I just want out

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Linzey, Nov 14, 2006.

  1. Linzey

    Linzey New Member

    I dont know why Im posting,it wont help. I have suffered about 20 years with CFS/Fibro. (and other health problems,bipolar illness,and a severe back problem that there is no fix for) I feel so cheated of my life,most days are just a waste to me. I have tried EVERYTHING known to man ,working with a wonderful Naturopath Dr.,and nothing works,or works for a short time. I just cant take it anymore,the ups,-its like a tease,thinking maybe this time Im actually getting better,only to be let down again and again. Im tired of the pain,tired of not being able to function like a "normal" person, tired of people not understanding my illness,tired of not being able to greet my husband when he comes home;with a smile,I only can look at him with that pained look on my face. I just want it over. The bad days WAY outnumber any good. I just dont know where else to turn,or what else to try. thanks for letting me vent all this. Im sitting here ,sobbing,knowing I cant "leave" my precious dogs here without me.I couldn't bear the thought of anything happining to them.
  2. Bruinz

    Bruinz New Member


    Hang in there Linzey.

    You have survived this thing for 20 years now, it show what kind of a fighter you are. You are in a flare and
    it is good you are talking about it with us.

    We all know what you are going threw, we are all there
    at one point or another. Try to look for the positives.

    One of the positives will be how many people care enough
    about you to reply to you post.

    We are here for you.

    Gentle bear hugs

    Bruinz
  3. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    Doesn't just being here on this web site work for you? Everything seems to fail for all of us. The exchange of information is very helpful to me.

    Hang in there girl. I and a hole lot of us are in a constant flair and there is just no way healthy people could understand the toarment (spl)

    I just know that if they had just one hour of this pain, they would go directly to the emergency room, and there they would recieve no treatment.

    Keep posting, we'll get through this. Awareness is mounting.

    Dan
  4. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    We have all been at this point at some time or another. Just try to think of something positive and something to hang in there for....like your doggies. Whatever gets you through the day.

    There is so much going on in the media now with this CFS awareness campaign that hopefully we are on the road to great things. Hang in long enough for that cure that we all hope is coming.

    I am sooo sorry that things are bad for you right now. Here is the "list of hope" that Prickles posted for everyone. Maybe there are things on this list that you haven't tried yet...things that will maybe help you to improve.

    From Prickles

    I call this my "list of hope" 05/01/06 09:35 AM

    In no particular order...

    1. supplements (That's a whole different list!)
    2. physiotherapy
    3. hydrotherapy
    4. chiropractor
    5. massage
    6. trigger point therapy
    7. bowen technique
    8. magnetic therapy
    9. hypnotherapy
    10. osteopath
    11. sauna
    12. lightning therapy
    13. guai
    14. coconut oil
    15. castor oil
    16. olive leaf extract
    17. grapeseed extract
    18. acupuncture
    19. dry needling
    20. ear candling
    21. myostretching
    22. reflexology
    23. field control therapy
    24. reverse therapy (lightning process)
    25. superviral IV therapy
    26. reiki
    27. neurobiofeedback therapy
    28. naturopath
    29. bio-cranial therapy
    30. laser therapy
    31. live cell therapy
    32. IDD therapy (intervertebral differential dynamic therapy)
    33. La Stone therapy
    34. advanced cell therapy (ACT)
    35. radio frequency therapy
    36. bioresonance therapy / electromagnetic biocommunication therapy
    37. craniosacral release therapy
    38. colloidal silver therapy
    39. prolotherapy
    40. enzyme therapy
    41. infusion therapy
    42. UV therapy
    43. microcurrent therapy
    44. cranial electrotherapy stimulation / electrotherapy
    45. decompression therapy
    46. physical therapy
    47. hyperacuity therapy
    48. amino acid therapy
    49. salt therapy
    50. bee sting therapy
    51. mesotherapy
    52. soap under pillow
    53. chelation therapy
    54. myofascial pin release
    55. internal disk therapy
    56. ultrasound
    57. neurotherapy
    58. polarity therapy
    59. NAET (allergy eliminaion technique)
    60. lymph mobilisation
    61. microdose therapy
    62. neural therapy
    63. copper band
    64. TENS machine
    65. Mangosteen juice
    66. Noni juice

    Don't give up hope.


    I hope you will find some relief! Hang in there. We are all here for you.

    Take Care!!!
    Pam
    [This Message was Edited on 11/14/2006]
  5. wordbyrd

    wordbyrd New Member

    Sending gentle hugs your way {{{{Linzey}}}}

    I understand, I truly do. 16+ years with CFS/FM plus other diagnoses.

    Try to hold on for the next hour. Then the next one. Then the next one. ....until your husband gets home. And tell him how you're feeling.

    If you've come to the end of your rope, it may be time to let others help you. Are you able to take any kind of anti-depressant medication? Do you have health insurance, so that you could see a therapist?

    Hold on. I'm praying for you.

    --wordbyrd

  6. fieldmouse

    fieldmouse New Member

    I posted mpretty much the same thing as you just a few hours ago. I feel your pain today....literally.....I am right there with you....so much pain....so much dissapointment.....read my post.....having bad whiney day....you are not alone.....we are all here with you adn for you.....love and hugs...Mick!!
  7. mellaart1011

    mellaart1011 New Member

    so many of us have been where you are

    have you ever tryed acupuncture? once you find a couple of things that really work you'll start living again
    just don't stop trying new things, there is always new stuff coming out to

    I wish I could help more

  8. Ranigar

    Ranigar Member

    I've been where your at and will be there again many more times I'm sure.Hang on,be extra kind to yourself today and hang in there.One day at a time.
  9. Catseye

    Catseye Member

    Have you checked out Cheney's treatment protocal for cfs? I'm doing most of it (almost all the supplements) and it's working! I've been ill for 4 years. Look in the library here, search for Paul Cheney and look at Nov 8, 2002 article. best wishes, karen
  10. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    I'm sending you prayers and hugs. And kisses to your dogs. They need you and would be lost without you. Wish I could come over and keep you company for awhile and help ease the pain a little. Please hang in there. I've been there too and know how much it hurts.
    ((((((BIG HUGS)))))

    Much love, Erika
  11. Jordane

    Jordane New Member


    Linzey honey,

    Please don't give up now!!! 20 years you have tredged
    thru it all, it has been Dang hard but hon you have done it!!

    I cant imagine how I will get thru it sometimes,and it has only been a few yrs.

    But by listening to a lot of you who have been going thru all this S***, and you keep going AND giving us newbees a boost when we need it.

    You help keep us focused on whats important,like family and friends.Take our minds off the pain and feeling hopeless.

    So hang in there.You are important to us!!!!

    Hugs
    Jordane
  12. lptopcat

    lptopcat New Member

    I am sending you some great big gentle ((((hugs)))). I am so sorry you are feeling so much pain and down.

    I will be praying for you. Hang in there!!!!

    Theresa
  13. mommyinpain

    mommyinpain New Member

    I am praying for you to have better and less painful days real soon. Bless you. You are so strong. Hang in there. I'm sure all our prayers will help you. MIP
  14. Scapper

    Scapper New Member

    I feel your pain girl!! This stuff is not easy. On good days I try to hold on to the "small" things that bring me pleasure (a shower, a nice scent, sun on my face, etc). On harder days I try to remember the people in my life who love me exactly the way I am. On days none of this works, I JUST HANG ON!!!

    HANG IN THERE WOMAN!!!!

    You're in my prayers.

    Hugs, Scapper
  15. happycanuk

    happycanuk New Member

    Was finding a very scarce comnmodity - an UPPER CERVICAL CHIROPRACTOR. These chiros don't use manipulation, the treatment is gentle, and so worth it. It has helped me tremendously. They only work with the upper cervical (in the neck). Heard the expression, getting your head on straight, well that is what they do. The align the area where the brainstem and the spinal connect, taking the pressure of the nerves. I know that there are not many of them, and they are in larger centers, but if you have one near you, it is worth a try. I still have pain, from OA and FM, but NOTHING like it was.

    Just google NUCCA and you can go read about them.
  16. springlakeorphan

    springlakeorphan New Member

    As with many others, I am in so much pain and just want out. BUT, I am not sure where to go?? I belive we are all here for a purpose. I often think that my only purpose is to keep falling. I say that this is punishment for something terrible I did in a past life.I can't "check out" yet because I think I may not be finished. Most days, I feel like a piece of jello just taking up space on earth. Maybe tomorrow will be better for both of us. Maybe not. I think we gotta stay and wait it out. There's gotta be more than this...hang on tight sweetie. Find one of us when you need to vent. We'll hold your hand and get you through it! HUGS....Mary
  17. wanderingbluedragon

    wanderingbluedragon New Member

    Have you thought of calling a crisis line? I am worried about some of your statements. I just want you to know that there are many of us who definitely feel the same. I may not have had this for 20 years, but since there is no cure, I'm sure I'll get there one day. This is a devastating illness and for many of us, it is not our only health problem or the depression from it is not our only mental health problem. By the way, you are a "normal" person, you may be a miserable sick "normal" person, but you are normal. I'll give you my cyber shoulder to cry on as I cannot be there with you, but if I could, I would. Life is what you make of it, sucky and cliche as that sounds, it's true. I was commiserating and feeling sorry for myself recently and then I found out my friend, who is only 30, has ovarian cancer...this is the second time. She shaved her head as her hair was falling out and she is scared out of her mind because she has it everywhere. I then berrated myself for being so focused on my problems, they won't kill me. I felt totally selfish and like I could face this because there are worse things out there. I also have Bipolar, ADHD, PTSD, and anxiety problems. I also have another chronic pain condition from adhesions in my abdomen that grow like wildfire and for which there is no cure..I also have a shoulder injury that I was told was permanent...too bad so sad sort of thing. I still go to work, because I cannot afford not to, even though staying awake during the day can be difficult and my arms hurt so bad that I want to just punch something. I'm not asking for sympathy, just letting you know that you are not alone. Sometimes, it seems if it wasn't for bad luck we wouldn't have any. But nothing is worth taking your life over. Besides, you have your babies (doggies) to consider. Come on and talk any time you need to...we are all here...listening and willing to lend support.
  18. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I don't know about Linzey, (hope to know more), but reading all of the replies to her has given me courage to keep facing each day with a grateful spirit.

    God has given us so many small things that makes living worth it...just to see my dogs run and play or lay on their backs looking at me with trusting eyes...

    An Azalea plant a church sent me for my mom and dad...Wilcoxen HUGE fudge cycles, and home made cards from my grandchildren...how can we ever total up the blessings???

    I love you all, Jana
  19. dahopper

    dahopper New Member

    you are hurting like this. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I know all of this pain and loss of quality life all to well. My husband is so understanding but it is because he knows my pain first hand. I was told two months ago I had Lyme and we are now waiting for his results to come back because he has all the same pain and symtoms. Also both of us have FM.

    Put your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug from me and know I care and I will pray for you. Please hang in there....there is so much to live for. Even if its looking into the eyes of a loved one or your little faithful pet. Please look on my bio what keeps me going day after day after day. I know they love me and need me.

    Hugs and love with alot of prayer, Debbie
  20. mrstyedawg

    mrstyedawg Member

    I know exactly how you are feeling. I have had this vile thing for 22 years. I myself had a screaming session this morning.

    Somedays I feel so hopeless. Like noone understands. The only people that can truly understand what it is like to have this are the people on this board who are living it day to day.

    I have a precious husband and two precious kids that I want to live for.

    We have to hang on! I truly feel that before long there will be help out there for us.

    You are not alone.

    love,
    Andrea