with this lawyer and I hope that your feelings are right...I think it is now you will find out if he is as good as we all think he is.....

    I think he needs to step in and take charge of this situation....also the other poster ( sorry forgot who said ) but "RESTRAINING ORDER" sounds like a perfect idea!

    Iam happy that you are settling in and having some good moments.....the good will eventually succeed the bad......we love you, we are here, and I want that "ex" to be a "real" man and give you back the decent vehicle it would be the "right" thing to do .....but we all know he is in all probabliltiy not capable of doing so!

    Hugs and support friend
  5. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    But I did email him and let him know what happened..and I am sure that he will let me know how I should proceed.

    I hope that dh brings the car back in 2 weeks as he told my son he would!

    So now I just will wait to hear from my atty. and go from there!

  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    you are not the only one that has/or had been thru this divorce deal....i am divorced as well...i am proud of you for being so strong and you did the right thing by letting him have the vechile...then emailing your attorney..

    i only know some of california laws...so you could google the state laws in your state if your mind is wandering a wee bit...mine would be...but that is me and my anxiety in life...

    well wishing you a peaceful as can be divorce and a better life in the coming years...

  7. jmq

    jmq New Member

    I have not been on the board much this week so I was so happy and relieved to see your post and hear the move is over and your new life has started.

    Yes, it will not be easy dealing with an ex but I can tell you are strong and have loving sons.

    Let us know what your atty says about the truck issue.

    Stay strong...I am praying for you

  8. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    At this point, he said 'don't fix the truck, let's wait and see if he gives back the car'..so that is what I will do.

    Dh and I had a couple very short email exchanges about bills..and he said again that he will give the car back...so that is a good thing, I HOPE!

    Meanwhile, yesterday I did a walk 1 1/2 blocks to the gas station..and although coming back was harder than walking there...I did it! Had pain afterward, pretty nasty actually, but still it felt good to have accomplished a walk!

    I am staying as busy as my body will let me be, those of you with FM know that is a constant battle ..pacing yourself and still doing things that need doing. But I am trying to do both..get things done and pace myself.

    I am still affected by what used to be...getting dinner on the table...all the routines I have had for years. Now I have to remind myself that I ONLY have to take care of me...and I can CHOOSE to cook for the boys or not...clean or not...rest or not...LOL It is a whole new way for me to think about things. I spent 28 years making sure 'he' was cared for...and letting that mindset go is a constant work in progress for me!

    Atty. said the temporary maintenance order will arrive for me this week to sign...I will mail it back , and it will be filed with the court. So, it will be VERY interesting to see what he sets up for me initially.

    Again thanks for the support...it is helping me stay strong!

  9. Granniluvsu

    Granniluvsu Well-Known Member


    It looks like you are doing all the right things.. Keep it up and do what your lawyer tells you. I hope your XH give you the car back and doesn't try anything. Glad you got a restraining order just in case.

    God Bless and keep working at it. I am sure it will be hard at times buat was for the best fo ryou.

    Big Hugs,

    Granni (Marilyn)