I was diagnosed with cfs almost 7 years ago, it's been a tough time. I needed to move in with my mom beacause I can't work and haven't been getting better. Almost a year ago my mom was diagnosed with ALS (Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, a.k.a Lou Gehrig's Disease). Some of you may have seen an episode of E.R that was about a patient with ALS. It's a Cruel and ruthless illness. Anyway, I am her caregiver and I'm scared out of my mind. What little energy I have goes to her, I am pushing myself further than my body can handle sometimes, but when we have no choice we do what we never thought we could. She's scared of what this illness has in store for her, we both are, but when she cries It takes even more energy from me and I feel like I can't take anymore. Then I feel guilty for not giving more, and I end up crying for hours, alone in my room. I don't know if I'm explaining this well enough, or giving it the right words. I think I just need to be heard. I've got so much fear built up inside I don't know what to do with it all. What am I going to do when she gets worse and worse, I don't know if i can do more than what i'm doing now. I stay up nights pleading to God that I don't think I can do it. And I don't know anymore if he can hear me. I don't know what I need from those of you reading this, maybe just to know I'm not alone, maybe I just needed to unload some of this fear, maybe some of you have been in a situation sort of like this..I don't know. But just knowing I can say stuff like this to people I know care, helps. I do feel a little lighter.. so that's good.