I have to force myself to do everything Can anyone relate??

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sanddollar140, Jul 20, 2008.

  1. Sanddollar140

    Sanddollar140 New Member

    Help! I feel so alone! I am so tired and in so much pain that anything and everything I do, I have to make myself! I feel so guilty, especially since I have a husband and 3 boys that need me! (ages 18, 13, 10.) I used to cook big meals and have the house really clean. Now I'm lucky if I can put a frozen dinner in the microwave! Does anyone feel like I do?
  2. ladybird1

    ladybird1 New Member

    You do have a load on your shoulder in addition to dealing with our fibro.
    Although my son is now an adult, I still am the primary caregiver for my disabled 87-year old mother who cannot walk and has double incontinance. Plus I have to work full time.

    I will pray for both you and your family. Maybe your guys can pitch in alittle more.
  3. Sanddollar140

    Sanddollar140 New Member

    Although I know they have a hard time understanding what in the heck happened to their once energetic happy go lucky mom. It makes me sick. I always ask God why me, but then I always think there is someone a whole lot worse off than me. I pray every day that I will have enough energy and that the pain will not be so bad so I can do some of the things I used to do. I am in the process of applying for SSD so I hope that works out. Thanks for your reply and God bless you. I am so thankful that there are others that feel the way I do and understand. - Amy
  4. greatgran

    greatgran Member

    I have to force myself to do everything even simple things such as bathing. . When I think of what I use to do compared to now it makes me so sad.

    I have two great granddaughters that I try to care for during the day as I have no choice but honestly don't know how much longer I can go on.

    Wish I had an answer for you but all I can do is relate.

    Today I tried to fix my hubby a good meal which I did but then I have been in bed about all day.

    We have frozen dinners , carry outs and drive-thru meals. If it was just me I would never shop or cook.

    I have a lot of anxiety, depression from this as I see no light at the end of the tunnel.

    God Bless,
  5. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    Absolutely! I am alone and STill have to force myself to do anything that gets done. I have to force myself to dress and go to grocery store, etc.

    I just don't go very much but it's so difficult to take the initiative to just "do it"! I remember when there was a time that I didn't even have to think about doing anything; I just did it. I can surely relate but can't imagine a husband and 3 boys....wow!

    Hey; it's not your fault; just hang in there and do the best you can.

  6. Sanddollar140

    Sanddollar140 New Member

    I am a very clean person, don't get me wrong. But like you said, sometimes taking a shower seems like too much. Its crazy. I am a person who used to make big home cooked meals at least 3-4 times a week. I used to be able to paint a room in a day. Ha! That is a joke now. How sad. But there is no need for a pity party. I've had enough of those. I am just greatful to have people like me out there! Sometimes you think you are the only one but fortunately (or sadly) there are others just like you! God bless you all! - Amy
  7. Janalynn

    Janalynn New Member

    I can totally relate! If I didn't have to go to work, I'm not sure I'd leave the house. I just don't feel like doing anything!
    Sometimes the thought of getting ready is exhausting to me. I seem so easily overwhelmed anymore. I must admit, when I'm not in terrible pain and I do get out, if just for a short time - I remind myself how nice it is to get into the world.
    It's funny cause when I met with the pain clinic doc (who I only saw once, but she had Fibro) one of the first things she said to me was, "I bet you stick pretty close to home". You're darn right I do.

    My husband does the grocery shopping and most of the errands. I can't even stand the little errands anymore. I'm sure it's not good for my mental well being, but I'm happy being a homebody. I am NOT happy however being a homebody in pain and exhausted. I'm like you, used to have a spotless home, lots of projects going on, home cooked meals etc. Now I find myself saying "is there something in the freezer to eat". I have an understanding family thank goodness.

    You are not alone - I force myself to do everything. Nothing is fun when it's forced. BUT like I said, some things that I force myself to do, I'm glad once I've done them - like a short walk on a summer's evening. When I can do that, I'm happy.
  8. harmony21

    harmony21 New Member

    dont know how you guys with kids do it thenagain i have a husband with CP and two adult kids still living at home

    You just have to learn to do what you can when you can very difficult to do

    you are not alone there are many of us who feel the same me darlin

    angel hugs


    ps I had to retire early at 58 I just couldnt do my job anymore and now am home doing what I can when

    [This Message was Edited on 07/20/2008]
  9. kellyann

    kellyann New Member

    I have two little girls ages 4 and 18 months and I have already raised 5 other kids! Well I still have my 18 year old daughter at home about to have a baby any minute!
    Some days it is all I can do to keep the liitle girls clean,fed and in clean diapers. I can't even think about cleaning the house! Chasing after those girls is a full time job! The four year old is special needs and is very violent at times. She likes to spit on you, pull hair, hit, and bite. And if you tell her no she will knock everything of the tables.
    And my daugther is so big and pregnant she is not a whole lot of help, except with the kids. So the house just piles up.
    Maybe I'll get enrgey to clean it some day. I try to do one thing a day that is a big chore.
    I just wish I had more enery, don't you?

  10. homesheba

    homesheba New Member

    and i also have to use all my energy an will power to even take a shower anymore.
    no one can realte except some one with this.. i hate it so much.
    i am tired alll the time.
    i cant imagine having a family.
    its just my dh and i now
    but he is many years older than i
    and im finding i am doing more for him,
    so that is getting alittle scary.
    i dont know if i can help him as he ages more
    as id like, and cant afford help.
    you know how that goes...
  11. Honora88

    Honora88 Member

    in this lifetime. I have learned to receive and not have to be the giver all the time. It's only after getting ill that I had no choice but to learn this lesssonl.
  12. Sanddollar140

    Sanddollar140 New Member

    Wow, how do you do it? With two little girls and everything else you have going on? At least my kids can pretty much do everything for themselves. Bless your heart. I think I could deal with the pain alone. But the fatigue is debilitating. I stay close to my house too. I used to love to get out of the house, even to go to the grocery store. Not anymore! My son just got through with all-star tournaments (baseball). I thought I was going to die I was so tired. But I made it through somehow. (lots of prayer helps). Take care all!
  13. spmom

    spmom New Member

    Oh, my heart goes out to you because I have certainly been there. I remember when I didn't have the energy to write a list of all things I need to do. Hang in there and do what you can to get well, what ever that is.
  14. texasrose204

    texasrose204 New Member

    So many of us are going through the same thing. I too force myself to move, some days my legs don't want to. Some days and can't even get out of bed. Those are days when i tnink this is not living. I feel like i am a burden and know that i need to be more positive. Dinner is really hard i wouldn't cook if it was just me. I do the frozen meals try to make more when able and take out. Dr put me on prednisnoe for mth. and i was so much better. i even started painting and major cleaning. Well predn. stopped and so did I. Paint still sitting there! I used to be a go getter and now walk so slow and hurt so much! I will say a prayer for all!
  15. Pansygirl

    Pansygirl New Member

    I have to make myself do things too~ even on a so called good day.

    Today I did do 3 small errands and I'm worn out and it's only 1;30.

    My kids are 11/15 so they can help out and do things for themselves but they still me to be their taxi . I'm learning to delegate more.

    When I have a good day I tend to do too much and then I suffer for several days. But even on a good day I have pain~ it never goes away and that makes me sad.

    I was always so busy before this dd and also had numerous projects going on ~ and it's hard to find the energy to do anything anymore.

    gentle hugs, Susan
  16. msbsgblue

    msbsgblue Member

    Yes, I was a type A personality and everything I did had to be perfection. Example, if I sat a square bowl on a square table it had to be lined up exactly with the edge evenly.

    I try to do one or two chores now a day to keep my house clean. Heck, I use to clean the entire 4 bedroom home I had in one day and that included mopping and waxing the floors.

    I think most of us don't or won't admit that a large part is not only that we feel bad but we are somewhat depressed.

    I have a heck of a time making myself get started but once I do, I feel better even though it makes me hurt and sore later.
  17. Sanddollar140

    Sanddollar140 New Member

    At least I think so. Pain, fatigue, and depression go hand in hand if you ask me. It makes me depressed just knowing all the things I used to do, and look at me now! I too feel like a burden sometimes. About the prednisone - I have a small bottle in my cabinet I never took. I was afraid it would blow me up and make me gain weight. Any insight on that? If it helps me do chores and paint my kitchen I think it would be worth getting on for a few weeks. Take care all!!
  18. texasrose204

    texasrose204 New Member

    sanddoller140 I took the pred. for a mth. 2 weeks 10mg and then 5 mg next 2 weeks. what a difference yes it made me hungry i don't have much appetite otherwise. but i didn't hurt so much and had energy felt so much better. I started thinking wow i am getting better! the about a week after stopping my symptoms started back everyweek was progressing back to the old me. I questioned my dr. if i could take it at least one time a week. He said no that it causes havoc with your body. I would like to take it just low dose even if just once a week. I know people that take it, some even on here. That been on it for extended length of time.
    It is also a quality of life that i would hope to have maybe taking it.
    Not sure why some dr prescribe it and some don't?
    I have a friend in a wheelchair been taking it long time- years. He owns his own jewelry store he has offer it to me, he works and says he wouldn't if he didn't take it.
    I may ask him for a few at least to finish what i started, it makes me more depressed seeing all these things i need to finish around the house.
    I manage to clean house somedays i pace myself, and rest when i know i have to stop. and days i push to much and then i pay for it!
    It just hard to believe this dd can change a person's life so drasticlly. I struggle with words at time (spelling) so please excuse my writing.
    Take care it helps reading these posts to hear we are not alone!
  19. kaymac

    kaymac New Member

    I do too....I hate showering or bathing, it's so exhausting! But then again afterwards I feel so much better.

    I don't know how kellyann or those with small children do it! Amy, I have 3 boys...23, 21, and 16 now. My 23 just moved out..but I've had FM for 6 years. They understand but then again they get irritated, but hey I can understand.

    I don't shop or cook anymore. I work full time but am not suffering to the point I am wanting to quit and seek disability. I sometimes can do dishes or laundry, but for the most part, working alone puts me on couch in the evenings and weekends. My husband took over the laundry and cooking. We don't have a spotless house like we used too....I do feel like a burden, but it's just a fact of life we are all trying to deal with still. One day at a time. My husband also gets scared I think. True, FM isn't terminal, but it definately causes changes in a family that is scary.
  20. bellydonna

    bellydonna New Member

    I'm forcing myself to type this. Most everything hurts most of the time.
    I haven't bathed in....I'm unsure. Fri or Sat?

    This is the reason we have perfume. : )