I Haven't Posted In so Long

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Crispangel66, Apr 13, 2006.

  1. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    I am sorry I haven't been supportive or posting anything for a while.

    I have been hurting so bad I can hardly stand it.

    I have also been totally depressed and still am hurting and depressed.

    I just haven't wanted to bring anyone into my funk.

    I am hating my life right now and wishing I could figure out a good way to stop this pain.

    I have tried so may things but I don't know what to do anymore, I am starting to feel like I will just have to suffer the rest of my miserable life!

    Have any of you started thinking that maybe you had done something to deserve to live in pain?

    I have been asking myself that alot lately.

    The pain has been so bad in my back and legs and feet/neuropathy.

    Don't get me wrong I wouldn't hurt myself to end the pain, it is against my religion and I wouldn't want to hurt my family that way.

    Plus lately I have been having a problem holding down any food.

    I will eat and then my body seems to reject it, I will either start coughing which will lead to gagging and then I will vomit or I will gag and not be able to help myself.

    I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired!

    Sorry this is so long, Pamela
  2. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    You sound like my sister. But nicer. She is depressed and is constantly sick to her stomache. If we call and invite her to dinner on sundays she is always throwing up. And so is the dip she married. But he is another problem that I will save for some day when I don't have something better to discuss.

    Back to the depression, I have been watching TV and we have been having commericals that ask you about your depression and where does it hurt? So maybe your hurting becuase of your depression? I know that when I am really stressed , upset, I get really nausous and don't want to eat any thing. In fact I am not hungry most of the day. And I get on kicks of what sounds good to me to eat. I am on one now that I have to watch as it is not good for me. I could sit down and eat pints and pints of Ben& Jerry's ice cream as long as it is choloate mint.

    And their's has oreo's in them and I am not kidding I could just sit and eat the whole pint in one sitting and not think a thing about it.But it is not the best thing to be eating.

    It is fatening, has sugar in it and did you know that sugar can make your pain worse? I didn't till I asked my pharmaist about it and he said that eating sweets makes your pain stay at a higher level . So I am watching how much I eat and it is expeinse too so that helps me not to eat so much of it.

    I got sick just after I had my tonsils out and had antibitoic induced colitis and when I was adimitted to the hospital I weighed 145 when I came home 5 days later I weighed 118.
    But it was a crappy way to lose wieght. And for some reason unknown to me my hemocrit was really low and I had to have 3 blood transfusions.

    I bring this up because when I came home, I would go to eat and like you either everything made me feel sick or if I ate it I would throw up. I was like that for 7 years but I could eat then but if I thought that I was gaining too much weight I would get the feeling that I was nausous and didn't want to eat.

    Don't know what changed that but I could really use that again Need to lose weight now. But that is not the best way to do it . And it does not work for me anymore.

    With you not feeling good and having depression it could be caused by the depression. I would talk with your doctor about it and find out what can be done to help you. Because you need to have a good diet to help you to feel better. I Know this because I don't eat right and I am trying to eat better. LIke eating grapes instead of the mint chocolate ice cream, or a apple, and I have started to eat more salads too. It is really hard to make you self eat when you really don't feel like it.

    I don't eat because I just don't think about it. And part of it is the meds I am on. But I am trying to eat better and more healthy. I drink more water than I used to do and it helps me but if I drink really cold water I lose my appitiete and don't want to eat. But because I am on narcoitic pain meds I have to drink more water to keep my body working right. AS the meds tend to constipateme . { What a subject to discuss.} But I drink a lot of water because I am on a stool softner .

    sorry I have to end this typing as my worst is burning me with electrcil shocks .
    Rosemarie
  3. Crispangel66

    Crispangel66 New Member

    All of you are so sweet and understanding.

    I am wishing I had posted on here sooner.

    Physically I am not any better but I feel better emotionally.

    I thank God for ya'll and this website.

    I am going to talk to my dr about my depression and also I am thinking about asking for something a little stronger for pain.

    Also I have been on the same strength Xanax and Trazadone for a while so I am going to ask him to increase the dose.

    The only problem with my dr is it is very hard to get in to see him because he is so good.

    But I found out I am able to see him at a reduced rate, with or without insurance, which helps with having no insurance.

    I went in one day and they told me about this sliding scale program at their office.

    I was wondering if I was still going to be able to see him, now I don't have to worry.

    Pamela
  4. claudiaw

    claudiaw New Member

    I was just thinking of you! I was hoping you had not been on the board because you were busy feeling good.

    I'm sorry it was the other way around. I tend to stay away the worse I feel as well.

    Just try to remember when thing's are hard it will get better and know that it will happen again soon.

    Just try to take care of yourself, let thing's that can wait go ( there are more thing's that fit that catagory then we know:).

    I will be thinking of you.:)

    <<<HUGS>>>

    Claudia
  5. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    So sorry about your feeling so bad...I wish I could help, but I can offer you my thoughts and prayers and my happiness to see you posting here again.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Sue
  6. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    Though I wish you weren't so ill.I agree about the depression.If you take an antidepressant maybe It's lost it's effectiveness.Depression keeps us from sleeping which causes more pain.A vicious cycle.Hope you start to feel better,Linda

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