I HATE being so USELESS

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by dragon06, Jan 12, 2007.

  1. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I hate not being able to do anything for myself. I had always felt useless before cause I didn't work or contribute financially but I have just had abdominal surgery and that has left me able to do nothing for myself.

    I have to have my food made for me, people get things for me, can't go to the bank or any of the stuff I used to do before...I hate this feeling.

    I feel bad every time I ask someone to do something for me.

    My family is very good about it and very understanding and no complaints or anything I just feel bad about it.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2007]
  2. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    For your reply.

    My mother also has FM and I get a lot of help from her. When I feel especially down I always give her a call and she is good about talking me through it.

    I am normally pretty good about seeing ways I contribute even if they aren't physical it's just now with this surgery I can do even less. I know it will pass as I recover it's just hard to deal with at the moment.

    I can't even pick up my dogs or cats :(
  3. dragon06

    dragon06 New Member

    I know I will get over this eventually.
  4. lillyrose33

    lillyrose33 New Member

    Hi there dragon, I know how you feel. We all get to the point that we are useless with this disease at one time or another but you have to remember that we are all here for a purpose and good or bad we are all go through these feeling one time or another.

    Everyday I thank God for being here even though there are days that I can hardly move and there are so many things that I can no longer do. I do the things I can and keep trying to help others.

    I have an 83 year old father that is still very alert and has worked all his life now he has COPD, and heart failure and has had one case of pneumonia after another and he told me the other day that he thinks that he is done for and I was so supprised and out of my mouth came that it was a bunch of crap and he needed to quit feeling sorry for himself and that it wasn't his called that it was his end and you know I took a good look in the mirror and I have said the same things to myself.

    It is so hard when we are not the person we want to be or use to be so I have decided that I want to be my best what ever I am going through even in pain.

    My husband does for me and so do my kids. I did for them for many years with no regret. I miss doing for them like I use to so, now I really overdo on the things I can do and I make sure that I keep my mind and spirit busy.

    I wish you the best of luck and I am glad you are here. Your family are lucky to have you and you are lucky to have an understanding and loving family.

    Lillyrose
  5. lillyrose33

    lillyrose33 New Member

    Ment to say in my earlier post that we all feel useless at one time or another with this disease. Sorry for not proof reading before I sent my post....blame it on the brain fog.

    Lillyrose
  6. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    We are useful in different ways now. That is what we need to realize. We need to take a look at not how we used to be useful, but how we are useful now.

    If you stop to think about it I am sure you will start seeing that you are still useful only in different ways than before.

    In fact I need to do that right now. I was having a bad day (yet again for the millionth day in a row) and was feeling horrible that my boyfriend is out at MY nieces dance recital instead of me. He is taking pictures and being there since I can't. He missed football playoff games for a 13 year olds dance recital. Needless to say I feel AWFUL about it. I was sitting her feeling useless yet again.

    I hate that he has to do everything for me. I used to do stuff for him all the time and take such good care of him. But now I can't do that stuff anymore and it kills me. I too need to take a look at how I am useful now because I often feel how you feel now.

    Just know that you are useful! In fact you posting this message was useful to me. It helped me to feel not so alone in my feelings. It also helped me to see all these other posts and realize that I TOO need to look at things differently and see that I am still useful...just in different ways.

    So you were useful to me today and helped me.

    Thank You! Hope you start feeling better soon.

    Take Care,
    Pam

  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    dragon:

    Do not feel bad in the least. Just let your caretakers that you love them and whatever they need in th future: maybe you help.

    Just a suggestion...

    nyrofan