I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by LEAMsMom, Nov 16, 2004.

  1. LEAMsMom

    LEAMsMom New Member

    My life just seems like my life is a sort of punishment, I'm not giving a sob story so please don't flame me ~ This is truly how I feel.
    Plain and simply, I had a crappy childhood like most people. But I thought I got through it pretty well, I decided it wasn't going to affect my choices now. I did everything the way you're supposed to do it, I got married, had the house, had the babies etc. But everyday it was a struggle, my marriage started to have problems after the first baby was born. Abusive behavior started, but I stood by my man. As far as I was concerned I made vows before G-d, and thought I should be able to endure anything. For better or worse is what I said, but it just kept getting worse never better. I eventually left with my children, and a court order to keep him away from us.
    Forward 4 years ahead. I am now living with a man I don't love, I have two of his children. Now the abuse I live with is Verbal instead of physical.
    I pray all the time for guidance out of these types of situations, but it just doesn't seem to be working. I'm either not asking the right things or I'm being ignored. I realize the final steps are up to me, but I need G-ds guidance to put me in the right direction.
    please help, what can I do to be heard?
  2. jill5050

    jill5050 New Member

    I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I have not been in your position, so I won't try to give you advice about your problems.

    I do know that you are being heard by God everytime you cry out for help. Have you spend a lot of time in prayer? I always feel better after I do. I spent plenty of time in prayer, literally crying out for help- tear running down my face, sobbing. Our Lord is very compasionate. He always hears our crys. The fact that we are sad, hurts Him.

    Have you given your life over to God, and accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour, and believe that He died for our sins, and that we are forgiven, and can have eternal life with our Lord? If not, then that is your first step. It will change your life forever! Go to a Bible believing church. Make friends there, seek support. People will reach out to help you. Find a church that you feel good to be at. Sometimes it takes a few tries.

    Live your life for the Lord. Get Christian friends so that you can lift each other up. The rest will fall into place. God never promised us a perfect life- look at the life of His son! But, we can be perfected in Christ. Start reading the Bible- start in the New Testament. The scriptures will speak to you.

    I pray that you will find the peace you are looking for- it's only a prayer away.

    Nobody should ever flame you for feeling down, or having a hard time. Know that it is OK to acknowledge the past, but we have to try to think about our eternal future- and that it is going to be indescribingly wonderful- that's the good news!

    Blessings,
    Carlie
  3. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    My prayers are with you.

    Have you considered calling an abuse center for women? They can be very good at helping people to sort out their lives so they can start to make some constructive changes.

    Love, Mikie
  4. Lupian

    Lupian New Member

    Lack of self-esteem is the issue, I suspect. You don't believe you deserve better than you have been getting. Please get into counseling for yourself so that you can come to see what a lovely, worthy individual you are, and become able to act accordingly. As for being flamed - I doubt anyone in this world goes from cradle to grave without these terrible feelings of sadness and loss and fear and hopelessness. Just know that you were born a beautiful, perfect baby, and you did not deserve a bad childhood. Now you do not need to live in misery as though you deserve it because you do not! You are doing the best thing possible right now by reaching out, stating where you are, where you hurt, and letting the sunshine in on those feelings. Please do the things which are good for you, and keep us posted. Hugs from the heart
  5. ginn266

    ginn266 New Member

    Hi, I am going through a rough time in my marriage as well. I did learn something from therapy last week. Most marriages when they fail and when the people remarry, they never healed from the first one and then the second one fails too. I was not married before, but when my husband and I met we both had a lot of baggage, so our marriage was never healthy right from the start.

    I know now what I need to do. I need to have my relationship with the Lord first, I need to love me and if my marriage lasts or lives, I have to be able to be strong no matter what. If your church has a support group called Divorce Care, you should go even if you want to stay with your man now, it can help heal old wounds. Just after going once, I see where parts of my marriage went wrong and maybe it can be salveged, THATS A BIG IF. Also, the video gave good advice it takes one year for every four years you were together with someone to heal. I am not sure if any of this will help you. But I hope it does.

    I do feel your pain, I was abused by my step father for over 10 years and I have not let that ruin my life in that way. Now my marriage is in the pits, but I am holding onto HIM, that's all I have in the end.

    Just keep praying that's the best advice anyone can give, our prayers will be answered, but not the way we want at times, and sometimes for me it seems like they are not answered like I want alot! But, I have patience and one day will find out why. Do keep praying. GIN
  6. sarahann61

    sarahann61 New Member

    Its human nature to blame someone when every thing goes wrong, since you asked, why am I being punished?

    I dont know why bad things happen to good people, but they do. I guess its because we live in this world with Satan, so its far from perfect........................

    God created you ,for a purpose, you have a reason for being here and ,"God wants you to be happy". You are looking in the right place, toward God.

    My prayers are with you , that you will find love for yourself and, for others, that you will be able to forgive the ones that have abused you, which I know is hard for us humans to do ..........................................

    Jesus had so much love for all of us that he lived in this world for his short life, and died on the cruel cross, but was still able to ask forgiveness for, the ones being so cruel to him and ,the ones that had forsaken him
    [This Message was Edited on 11/17/2004]
  7. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    It seems like you have jumped from the fire to the frypan.

    Have you written on the Abuse board here at Pro Health? There are some very helpful people there that can truly understand your situation.

    Is the verbal abuse because you do not feel like you love this man? In other words, are you acting in a way that he knows you do not love him, like you think you should?

    Sometimes we get responses from our body language as well as what we say.

    I don't know how old you are, your children, or if you are capable of supporting yourself and children either.

    Do you have a pastor? if so, you could go to them for some advice. If not then a conselor would be able to help you make a sensible decision.

    As for your standing with God, He does give us a free will, and many young people do not ask Him for a mate, they go out on their own and find one, which most of the time is the wrong person for them.

    I will pray for you that you make the right decision for your life and your childrens.

    You are in an awkward situation, and no one call really tell you what to do, the decision has to be yours.

    Will be praying for you to make the right decision for all concerned in your life, God does have the answer, but you need to listen to that small voice within you.

    Shalom, Shirl
  8. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I`m sorry you`ve had such a hard time. I will be praying that God gives you strength, self-worth and direction. It is true, we create our world and we create what we think we deserve. The truth is you deserve much better, believe it and make it so.

    Hugs,
    Sandy