I have been reading about our pain meds alot PLEASE READ

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, May 8, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have a different delemia {sp}.I am on MSContin , 100 mg for pain, MSIR for breakthrough pain. The problem is that I will take my MSIR and my MSContin together in the morning inke my doctor told me to do , but after that I will take the MSIR for the breakthru pain .

    I will doze off about a hour to 2 hours after taking it and then I forget to take the MSCIncontin and so I don't take one thinking that I must have taken on already and that is why I fell alseep and suddenly I find my self with more of the MSContin than I should.
    I mean at this moment I have 2 months worth of the pills from not taking them as often as I should be taking them.

    As I am trying to get on disability the PA. She said that she could not just put a stop on the pills , she suggested taht I keep a one month extra supply in case of an emrgancy that I could not get in to my doctor that I would at least have the MSContin. All else I was to get rid of. So that is what I did.

    AS much as I hated to do this as I have paid for the meds but not used them and I felt funny in having 3 months worth of Mscontin that I got rid of them . That way when my sister who is always snooping around will not find them and take them for her own useage. I don't want to have her using my meds and getting me in deep trouble.

    MY problem started when my family thought that I was taking more pain meds that I should. So I took it in to my own hands and only took the bare minuim of what I needed to take. I thought that if I took less the family would get off my case but since I was in more pain from taking less than I should be taking that was a bad plan for me.

    I may have done this for what I thought was the right reason but my doctor knows more than I do and he does not over prescribe. And I was taking the control away from him and I was the one in control and I felt that I could do with much less than he{ DOCTOR} DID.

    But I was wrong . But instead of taking them like I should I still thought that I could do with less and suddenly I had 2 extra bottles of this stong med and that was bad to have. And I felt guilty about having the extra.

    AS much as I want my family's approval I have to do as my doctor tells me to do. And if he is telling me to take my meds every four hours then I better be doing it. Right? But instead I was letting my kids and husband tell me what to take and since they have not gone to medical school and don't know all of my pain issue's that I have it was wrong of me to listen to them and let them use their disaproveal of my taking pain pills get to me.

    So the last time I went to the doctor I had to see the PA as doctor is having some Legal issuess and he is taking care of them. I told her about this taking less becasue of the family thinking and she asked me how many pills was I taking in a day and I said 2-3 when I should have been taking 5 so that the pain would not get out of control she was not so happy with me.

    And we discussed what I should do. I was put on a schedule and have it written out so that I will remeber the times to take the pills. And what to do about the extra meds GET RID OF THEM ASAP. I did this and I feel better .

    I was told as I said to keep a spare month incase of the doctor's legal problem casued me to not be able to get in to see him or have to change doctors I would have enough of the pain meds to get by , but I would be out of the other meds I take on a daily basis. But as least I would not go through with drawls from the morphine in the MSContin.

    Getting rid of a months or so of pills was hard to do as I have paid for them but it was the right thing to do. AS I have a sister who is addicted to pain meds and has in the past stolen my meds and I now keep them in a locked box so no one can get to them but me.

    I do feel better emotionally because I did the right thing in getting rid of the extra pills and I learned a lesson. The doctor knows me better than I know me and what he says is for the best. And I need to not let what my family tells me to make me not listen to my doctor. I once thought that I could just take waht I wanted of the pills in a day, I was to take 5 pills a day so if I just took 2 or 3 it didn't matter but it does. I need to take my meds like they are written and not like I think I can do.

    So I have found out that I am not addicted to the pills or I could not have gotten rid of them but I learned that I needed to do as my doctor tells me to do as it is what is the best thing for me as his patient. I hope that by my posting this that some one will not make the same mistake that I did.

    Having chronic pain & fibro leaves us with the feeling that we are out of control.We have lost our control and we want it back so sometimes we do stupid things so that we can have that control back again. And in doing thing things that our doctors tells us to do is what is best for us. WE should not try to take control of our lives in a way that could cause us more pain and problems .

    I know just how hard it is to let go of the conrtol in my life. I want to be the person that has the control of my life and I thought that what I was doing was just taking back the control when it was not being smart and doing what my doctor ordered me to do.

    So I have learned this lesson. Do all the things your doctor asked of you , if it is PT, or meds or what every do as the doctor tells you to do. You will feel better for following his instrustions to the letter.

    I have found that having this fibro I don't have control of my life , I have lost it and I just want to have it back. I want the old me back and it is the hardest thing to do is to give control of part of youself to some one else.

    My doctor is a good man and I know that he would never ever give me too much of any pain medication. But in my mind having my family always telling me that I was addicted and taking too much pain pills I took what my doctor had told me and just blew him off thinking that I could do better by taking less meds.

    Boy was I wrong. I had more flares ,and always in pain and dumb enough not to know why I hurt more. I have not learned that while I have lost my control in part of my life , my doctor has just temproally held it so that he can help me to feel better. When or if the time comes that I no longer need him he will give beack that control to me.

    I now have gotten things back in to the right order and I will keep taking my meds as the DOCTOR hsa told me to do so. And I will listen, and respect him for all that he does for me to help me feel like I have a life that is worth living.

    Thanks for letting me share this personal story with you it was painfull for me but I needed to do it so that no one else would think that they can chose what or how often they can take the meds that have been prescribed for them by a good doctor.I really thought that I knew better than my doctor did and that it was ok to just take the bare minumin of the emds he prescribed and that was wrong of me.

    I didn't take in to my thinking that my doctor knew what was the best way to help me have a better more painfree life. I did some thing so dumb and feel so dumb for doing it. I Hope that you can understand why I did this mistake and forgive me for doing it.

    Thank you for you time and please for give me for things that I do wrong. This life that is not mine is so hard to live and to find the hapiness need I have had to look outside of the normal things. I have found that posting to you has helped me greatly to accept this dd. For that I thank you forever.

    I have been TOLE Painting more often that I did,a keeping a journal too has helped me. And I have found some good friends that I can talk with and share how I am feeling . I have found that just spending time with my grandson has helped me to be much happier than it was, I am trying some new things to stop feeling sorry for myself. The more that I find to do the happier I am with myself.

    Thanks for everything,

    [This Message was Edited on 05/09/2006]
  2. erfula1

    erfula1 New Member

    It was a very brave thing you did in getting rid of the extras. Especially with the FM pain and not knowing about your Dr. My hubby used to be on MSconitin and Fentanyl and methadone for pain and we had our house broken into 2 times and they took the meds only both times. The second time they were in a lock box and they broke the lock box and took only the meds even though there were car titles and silver ingot coins in there. They didn't touch anything else. I knew it had to be one of his friends at the time, he was the only one besides me who knew where it was the 2nd time cause he was with hubby once when he got it out from under the bed. And he quit coming around when we got a security system sign and hubby said if he found out who it was he was gonna shoot them.
    It is sad to worry about your physical safety when all you are trying to do is stay out of pain. He went off all of the pain meds right after I went off my meds. He has crohn's disease, colitis, IBS, rhuematoid arthritis, and a leg amputation and he is only 35. He is my inspiration.

    The only thing I want to say though is if you can use less meds and still feel good, there is nothing wrong with that. It actually is better because it will be slower for your body to build up an tolerance for the meds which can happen. Yes your Dr is treating you, but you know your body and your pain better than he does. If you are doing well on a lower dose and you don't want the extra lying around, have him reduce your dose. You can always go back up if you need to. Just my 2 cents.

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