I have a problem

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ForeverFlaring, Apr 3, 2003.

  1. ForeverFlaring

    ForeverFlaring New Member

    I hope any of you have any recommendations for me. My husband works varied shifts. He works quite a few 10am-7pm shifts and on those days he gets our children off to school and lets me sleep late. Some days, like today he works 6 am -3pm. On those days I have to get up and just assist them in getting ready for school. As many of you know it isnt particularly hard for a normal person to do.

    This morning like many mornings in the past, I did not wake up. My husband set the alarm for me but when I sleep deeply I never hear the alarm. I obviously hear it because I turn it off, but I never remember turning it off.
    I woke up at noon today and I am so upset they missed school I am just a bundle of tears. This has happened at least 10 times this year. I am sure the school is getting suspicious because they always miss the same day together. I always send a note saying they were sick but I am tired of lying. I am more tired of my children;s education suffering because I cannot seem to wake up. We have tried all the tricks..placing the alarm clock across the room etc.

    I have stopped taking my meds the night before I know I have to get them off so I am not so groggy in the mornings but when I do that I usually dont fall asleep until 4 or 5 am, and I oversleep anyhow.

    Has anyone else experienced this? I am not lazy and just dont want to get up...I literally do not realize consciously that the alarm clock is ringing for me. I just dont know what to say to the school. They know I have an illness but they dont know the extent of it. This has been going on for many years and I am so mad at myself I cannot stand it. My kids certainly don't mind as they get a free day off. I imagine them peeking into my room when they wake up and high-fiving each other.

    Any suggestions on HOW to wake up would be great. We have tried 2 alarm clocks in the room. He has tried calling to make sure I am awake, but I never hear the phone...that is HOW out of it I am. I am out of ideas and patience with myself.
  2. pamj

    pamj New Member

    You say that this has been going on for many years, and you imagine the kids high-fiving each other. This makes it sound like they are old enough to know it is a school day, and they could probably wake up on their own with an alarm clock in their room. My 7-year old niece wakes up with her alarm clock on school days. This way if her mom is in the shower, or if mom ever overslept for some reason, the child would still know she has to put her clothes on for school & let mommy know she's ready for breakfast.

    Are you able to wake up with someone tapping your shoulder & talking to you? Couldn't they come to you and say "mom, it's time to get up"? Would a cold cloth on your face help? Whatever works for you, you should get the kids to help you.

    Even though you're the parent, the kids should still know it's their responsibility to attend school. They shouldn't feel that the can "get away with it" just because you slept through the alarm.

    Hopefully you and your family will find a solution soon. Talk to the kids about it, and let them know you need their help. Many children feel very proud when they know they are helping.

    good luck!
  3. layinglow

    layinglow New Member

    I agree with Pam, that was going to be my suggestion. Children of School age, should have an alarm in each of their rooms. Also, you might consider placing a phone in your oldest childs room, in the beginning, and Dad could phone and make sure she or he is awake, initially. Then let the oldest rouse you from sleep.

    I believe you should go ahead and take your meds, as sleep deprivation is a major hinderance to these DD's, and falling asleep at 4 or 5 am, is not helping your health.

    The "high fives" you are describing give me the impression, that the children are not taking the responsibility of being help-mates in the family seriously.

    Best wishes,
    [This Message was Edited on 04/03/2003]
  4. ForeverFlaring

    ForeverFlaring New Member

    I had a talk with the kids and explained to them that they are old enough to get themselves ready for school. They are 8 and 9. I still would like to get up and see them off but I will be putting an alarm clock in my sons room (the 9 year old) to make sure he at least "knows" it is time to wake me up. I am extremely hard to wake up though. It's funny when they were newborns, I would wake up at the slightest noise they made. Now they could be screaming their heads off and I wouldn't hear a thing. The high-fives were only my imagination though. I know they don't do it but they sure do take advantage of the situation.

    Thanks for the advice.

  5. jka

    jka New Member

    i don't know how old your kids are-but what about putting an alarm clock intheir room?my daughter had her own alarm by 2nd grade.you might try it.

    good luck
    kathy c