I hurt and want to yell and scream I hate "fibro"

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Sep 2, 2008.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I am so angry that my body has betrayed me. Instead of being able to rest at night and live a painfree life , I live each day in pain.

    As a small child I would wake crying from the deep bone crushing pains I had in my legs, muscles, tendons all over. I had not had any trauma that I can remember at that age. My grandpa on my dad's side passed away before I was 3 yrs and the memories I have of him are filled with love. I feel in my mind being lifted up and kissed and hugged goodbye feeling so loved and wanted. I have no memory of his passing . The memories are so brief .

    As I grew so did the pains I had, I could trip, fall off of, trip over, any thing in cluding the floor{so tells my mom}. Over the years growing up I never could get warm once the weather turned cold, I had to have MOUNTIANS of blankets on my bed for me to be warm Mom would tell me that It was amazing that I was not squished from the weight of the blankets on me.

    I broke my wrist, hurmourus, {SP} and much more over the years. Each year added different pains to me they became worse after Daddy died . Feb.9th 1960 Just nine days before I was 13. It sucked big time and I took it very hard. LIfe went on and other things happened that should not have happened to a young woman so naieve I was. But it was shattered at a young age and my life changed.

    In that time what happened to me would not have ever been talked about to the police or any other aurthority. No one would have belived me that what happened really did happen. Even years later it was hard to get people to understand that I had been abused by a GOOD , gentle man, he would not such things.
    I can't go in to amy more detail tonight. I am hurting to much to keep typing.

    I wanted you to know that I am having a hard time living with this pain and manageing it. I so hate fibro and wish with that it would leave me alone, let the pain stop NOW!
    Is is really true that the shocking , sad things htat occured to me could have caused my fibro? Gee thanks body I have been threw so much and then some thing turned on and screwed up my nervous system causing me to live in pain .

    sorry this is so disjointed and long. There is so much more that I wanted to say but I have to get some sleep now. I cna't stand this pain any more and the meds I am going to take should help to let me sleep I hope.
    Wishing you all painfree nights and days.
  2. mujuer

    mujuer New Member

    I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. You know we are always here to hear you and support you. Sometimes just venting helps us and as positive as I try to be, I have to tell you, I want to scream and rage somedays myself. It sounds like you have had a pretty rough childhood. You know back then the Drs. didn't understand as much as they do now about childrens pains. My sister had terrible leg pains, insomnia and other ills as well and they just didn't know what to do for her. She finally got dd with lupus but not until much later in life.

    I hope you get some relief soon. P
  3. jgail

    jgail New Member

    i've had fibro now for 8 years from a fall. i an 56 years old. was working 2 jobs before the fall. now i've been out on diability since. soooo much pain all over. headaches, tingling in legs, upper and lower back pain, rib pain, swelling in kneck and shoulders, stiffness, you name it, i have it. and the worst thing about it is that family and friends say the understand, but they really don't. i guess because most of time they don't wittness the times when you are so much in pain you can not get out of bed. i feel your pain. i hope tomorrow you have a good day.

    hugs and kisses