I gotta ask

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sofy, Mar 8, 2003.

  1. sofy

    sofy New Member

    I read about some of you who have small children and even had them after getting sick. This is hard for me to understand cuz fatigue and "the stupids" are my biggest problems. I would never allow myself to be responsible for a child under 5. When the stupids hit I would not trust myself to be able to make an emergency decision. When I am really tired I will drop my toothbrush severl times when cleaning my teeth and have dropped hot cups of tea because my grip just goes away. I have no control over when the tired and stupids come and go. How do you manage if you have small children???????????
  2. jeanderek

    jeanderek New Member

    I have to agree with you. I can't take care of myself most days. I live in an apartment complex and sometimes just hearing my neighbors kids jumping around and stuff puts me on pins and needles. Five years ago when I first started having symptoms my husband and I discussed what it would do to me if we did have children and fortunately for me he is a great man and decided my health was more important than starting a family. He volunteered to have a vasectamy (sp) and I agreed. I had been taking birth control for years and they were starting to cause me problems too so this was the best decision for us. We have talked about adoption but over the years I continued to just get worse so now we are just happy with one another.

  3. shannonrn

    shannonrn New Member

    I have had FM for a bout 8 years and I to thought I would nevr have children b/c I felt so bad. Then one day I said what do I have to lose and I got pregnant. As soon as I found out I stopped taking all of my meds cold turkey (I was on zanaflex, neurotin, serzone, ambien) I didn't have one single ache during my pregnancy (total remission). 8 weeks after I delivered I had the worst flair of my life. It was due to lack of sleep. My son is 8 months old and I have learned to adapt. My husband gets up with him during the night and I sleep till 7am. I also take my meds. Even though it can be exhausting some times and your body feels like it is going to crumble I just look at him and it makes my life complete. There are some days my body is so weak that I have to send him to a relative but its few and far between. When I get the stupids, poor concentration etc. I muddle my way through the day b/c you make a concentrated effort not to do anything stupid. He is the one that keeps me going. Some days I don't have time to think about the pain (which is good) I plan on having at least 1 more if not 2. I hope this makes sense. See ya.
  4. amymb74

    amymb74 New Member

    I had cfids for both. My first was in the beginning - I felt tired, knew something was wrong but was still working & going to school. I had no cognitive problems then. Felt extra good while I was pregnant, a little worse after but within a few months was back to the regular pre-pregnancy fatigue. Then 4 years ago I got pregnant again - by this time I was a little worse off then before, was no longer working but still managing to take a few classes - I felt a little better being pregnant & until my 2nd one was about 2 months old, then I went way downhill - lightheaded all the time, stopped driving, blurry vision, couldn't think etc. etc. & of course the horrible fatigue. I never came out of that - still feel awful daily. I feel bad because my 1st son had like 3/4 of a mom & now both have about 1/10 of a mom. If I knew my health would decline as it did I would only have one child - live & learn I guess. I would never have another now (unless I were cured than I'd love to). But I just take it one day at a time & don't go out of my way or over exert myself for anyone but my boys - If I had no children then I too would wonder how others do it.
  5. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    When I first got Fibo my sons were 6 and 9, my daughter was 3 months old. But I didn't get the 'stupids' for years afterwards! It was the pain that was the problem.

    Then I raised my grandson from 4 weeks old till he was five, I did fine as he was a super good baby, and I did keep him in the playpen till he was two. When I felt bad, I would just put him in the playpen and lay on the sofa and play with him, we understood one another very well, when his parents came to pick him up and he got home he would not stay in the playpen for them at all!!

    He is 16 now, and we are the best of friends. It is hard, but like someone else said, but was worth it all.

    These days, I would not dream of handling a baby, I really don't have the patience, and no way could I lift them without worrying about dropping them! Plus my worst pain has always been in my back, shoulders and chest.

    Thats a choice everyone has to make for themselves. I did have well disiplined kids, and they understood that I was not well, so all went well.

    Shalom, Shirl
  6. Mom2Two

    Mom2Two New Member

    I have 2 small boys ages 3 and 5. They are a total joy and the whole reason I even get out of bed in the morning. I have problems with pain and getting stuff done, but I get through. My dh has been great in this respect. We now have a regular house keeper and the boys are in school and pre-school. My oldest is in Kindergarten so he is only half day and so is my pre-schooler. So, I have my mornings free to lie around and rest. When they come home it is playtime then immediatlely nap time. When they get up it is time for dinner and then bath and bed. Without them I wouldn't ever get up and shower or even go out. It is good for me to see people and greet the world each day. The outdoors has been so gorgeous that I spend a lot of time outside. It rejuvenates me, I cannot even begin to tell you. Although, my wonderful boys are my life. I feel incredibly lucky to have them and have the chance to be their 1 and only special mommy. JMO.