I HURT, and just feel so bad nothing is going right now

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Dec 6, 2005.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I have had a tough weekend and had prooblems with the sil's and what they don't do and that they just leave their things on the bathroom floor like they are at home and I tell my daughter and she picks up after him and maybe i am old fashoned but I think that men should be bale to pick up their own things and not be catered to all the time. I mean he was a pai in the butt because he would not watcvh the baby while she was getting ready for his company party and the next thing I knew he had brought that baby back to here and told her to just curling her hair while holding the baby with a hot iron. and how stupid is that. He did so many silly things and the longest he would watch his son was about 5 minutes. and that was almost too long for him.

    NO wonder she can't get there house clean with taking care of a 8month old baby and a 21 year old one too. She has to pack his suit case when they come to visit he had drill this weekend adn she would as here so did you pack everytihng that I needed , LIKe she really knows what he needs for this functions?

    May be I am just being fussy, But I just spent 2 weeks cleaning my home and it loks really nice and I have always struggled with keeping it clean adn it would get to hte point that it was over whelming to me so I would not cleanit up . I fianlly did because we were haveing it apparised .
    I really like how it looks but now I am expecting my grown kids who don't live at home and come to stay for a weekend to pick up the mess that the baby makes as he spills his cherieo's or his crackers. HIs colthes were dropped on the floor diapers clothes, soscks everyting on the flooor ,
    I know that while my daughters were growing up i didn't clean the house very well but agfter this time i spent and now that it has been clean for almost 2 months I want it to stay that way. I just want them to pick up after them selllves. I have not been feeling so great. I have been in a flare but I have been hurting so much that I don't want to bend over.

    I have been hurting so much in my legs back and hips adn not feeling good , the pain is sometimesmore than I can cope with. And then today when I thought things could not get any worse as I am flaing from picking up my grandson. And picking up after they left and cleaning the house again so that it looked nice once more. I have found that it is so much easiiier to keep it clean than to just leave tings where theya re sitting so I picked up the cookies and the garbage that was left around like the bottle of strawberry milk the my SIL had why didn't he thow it away ?My back has been hurting more andmore because I have done more than I should.

    I was eating something yesterday and I felt someting get stuck in my tooth and I really didn't think about it , till today, And I went to the bathroom because this thing I had stuck in my tooth was bothering me and I went to floss it and as I did part of my tooth filling went flying out of my mouth and I could feel the part of tooth that was hanging on and stabbing me in to my gums each time I went to close my mouth, the tooth did not hurt but that peice did as my husband was going to the dentsit I asked him if I could go with him and he has some rude remark about that everythime he went to the doctor or dentist.

    I suddenly had a problem and I had not noticed that Iwas doing this. So he left and I called my mom for a ride to the dentist and made the appointment and she came and got me and I had to face the worst situatation that it had to be pulled, my husband thought that it was not a big deal. And of course I was a denntal assistant for over 15 years but that was a while ago. I am so frightened of going to the dentists now because I am seeing in my mind everything that is going on to me. It is like a mini viedio that I can see each instrument and the syringe adn all the things that are used to do a extraction.

    I see it all in my mind and it adds to my fears as the dentist gave me the injection I can feel each little poke and eacvh time the medince goes into my gums and it bruns and really hurts and I am crying like a baby. And feeling silly about the tears afs I have assisted with this more time thatn I can count but now it is me and i am hurting in my back and the emotional feeling I have becaue I can't go back to this kind of profession,
    I shattered my wrist and it will not work right so I can't assist anymore no matter how much I would like to. But i am sitting there and crying, this extreaction was quite hard to do and it really did hurt and I have been in alot of pain told me that he was sorry for what he said but I stil hurt fromthe stinging remoark he had make.
    So finally it has eased and I am about due for another pain pill and i am tired and upset with me for how I acted at the dentist. I was stressed becasue of the weekend and irratatied at my self for now telling my SIL to pik=ck up shi thinngs from the floor and telling my daughter to pick up after the baby too and I just let them and got all ups et becasue they did not read my mind and clean up their mess.

    IT is stil something new to them as it is to me so i am going to have to tell people as they come to stay that I am now expecting that they will pick up after them slves as if I would were I staying at their home.
    si biw I have to tell them how I feel and they are wondering what has happend to my mom she never cared about this before?

    I just wnat my home to be nice and clean it is not perfect yet but it is cllean and not messy so I want everyone to help me with keeping it clean but I am the one that should tell them that I now would appericate it if they would pick up after themselves and the baby too.
    them inestead of thinkg that they can read my mind.

    Then I breaak the tooth and have more pain adn a panic pattack in the office and am embarassed by it. it is not like i have never had a tooth pulled before. but I am hurting somuch in my back hops and thighs. I have not been sleeping well since this over doing it. I know that I souldn ot do tings taht i am told tonot to do but I do them any way so I am paying the price.My doctor has told me don't lift anythingmore than 20 lbs and my grandson weighs 20 lbs and he would walk along the couch to me and hold up his chubby little arms to me for me to pick him up and hold him and them he would just start jumping adn jumping as most babies do.

    so now i am hurting so much because i did things that caused me to have more pain.

    And the tooth being pulled was not in the plan today as it was snowing really hard we got about4-5 inches of new snow and it was really slippery and as my husband haad not cleanied off the stairs I was afarid that i was going to fall once again. si this waling down the slippery steps and in to the office that the walks were slippery too and I was already in pain and then came the ususal questions about why was I taking the pain meds that are really strong and what has caused this probem and do I know that I can become addicted to them too and on adn onand on. YEs I Know I have been told this and I take my meds as they are perscribed and not anymore. I am tired of the explaing to everyone why and what I am taking and what have I done.

    It bothers me that when I am walking p eople I know come up to me and ask so what has happend to you ? YOur waaalking like your in pain did you fall? and I don't want to tell them the i have fibro and CMP, Degennerative disc diease, and more . I am not wanting to share this infor with anyone and eveyone so what do I do?

    I am now in pain and hurting and wanting to cry becaseu of this flare i am having and the neww added pain of having the tooth pulled.

    Am I wrong in wanting my kids adn family to pick up after them selves? Do I need to tell them that they need to start picking up what they leave on the floor, as the can see that the floor was clean when they came in to it and now it is a mess.?

    I am so stressed and in pain and I hurt and that makes me bite peoples head off when the speak to me.I don't mean to do this but I find my self getting upset that no one including my husband will pick up the things he leaves on the floor and he knows that i want the hosue to be cleannned up and to stay clean. I am sorry that I am whinnign about me and I am on this me me thing. I know that i am not the only one that is in pain all the time I am just not d ealing with it well today.
    So can anyone help me in what i should do with thie problem.?
    I must go now as my tooth is acheing or should the socket is hurting. And I need to take a pain pills and got o bed aandhope full sleep.
    Thanks for you time and concern, Rosemarie
  2. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    First I hope your mouth is better soon!

    Second, it doesn't matter how you kept house before...you have a right to say how you want to have it now. I guess my best advice is to let your children know what you need from them when they visit...and if they cannot , or will not comply...try to keep the visits to your house short, so less mess can be made. Try not to pick up after them like mom's usually do...tell THEM ..as ADULTS..that they need to honor your home..and clean up their own things..and their own kids. It may take some time for you to get things to change..but don't give up just because the changes don't come over night. If you stay firm about what you expect your children to do..they will likely respond by taking care of their own things. Also..be honest with them about your health...maybe they don't realize what a difficult a time youre having.
    Good Luck!
  3. chickabee

    chickabee New Member

    I agree. Rosemarie, i think you need to set your kids and hubby down and tell them exactly how you feel. Do they know about the pain that you are in? If not, explain it to them. I have found that most people just don't understnad the amount of pain we have. I have told my adult children, hoping they understand mroe now about changes in my personality, etc...and so on. My son sees me on a daily basis, so he really knows what is going on...I hope you can get your kids to help you out by not making messes and leaving them for you. I hope you mouth feels much better soon. We all have bad days and kinda good days, just keep praying for more kinda good days,. I know i am. Nanc :)