I have FM, but am writing as a caregiver

Discussion in 'Caregivers' started by Kimerella, Jan 7, 2002.

  1. Kimerella

    Kimerella Member

    I am obviously dealing with my own health problems which have not been easy.

    I also have 2 children at home who have on going health problems. My son, Alex (11) has severe allergies and asthma. My daughter, Katie (8) gets very run down, especially from this last cold. She tends to vomit and have diareaha. She has been through many, many, tests and, of course, they find nothing. I fear she has FM or CFS, but has enough "good" days and no specific trigger points that her doc doesn't want to look at that. However, he is willing to treat her for the specifics, which is in essence how I would take care of her even with a Dx.

    They are both down ill today. I have been homeschooling and they wanted to go back to school at the semester. This would be good for me as sometimes my health just doesn't allow me to be as active with them as I would like. If they were in school, today would be the first day back after Christmas vacation...and here they are sick again. I am rethinking the going back to school thing. I took them out because they were missing so much school and I ws not getting a lot of cooperation from the school.

    I honestly believe the staff thought that I encourged them to stay home because I am sick...lol...this couldn't be further from the truth. I wanted them to go so I could have quiet time.

    I have a supportive husband, but he must work. (Has a good job, good pay and health insurance). Thank you God. I have 2 very supportive friends, but they have their own jobs, children, etc. My sister is also great, but lives too far away. My parents also live to far away. So, therefore, during the week days I have no one to help me. When all three of us are down it becomes a very difficult day...especailly for me, as I have to keep going even if I feel awful too.

    I, also, worry about if I am doing the right things. Am I missing something? Did I forget to do something important? Am I feeding them right?...I don't need answers to these specific questions, as I have been doing this for several years now. And becoming exhausted of illness, doctors and meds. I guess I am just very concerned for them...and for me. How can I get on with my life, when all I deal with is illness...not much time for anything else. But I love them very much and believe I am being a good mom and caretaker.

    I know this has been long, but I have no one to really talk about this caretaker job on top of the FM who really understands.

    The only thing I know to do is to keep focusing on what is really important.

    Thanks for listening.

    Hanging in there,

  2. karenanne

    karenanne New Member

    I really wish I had some answers for you, but alas, I don't. I have some ideas and thoughts that I'll run by you though. Feel free to dismiss them.

    Kids do develop symptoms which the docs are unable to explain.

    When my daughter was born she came in with a raging temperature, swollen glands and vomiting; was rushed in to the Childrens Hospital many times because they feared febrile convulsions, dehydration (eventually learned to make my own Darrows Dextrose solution to save the journey and the distress).

    They sent her to two eminent peadiatricians and they found nothing. She grew up into a strong young woman. BUT...she still has and always has had fevers, swollen glands and vomiting. No-one knows why. It is the way her body manifests it's dis-ease or malfunction.

    My son had migraines, allergies and nasal disorders. Still does. And these are his body's way of manifesting dis-ease.

    So, perhaps those symptoms are similar things with your children? Just a possibility???

    If your kids want to go to a regular school, please let them. They'll thank you for it, and they can always come out if it doesn't work out. But if you don't let them then it will always be something that will sit there in the background, possibly in a resentful way, possibly not. Hard to say.

    Sometimes, as you know, a child can instinctively know and feel what is the right thing for it at that time. And sometimes it's a good idea to let them know you trust their instincts and their judgements. It strengthens them enormously.

    I wonder if there is anything on the net about children with FM? Might be worth a look and a scan through.

    But please remember, because they are showing various symptoms now, does not mean they have or will develop FM. Very often children, and grown-ups for that matter, do grow out of various symptoms and disorders.

    So, with all the love you obviously have for your family, take some more care of yourself, and see how things develop.

    Try not to worry...a lot easier said than done, I know. But worry conveys itself to your kids, and then they begin worrying because they sense your anxiety, tension and worries, and that in itself is sufficient to reduce their optimim health possibilities. Then you will start worrying....and so on.

    You are doing a grand job; hang on in there.

    Good luck, all the very best,
    Bright Blessings,

  3. Brutus

    Brutus New Member

    After reading your message, I started to wonder whether the kids were getting sick because of a mold or mildew problem in your house. I know that sounds strange, but it is possible that your kids are reacting to spores in the air inside the house. Um, I think it's called sick building syndrome or something like that.

    May I suggest that you and your husband spend a few hours checking all the nooks and crannys to see if there is a patch of mold that is growing unnoticed? If you do find anything, it would be worth your while to take further steps to decontaminate your house.

    Why am I suggesting this? Been there, done that.