I Hate Malaise!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MsE, Jan 23, 2006.

  1. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I've posted about this subject before, but it is bothering me so much again that I would appreciate any feedback you can offer.

    My head is willing to get going and get a few things done, but it is as though my body were stuck in "park." Then suddenly and unexpectedly it will go away, as though someone shifted my system into "drive." I'll do fine for awhile, and I'm back to a standstill.

    This isn't depression. I've dealt with that in the past, and this is nothing the same. I have talked with the doc and psychologist about this and they both ruled out depression and put it down to another CFIDS problem.

    Have any of you found anything that helps with this? It's driving me nuts.
  2. laspis1

    laspis1 New Member

    I was just about to post a question about it myself. I can cope with pain, I cannot cope with malaise. This is not just feeling tired. The weakness and the feeling of being ill, like with a flu is unbearable. For all of you out there, what was the one thing that helped you with malaise the most? Please help!
  3. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    REST! AND MORE REST! I know what you mean MsE, I hate that feeling too!! But I have found that it is my body talking to me and the best thing I can do is just cooperate with it and rest if I possibly can!

    Sometimes it gets so bad that I don't even have the energy to talk!! Or even lift my arms! I literally have to push myself just to walk! When I get like that I dont even try to explain myself to anyone...they don't understand anyway so I just save my breath! Then I just find a place to hide for a short spell... someplace quiet... and just sit or lay down. Kind of a quick shot at rejuvenation!

    It also comes with FM as well as CFS...and YES, it makes it very hard to get anything done. So I am learning to "pat myself on the back" when I can accomplish even small tasks during the day.

    Learn to compliment yourself on the little things.. even if they do not seem important to you... that way you will not get as discouraged or depressed over the big stuff that you cannot do. Try this..."Gee I did a good job wiping off the counter, or the kitchen table!" "Gosh I got one whole basket of laundry folded today!" And if you cannot accomplish all you wanted in one day... LET IT GO!! I think we put to many expectations on ourselves... we expect ourselves to be like we used to be when we were "normal"... and that is just not happening right now!!

    And most of all... never quit, never give up... there is always tomorrow!!

    Blessings to you... CarolK
  4. MsE

    MsE New Member

    You are exactly right. As you wrote, "This is not just about feeling tired." It isn't. It is a weariness that makes doing anything just too much effort. I don't understand it.

    I've had people tell me, just do one thing to get started. Well, when this hits even doing that "one thing" is just too much effort. I may want to, but I can't.
  5. MsE

    MsE New Member

    The truth is that at my age (71) I'm not always sure there will be a tomorrow, especially when this hits. No, I don't mean that pessimistically. I'm just being realistic. Each day is precious, and when I can't do a darned thing, it's a day that seems wasted.

    I just edited this post to you because as I walked away from my computer I thought perhaps I need to be kinder to myself and count more thiings. Although it wasn't the kind of stuff I meant, at least I got this post started, huh?
    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2006]
  6. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    Sweetie.... everyday is precious. Everyday has a uniqueness all it's own. Try to look for the specialness of each day you are alive. Whether you are 71 or 101.. life is a gift and we can retrain ourselves to find the value in each moment, each breath.

    I know this DD can be discouraging... I'm 61 and I've felt like you! But I am forcing myself to find the gift that each day brings to me... something special waiting for me... something I've never noticed before.... anything.

    Choose to get a fresh perspective on life... it is a daily choice we make. Choose to see the good things around you..even if they are very, very small! They are always there if we choose to look for them.

    I know how you feel... I have to fight like you, as well as so many others here on this board. But our daily attitudes will follow the choice we make. If I choose to feel down and let this DD beat me... it will! But if I choose to take joy in each new day, well then I find that joy follows my choice. There is a reason, there is a purpose to our being... you must know that MsE! Even when we do not understand.

    Hang in there Dear MsE! THE WORLD IS MORE THAN WE KNOW!



    ALSO.. I noticed you used to hula... well if your hips won't hold out... put on some nice music, sit in a comfy chair and do the "hula hand movements"!! When I was a young girl I leaned to do a little hula in my dancing classes.... the hand movements are so beautiful!! Practice doing just the hand movements... enjoy the meaning of each lovely movement that tells the story in song! See, there is something you can do... just do it different! Dust off the old records and have fun... even if you are alone you can still enjoy the Island music!
    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2006]
  7. MsE

    MsE New Member

    You are so kind. Your reply made me teary. Thank you.
  8. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    What part of Washington do you live? I have some friends who recently moved to Gig Harbor... and before this year is out, my hubby and I plan on moving to the Spokane area where my "Feb. 5th" daughter lives. Also my son and his new wife are having a home built in the Spokane area as well.

    I have four children and we are trying to convince the other two to move to Spokane as well. Time will tell! Sure would like our whole family to live near each other!

    I currently live in the San Jose, Calif. area... born and raised here... in fact, I am a fourth generation San Josean!! So as you might imagine, making a move of this magnitude (age 61) and having deep roots here, well this is going to be a challenge for sure... but, like I said before... I CHOOSE to take a positive attitude about it all... who knows,a positive attitude might be just the thing that gets me through all this!

    Blessings, CarolK
  9. shan1078

    shan1078 New Member

    Glad someone else out there feels the same as I do. Everyday is the same. I feel, ill, like I have the flu, I get spurts of energy, then I'll have to sit down for about 30 min's and make myself get back up!! This is why it's so hard for me to give up caffine.

    I've found that I can take pain medication to help the flu like feeling to go away, but I'm still tired. I guess that's better than nothing.

    Then just the thought that I don't feel decent unless I take pain med's scared the heck out of me!!

    Could this mean I'm addicted to them, getting worried!!
  10. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I grew up in Spokane! My sister and a brother live there, and I have nieces and a nephew there. One of my dearest friends still lives in Spokane, too. My family's original home was in an old part of the city between the court house (the one that looks like a castle) and the Spokane River.

    Your daughter lives there? What part of Spokane? Do you have any idea what part of town you are going to make home?

    What a surprise this is!
  11. MsE

    MsE New Member

    A few minutes I tried to post a message to you, but something happened; it got lost. If this message, or one quite like it, turns up more than once, it's a problem of the cybermonster. So here goes once more.

    You mention pain meds. Do they help that drained, weary, lethargic feeling? If so, I think I want some! Instead of worrying about getting addicted to them, I would just figure I was dependent on them.

    Maybe that is easy for me to say at my age, huh? I don't mean to be flippant about addiction. There have been times I've been concerned, too, because I use ativan and I know I'm dependent on it.

  12. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    Well I am not too familiar with Spokane, but my daughter lives in the "Bella Vista" area and my son's house is being built not too far from there.

    My husband came home just today from a trip to Spokane. He and our son went up to do all the paperwork for the new house. While my hubby was there he spent some time with a realtor. We want to get some land and build... but I am sorry that I don't know the area that he is looking at.

    My daughter took us on a tour of old Spokane and all I can say is that the old houses are just gorgeous! The older area has such majestic old homes on it... I thought it was beautiful! We walked through a beautiful oriental garden, which I cannot remember the name of.

    We have taken several trips up there and my hubby is getting the feel of the area. Interestingly, my husband was born in Spokane... but his family moved away when he was about two years old and came to the San Jose area.

    Hubby has wanted to leave the fast pace of the Bay Area for over 30 years now... so now that all our kids are grown and moving out of the area... well we thought it was time to make the move ourselves. We've wanted to build a log home for years and have been investigating that for quite some time now.

    You did not say what area of Washington you are in... I understand if you want to keep that private. You said that you were on the coast... I'll bet it's lovely! I love the ocean and I will miss it if we do make the move. Santa Cruz and the Pacific Ocean are less than an hour away from where we are so it will be greatly missed if we do in fact make the move.

    Nice talking with you MsE.... Blessings... CarolK
  13. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    It's me again... I forgot to tell you MsE... my hubby also has relatives in Connell, WA and Ritzville, WA. And if I am not mistaken I think there were some relatives in the Couer D'Alene (sp) area too. The relatives in Connell own a huge potato and asparagus farm.

  14. MsE

    MsE New Member

    I don't know where the Bella Vista area is. The part of Spokane with the gorgeous old homes is probably the South Hill. I'm almost positive the Japanese Garden is up there too. That was built after I left. Manito Park and Comstock Park, both on the South Hill, are still flourishing I believe. Check out the gardens at Manito sometime when you are there.

    The old area I grew up in is NOT very nice any longer, though it was pleasant enough when I was a kid. Now it is crime-ridden except for the last few blocks on the bluff overlooking the river. That is still very nice with some wonderful old homes. Too much of the Spokane I remember has deteriorated over the years, but I'm sure many new and lovely neighborhoods have taken their place.

    It IS gorgeous here. I don't think I could stand to live inland unless it was on a large body of water. I love this cool climate and I'm within walking distance of the water. You guessed right: I don't want to be any more specific than that about my location.

    I know where Gig Harbor is. In fact, a dear friend lived there for a few years. Connell is fairly near the Tri-Cities area, I think, but I haven't been there. Quite dry isn't it? Coeur d'Alene, Idaho has grown tremendously since I used to visit it as a youngster. It was a favorite place for "a day at the lake" back in the 40's and 50's.

    [This Message was Edited on 01/23/2006]
  15. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    I just love the West Coast! I've been up and down it from Calif. to Washington... nothing more lovely than the gorgeous Pacific Ocean. I will certainly miss that if we do make the move to Spokane! I especially love the "marine influence" on the weather too...not sure how I will like being and "in-lander"! But hubby is pretty determined to get some land and build on it... he's got that "pioneer spirit"!

    Now I know we could take trips over to the Seattle area since our good friends live in Gig Harbor... but it's not the same as living there. If I could pick anywhere to build a house I guess it would have to be the N.Calif. area where the big redwoods come out to the ocean... love the combination of ocean, big trees, mountains!!

    But Calif. has gotten so terribly epensive and we are nearing retirment very soon... so we need to find a place that is more financially friendly. Hubby has also wanted to move to Oregon... but we have a HUGE NEST FULL OF RELATIVES up there.. with more problems than I care to know about!! Don't want to get caught up in all that drama!! Could not take the stress of it all. So I am willing to compromise and move to Wash..... especially since our daughter, her hubby and three of our grandkids are there. Also, youngest son just got married this past year and he is building a home there.

    You asked about the Bella Vista area... well I know that it is off Sullivan road... sorta in the hills... just before Liberty Lake... if you know where that is. Sorry to hear that your old neighbor has become a bit run down... I always hate to see that happen to any neighborhood!

    Thanks for chatting with me.. I enjoyed it. Blessings to you MsE! CarolK

    PS... I have another six grandchildren in Oklahoma... no way in heck am I moving out there!! Oldest son and wife live outside of Tulsa... it's pretty in the early spring.. but after that it is one miserable hot place to live! Hopefully they will move to the Spokane area in the years ahead!!
  16. CarolK

    CarolK New Member

    bumping for MsE
  17. sharon5650

    sharon5650 New Member

    Oh I feel the same way at times. I can feel great one minute, then bame!! it hits me like wild fire. I have to sit down and wow, do I ever feel sick (malaise feeling) can hardly explain it sometimes. Who ever I am with usually says" where does it hurt? what do you mean you are sick, you were just ready to go out, you felt fine"..this is so weird, and a hard thing to explain to someone, they think you are nut. What the hell is going on with this...Probably part of the chronic Fatigue with us...so sad we have to go through such a turmoil in life eh????? sharon5650 up her in cold cold Canada
  18. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    Hello all....everything you say is me to a T, IF I don't take a Stacker 3 every single morning when I first get up. I don't think there is much in there to hurt me, but it sure motivates me to get moving. I never take more than one at a time, and the day I tried taking one in morning and one in afternoon didnt turn out well...way too active a mind for sleep...But that one capsule is what makes me able to function and work throught the malaise. I don't know how anyone does without them. I buy mine at Walmart...Please keep in mind they work GREAT FOR ME. The way so many on here react to meds..etc...I am not recommending them to anyone..just saying what works well for me.

  19. MsE

    MsE New Member

    Thank you, all of you, for writing. I appreciate it. Coming to this board is what keeps me sane at times. There is something about this malaise thing that just drives me bonkers. I guess it is because it is so darned hard to explain. You have all helped. Thank youl