i had it out w/my son and then went to dr's

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 69mach1, Apr 12, 2006.

  1. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    this afternoon was not fun for me...16 yearold wanting me to commit to a 11 am time of being home so he can have his gf over...
    well i have been dealing w/looking into moving out of my apt...dealing w/manager saying i have to sign a 12 mos lease...so yesterday, i mustered myself ,barely together and sought legal advice..i do not need to sign anything. i would be on the same month to month i have been on the last 6 years and the first six months..

    then feeling like poop...from side effects of med.. and muscle spasms...

    i went in got my temp taken and she was asking why are you here..i said for my shoulder or i think it is my fibro...i have had shoulder surgeries in both..

    well she says your running a temp or 99.9...i said oh..she wanted to know again what was bringing me there..

    told her..np came in and said...she would check me out...she did..big muscle spasm...ectc... and i have fibro adn the fever..so she said she wanted to to tender point injections on me...i said let's go for it..she did..

    she as really sweet and said take the next couple of days to really rest up and relax and do not do anything...
    take hot shower, stretch and ice...and if not better by fridat make another appt. w/her...
    then she said and next time could i make sure i was here earlier next time...i got there 6 minutes late...from actual appt...time...then the guy had to check me in...

    anyways...i told i had to force myself ot come here tonight and had it out w/son...

    oh he told me he had no role models, his mom has fibromyalgia and is on disablilty and his dad works in strip bars...

    i was hurt...i never worked in one... and his dad is working as pipefitter by day and night who really knows, still bouncing in bars supposedly no nudie ones..., but who knows for sure cash under the table...

    anways..

    jodie
    [This Message was Edited on 04/13/2006]
  2. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    If I ever learned anything...it was that kids/teenagers, really do learn from us and profit from much that you did not think they heard or understood. (Whew, what a sentence).

    It is their age and hormones(teenagers) that makes them rebel in every way possible. They are trying their wings and dipping their toes into pools of being independent. They give us the ultimate test at times. But in the long run they really do appreciate that someone cared enough to toe the line and not give in to them.

    They really lose respect for the parents that gives into them, at least on the really important things. I always encouraged debates and I would listen also. We took turns stating our sides. If they presented a reasonable reason(s) for them doing something, I would change and let them. But I really did not do it just to be able to drop the subject or from the distress of this.

    I would be careful in leaving them alone. They are young and do not understand how one thing can lead to another.

    I know that your son has problems that makes it even more difficult. Also you are the only one to balance everything in the day to day things and all that goes with that.

    It has always sounded though as you have been a good Mom and I still think that. Blowing up can happen to all of us.
    This is the worse age of raising your children. Can also be the best, but it is hard.

    I am so sorry all of this happened to you. You sure have your hands full. We are here for you........God Bless you and your son....many Blessings and Hugs........Susan


  3. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    he apologise a little bit ago...i told him did not want him swearing in my house...when he does that it makes me so angry..he says it is part of his language..i told him if talked like that to an employer he would be fired,,,he says he knows.

    it just stinks when i have been here for him...more than he knows or realizes i guess...right now...

    he is going to his gf's house and taking the bus...if i am up to it i will take him..but i just do not want him and her thinking they call the shots...he can take a bus he has free passes for the day time...

    told him it is not my fault i have this and this was not my plan...i told him how i was taking classes when he was 3 to pursue dental hygiene license...but i stopped because i had a numb nut dr. tell me i had lymphoma..i ended up getting my spleen and gall bladder out almost a year after the problem happened...

    and i said i may have been accused of fighting w/his dad but he knows what his dad was doing...working and playing with females(i left that part out)..told him it hurt me that is father was not here for him like a father should've been and he would come home drunk..mind you he had a 75 mile drive home from the bar...he finally did get a dui...i left his arse in jail...

    he was pissed but i had to go to work and talke my son to roller hockey practice and i didn't think his addiction should've affected our personal life anymore than it already did...

    he had the dancers bail him out...that bar owner wasn
    t there to bail him out like he said he would if he ever got into any trouble...the owner told him he was an alcoholic and take a look at his nose...i knows because he is one himself...and look at his kids they are all messed up on drugs and in and out of jail...he said he got a divorce from the best woman he had, his first wife...he said he is the cause for all of his children's problems...and if he didn't do something about it he was going down hard soon...

    so i am glad t didn't bail him out...he did call the night my ex came home from jail...he wanted to make sure i was alright...

    he loved me...and told everyone so...not like wanted to get married loved me...just toasted one night and bought the bar a round of champagne and went on how he met the most wonderful, beuatiful down to earth woman, here's to tracy's wife....tracy had no idea this one was coming...and neither did the dancer's that didn't know he was married,,,some did but not all of them...

    then t proceeded to tell everyone if tracy cheats on his wife he will have to go through me....

    nice story out of that black hole of a lifestyle...never mine...but money was really good but it isn't worth it to work there...you need to be fully single in everyway...and hopefully you do not get involved in drugs or alcohol abuse...

    oh well on to better things figuring out fibro.

    jodie
    [This Message was Edited on 04/13/2006]
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i am apologized for my unkind words and said i am not proud of myself...and and asked if he could forgive me...he said he wanted to know if i could forgive him for his words and said he just wanted to have his gf over sometime and wishes he could have her over w/o her parents caring if i am home or not...

    i told him there is alot he does not know about what i am doing...i said i am looking for a different place to live or deciding whether to stay and sign another lease or chance the month to month lease...i never had my rent raised at all for 6 1/2 years...it only went up 35$...but it is still 1285.00 a month for a two bedroom 2 bath apt...in need or repair...

    i pray i get my section 8 voucher soon some day...that would be a relief for me...

    so all my ssdi and someof my child support goes to rent...then i have the basic bills, i drive a 1990 chevy celbrity station wagon it has 89.000 miles on it...knockon wood it drives fine...needs new brakes a few other things on it..but i put new tires on it and fixed a radiator...

    it isn't any of my predivorce vechiles...but it runs now..

    thank you for your support...

    i know i am not perfect..i can only work on doing better...but this is tough...he said he didn't have any good role models..me having fibro and on ssdi and dad...that hurt me...

    but i told him true story i called state voc rehabe for a packet to fill out to see about get retraining like helping w/college or something...we'll see...

    i would love to become a hygienist, out here great pay and greatly need...i figure i could work a couple days a week and be ok especially if i have my section 8 voucher..i allowed to earn like for one person 72k a year and still get help w/rent..,or real estate sales, trick is it has to be something the state says it is in high demand...and i do not think it i will be one...

    jdoie

    jodie
  5. elastigirl

    elastigirl New Member

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I'm sorry your son was so mean, but it shows what a good parent you've been in the very fact that he apologized to you.

    I cannot believe what you have to pay in rent. Michigan, though jobless, is much cheaper. I'm in a $75/month place (subsidized). There are places as low as $600/mo. That can be an entire house :)!

    But every time you talk about moving back to Michigan, I get afraid for you....

    ... It was so cold this winter, and when I say "so," I mean soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cold. And the snow! The wind! The shoveling, sometimes 2 and 3 times a day! And being snowed in. Power outages, pipes freezing, running out of food....

    ... not only that, but being cold from November to April. I did not have a single day where I felt comfortable. I was pretty much always freezing, and looked like a stuffed sausage wearing a minimum of four shirts everyday.... A tshirt, a long sleeved shirt, a fleece and a sweater --- with a scarf tied 'round my neck -- and the heat turned up to 70 degrees. It's THAT cold!

    I could barely get my coat on! I could barely move all winter... and the achy pain was terrible.

    But... maybe your cold tolerance will be better. If I did not have so many local benefits based on my heritage, I would seriously consider moving south. My family is here, too, and when everything falls apart during a long, hard winter, you need them.

    I hope I can help you if you move back up here. We may not be able to meet in person, but I can tell you the things I do to prepare for winter :). NEXT year I want to be even MORE prepared. (Yes, I know where my flashlight is now :).)

    It's rough up here. But it's also cheap living. I'm hoping whatever happens, you come out on top this time :). You deserve it.
  6. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    I am spoiled here in NW Ohio. I have my own home...but renting a nice home would be half (More or less) then you are paying now.

    You have a full plate for sure. You are great in managing the money and all. GIve yourself a lot of credit in all you do.

    Hugs................Susan