Hi everyone~ I haven't been here in awhile, I know. But I needed to talk today. I am so devastated. We had to make the decision to put our dog down today, and I am completely heartbroken. For the last few days, he was refusing to eat. He was vomiting any water or food he tried to eat. We decided he must have some kind of flu or something, so we decided to watch him and if he didn't get better, we would take him to the vet. We also thought he just didn't like the new food we just bought this past week, however, our other dog seemed fine with that food. Well, last night, we noticed that he was falling down anytime he tried to walk. It was heartbreaking. Then when my husband tried to take him outside, he fell down our basement steps. He took him to the vet this morning, and they ran some x-rays. I was thinking that maybe he had swallowed a part of a bone he had chewed up, and maybe it was lodged in his intestine or stomach. The vet told my husband after looking at the x-ray that it was a mass, possibly on his liver, and they were going to do an ultrasound, and run some blood work. I was at work...and just trying to remain calm, and praying for the best. A couple hours later when I phoned the vet, he gave me the devastating news that he has Lymphatic (not sure of sp?) Leukemia. He explained that our dog had the highest white blood count they had ever seen, and they were shocked by the results. He said this form of cancer is very rare. He explained there is really nothing we can do. Even chemotherapy may do more harm than any good, as the cancer has already spread to all of his organs and bone marrow. So my husband and I chose to end his suffering. He was only 5 years old. We are not strangers to this heartache. Six years ago, our beloved German Shepherd was diagnosed with Lymphoma. At the time of the diagnosis, we were in the process of moving into our new home. We were very upset, but chose to try chemo with him. The vet had told us he could live another year or so with treatment. So we spent the next 5 months taking him in for treatments every month. Until it got to the point where he could no longer walk or even stand up on his own to go outside to the bathroom. We had to make the difficult decision to put him down. It tore us apart, but it was for the best. He was only 6 yrs old. My husband and I held him as he passed - it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And it took a long, long time for me to get over that moment - watching him slip away. I felt like we had failed him. It was one of the very few times I have ever seen my husband cry. At the time, I swore I would never own another dog. I felt no one would replace him, and I couldn't bear to ever go through anything like that again. But we missed having him there everyday. Within a few weeks, we ended up at the pound. They had a new litter of puppies, and he was the one who came to me, and would not leave my side. So we adopted him. And in some ways, having him around helped ease the pain I was going through over losing my dog just weeks before. He has been a wonderful pet...he wasn't always the best behaved though. He was part hound, and hounds have the tendency to wander. We live in the country, and I can't tell you how many times that dog would just run....we were always getting calls from people all over the place that they had our dog in their yard, and we had to go get him. He loved to wander. The thing they all told us was that they adored him. They thought he was just the sweetest, nicest dog. And he was. It was so hard to sit in the vet's office with him for the last time. We took the whole family so we could say goodbye. I didn't want to be there when they put him to sleep (It was so hard with our first dog - I just didn't want to go through that again). So we talked more to the vet who assured us that this was the best decision for the dog, because the cancer had spread so rapidly, and he was not going to get any better. My oldest son, 9, held him and began to cry. Then we were all crying and holding him - knowing it was the last time. Even though he could hardly walk, he jumped up and ran by the door - it was like he thought we were getting ready to go home. It broke my heart. I can't deal with this. And I can't believe this is happening again. I just can't. WHY? I sort of feel like this is God's way of letting us know we should never own another pet. Were we terrible "parents" to him? Did we do all we could do for him? I don't know....I guess I never will. The only comfort I have is that the vet told me he has gone through this twice himself in the last 10 years. And he said if it were him, he would do the same thing. So I hope and pray we made the right decision. I am saddened as I watch my other dog - he looks lost without his best friend. He keeps running through the yard as if he is looking for him. If you read this, thank you. I just wanted to get out my feelings. I am saddened beyond comprehension right now.