I guess you could call this horriable pain a FLARE

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Dec 4, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have spent thte weekend with my daughter , SIL and grandson, or rather they stayed with us, MY grandson is 8 month old and has a really BAD BAD case of CRoup and has been running a fever for several days but it has almost gone away while they were here. But talk about " I want my MOMMY" " NO Bottle just my MOMMY" She is still nursing him which has been a great thinga as he has not eaten in a week anything solid foods.

    On Saturday night my daughter and her hubby had a reserve party they took me and the baby over to my Mom's to have her help me with the lifting and my oldest daughter lives whith her so she can lift him but he didn't like her and would just scream till grandma {ME} picked him up and walked thefloor with him .

    So I may have made him feel better but now I don't feel so good. My arms really hurt and my left wrist that I shattered a year and a half ago is looking like it is lop sided and swollen up and it hurts so badly and i can't stand to have anything touch it. And then there is my back it feel like someone has taken and placed a jumper cable on my bare skin and hooked it up to a car and reved the engine and I have been zapped and shocked over and over and over.All night long andall day today.

    I did this all my self but i would do it again as I love the branbaby and I knew how miserable he was feeling as He just cryed and cryed and was getting so horse and his cough was getting worse I was getting worried about him I would do anything for my grandson he is just the cutest baby there is and I felt so bad for him. All he wanted was mommy to hold me and to nurse him and old grandma does not have the working equimptment any more.

    then there was the arguement that my oldest daughter had because she didn't get her own way and have everyone come to dinner when they had other plans so she was mad. I am struggeling with the "NEW ME" for all of my life I was the worlds worse house keeper and then we were getting a new home loan and had to have the house aparized and between my husband and I it took two weeks to get this house really nice and clean. So now I haev been keeping it clean, I Pick up everything that is on the floor and throw the junk away and I dont' let anyone leave anything on the floor and it upsets people as I have not been this way before adn they thing that it is going to change and it is not going to change I like having my home clean so that it only takes me 20 minutes to keep it that way.

    And my kids came in the house and the coats , shoes and other things went to the floor and I asked them nicely to pick them up and take them out of my living room as they didn't belong there and i got the strangest look from them like who are you and what have you done with my mom? When they didn't move and pick up their things .

    I told them to pick their junk up and get it out ooof the room and they asked me what was the problem I had never thought about it before and I had to tell them that I have changed and no longer will there be things lift on the floor for them to just leave them, I want my hojme to stay clean adn they are going to pick up there things or they won't have them And the had a fit and thought I was making a big deal out of it.

    What's wrong MOM are you on Crack or something? YOU never care baout what this house looks like so why now? I said that I don't have to tell them how or why I am doing this but I don't want there things left on my floor anymore and I don't like to be told that I am on drugs taht I don't use or ever would and I was not happy that they thought it was funny. I know that they belive that I am always soned because I am so tired and sleepy, but it is not because I have taken too much meds I am just over tired and stressed and hurting and I get tired so much faster now and i dont' feel good. the diease that I have makes my back really hurt and I don't want to have to deal with this pain and having fibro I get so tired so much faster and i will fall alseep as soon as I lay on the couch.

    But it is not that way when I go to bed then my eye's don't shut. Just once I wish that they woulld just believe me that I have pain and that because of it and the problems that I have I hvae make me sleepy, I don't complain aobuta them when they complain about " BE quite BRad has a migraine "when I have asked themt o be quite becase of the pain I am in and it does not matter how I feel just how everyone else feels adn i am sick of it.

    I don't know why now I am so sleepy and I cna go to bed at 10 pm and wake up a few times a night and wake up feeling sleepy and overly tired. All day long. That degenrative disc dieaes is getting wrorse and i am in more andmore pain now and I just want the respect that they should give there mom but they are not goign to do it because I am not acting like the mom does . MOMs don't sleep all day long or have pain all the time .

    GUess what they do to hurt and feel like they ahve been hut by a mack truck. I want understanding from them, I try and respect them and how they are feeling when when i am at the home they live in but at my house I dont' get that respect at all . YOU have always been hurting and in pain and always been taking pain pills so what is do diefferent now? I can't explain it to them becasue they dont' want to hear about it. So I don't say anything about me and how I am feeling or the pain I am in. My SIL's belive that I am in real pain all the time and that it makes me sleepy adn it really does notmatter to them I am awake when I need to be so what is the big deal? My youngest daughter is that way now too she understands more after she had her baby.
    I should not complain or gripe about it because it is not going to change anything. MY oldest can come home and have a head ache and is in MORe pain than I am in and I should respect that and I understand that they are in pain but so am I and they should believe me too.

    I am so sad that they don't feel like i am doing all the things that mOm's do. I don't walk very far as it hurt my hips and knees. MY back is getting worse and I know it and I am hurting too but I dont' tell them everytime I have more than the usual pain . Sorry about teh whinning you all know how it feels with the pain that chronic pain and fibro bring to us so I don't have to tell you anything about it.

    so I had a long weekend and i am hurting because I did things I should not have done so now i will pay for it in the next few days so I will just have to buck up and live with the extra pain I will be having and that I have now.
    I konw why i have this pain and hurt and I don't want my daughters to feel like all I do is tell them that I don't want to do tings, well in the past week it has rained, snowed and gotten really icey and i don't want to fall again. I don't want to be iout in the cold because it makes the pain worse adn me stiffen up so much adn I walk like a snail so I don't like to go with them and try to keep up with them as they walk really fast and with the cold weather I am in more andmore pain from the weather and the cold. I hate it and feeling like i am crawling along so slowly.

    I just hurt and ache and am really stiff and since my oldest daughter who is married adn 27 does not understand how I feel so bad for a reason that she can't understand as she hsa to be able to see it and have a real test that will prove it in order for her to undersand and belive in me.
    I am a grown woman and i don't ahve to have her aproval or her acceptance, I accept her for who she is and how she feels but I know that to her this fibro is not a big deal. But I don't just have fibro I have several things that really wrong with me. I know that what I have is real and that is all that matters. I am a humam being adn I love my girls and I just wish that they would accept me as I am now and let the past perosn go . I will try and be there for them any time of they will just ask me and I love them so much all i want is some understanding from them.

    Sorry for all the complainng about me. I am going to be o k, I have good and bad days adn this weekend was just a bad weekend for me. I felt so bad with my grandbaby being so sick and I could not help h im to feel better and I would have them hand him to me while I was stannding as he wanted to be standing up and rocked in my arms adn if it helped me I will gladly live with my over doing it for him.

    thanks for listeneing to me and underatnding that I do have real pain and I am not faking this pain that I have all the time. Thanks for listenting to me and answeringmy posts. Thanks you so much.
    Rosemarie
  2. XKathiX

    XKathiX New Member

    I'm sorry you had such a hard weekend! I was wondering how your grandson was. Sometimes people just don't get it and it makes it difficult for us.

    Know that we care and I hope you have a better week.

    Hugs
    Kathi
  3. sdown

    sdown New Member

    Just sending you a little pick me up note to let you know I care. All sufferers of CFS & FM certainly can relate to your pain and agony. Im like you I have my good days and bad days. This year was rotten. I had a sinus infection that wouldnt go away and found out I had nasal polyps. The good news is I dont need surgery the polyps went away with the help of a nasal spray composed of glutathione (its an antioxidant). I guess alot of people suffer from sinus problems. I have CFS. I have Addison's disease which is adrenal gland exhaustion and that causes my fatigue along with being anemic. Also had mercury fillings but got them removed. But the doc said the mercury had caused my health problems. My immune system couldnt handle all the leakage of 20 years of mercury starting to leach out. Anyways hope your having a better week. I'll say a prayer for you. I know how tough it is for people around you to not understand. I noticed the other day a man on the chat site whose wife has FM. I thought it was terrific for someone to come to the site who wasnt sick to find out more about the illness and how he could help his wife. Wish more families would do that. Maybe you should ask one of your daughters to sit with you and chat for awhile. Maybe if they saw others chatting they would clue in a bit. Hang in there. I'll say a prayer for you. Take care. Im sending a big hug your way!