I Lost my Grandmother yesterday

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by morningsonshine, Mar 1, 2007.

  1. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    My grandma passed away yesterday from lung cancer, I went to see her in Tuesday, and her mind was still clear, but she was so tired and sleepy from the morphine, then Wed. she lapsed into a coma, and died.

    My mom was sitting with her. We knew it was coming, but in the end it went way faster than expected. She had just been moved to the nursing home 3 days before.

    I am thankful she didn't have to linger on in extreme pain, or in a coma, but i am already missing her so, my head knows it was time, but my heart dosesn't want to let go.

    Thanks for listening,
    Misty

  2. Busyknitter2

    Busyknitter2 New Member

    So sorry to hear about the lose of your Grandma. You are right she is not in any pain and in a wonderful place.

    I also understand what you mean about missing her already. You head tells you that you don't want her to suffer, but your heart doesn't want to be with out her.

    Keep your wonderful thoughts of her and in your heart. You and your family are in my prayers.

    God bless; Pam
  3. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    Please accept my sympathy and condolences on your loss. She sounds like a special person.
  4. 143alan

    143alan New Member

    I pray the Lord will give you strength during this difficult time. There are certain people in all our lives that no matter how much we're prepared or may even know it's a blessing for them to pass so that they don't have to suffer, it doesn't seem to ease the pain of losing them.

    My brother passed away 11/13/05 at the age of 45 after suffering for many, many years and I was so happy that he was not in pain anymore, but my heart was broken that he was gone. The main thing everyone said was: "At least he's not suffering anymore." I agree he's not, but it doesn't make me less sad for losing him.

    I didn't have any grandparents that I knew but I can imagine that it must be a very special relationship. I will be praying for you.

    Take Care
    Nancy
  5. sixtyslady

    sixtyslady Member

    so sorry to hear about your Grandma,
    mine was the most important person in my life,shes been gone for almost 40yrs,but I still think of her everyday she taught me so much about life.
    I guess thats why I"m trying so hard to help my Grandson right now.
    the world would be a sad place without Grandmas.

    you will always have your good memories,and you"ll have her in your heart, blessings sixtyslady
  6. kgangel

    kgangel New Member

    It is never easy to say goodbye to our loved ones. I am so sorry for all you have to endure.

    I will be praying that God will be with you all to give you strength , healing and blessings

    hugs

    kgangel
  7. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    busyknitter, Asa, Manager, emttoni, sixtyslady, Kgangel
    Thanks, You are all so right!

    She is special, the good and the bad, she was a recovered alcoholic, and very fiesty right up to the very end, when she kicked some of the nurses out of her room! LOL
    Irish, with flaming red hair, and snapping green eyes.
    She lived with us off and on when i was a child. Always full of fun, but could definitly bite too.

    I feel free to just focus on the good, and the many long phone calls we had in the last 2 years. She alway supported my decision to be a stay at home mom, and never made me feel guilty about being ill. She just could never understand why those Dr. couldn't do something more to make me better.

    Sixtyslady, i believe your a really good grandma!
    emttoni, sorry about your mom, glad she waited for you.

    Thank you, each one for your blessings, and prayers
    Hugs,
    Misty

    After i got "the phone call" on Wed. I picked up my bible and just flipped it open at ecclesiastes chpt. 12. It talks about the problems of old age, but than says,
    "but your spirit will return to God who gave it."

    The final advise at the end is to simply, honor God, and obey His commands.

    Then i flipped over to: 1John3:23-24

    This is what God commands; that we believe in His Son, Jesus Christ, and that we love each other, just as he commanded.
    Wow! There it all is! Thank you Lord!

    1John3:11 This is the teaching we have from the beginning, We must love one another.
    And that if we believe in Jesus, and have faith, we overcome the world! 1john 5:1-5

    I know she believed in Jesus, even tho she didn't have everything worked out and settled.

    Love!!





    [This Message was Edited on 03/02/2007]
  8. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad to cancer just a year and a half ago and he went way faster than we expected. It is never easy no matter what the circumstances are.

    Was this your mom's mom? I will pray for comfort for your family. I know when the initial shock is over you will eventually take comfort in the good memories that you had of her.

    Love,
    Nancy
  9. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Thank you, yes this was my mom's mom. Sounds like alot of us have lost loved ones to cancer.

    I've been following your miracle man story, praying you get your IV's again real soon.

    I have no idea how you survived a bus trip with kids!!
    Wow!

    Blessings and prayers,
    Misty
  10. alaska3355

    alaska3355 New Member

    for your loss. Death always takes us by surprise, but the good news is that you'll see her again. And she will have flaming red hair and snapping green eyes! Take care.....
  11. pepper

    pepper New Member

    I am so sorry that you have lost your Grandma. I too lost my Grandma, my mom and more recently three of my husband's siblings to cancer. It is an insidious disease. Thank God that she did not linger. That makes it so much harder for everyone, especially the person who is suffering.

    Your Grandma sounds like a very special lady. And I am sure that the wonderful memories will live on with you. The fact that she was so supportive of you must be a comforting memory itself.

    In sympathy,
    Love, Pepper
  12. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Hi Mist,

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your Grandmother. I hadn't realized that she was so sick. I'm glad that you were able to communicate with her a lot in the last few years.

    One of my Grandmothers became blind in her last years. She had a visual hunger for the flowers, and things growing that she loved.

    I used to send her letters describing every color, and change in the season. She asked people to read them to her many times. She said I was painting her 'word pictures'.

    This meant so much to me, because our family had been split apart for over 15 years. It was such a joy to me to comnnect with her, and build such a special relationship with her.

    Sending you my Sympathys for your loss.
    Love, Judy
  13. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Thank you, each one of you, for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.


    Judy, That term "visual hunger" what a excellant word discription!
    I wrote my Grandma a letter about a month ago, and the day before she died i noticed she had it in her bible.

    It blessed me knowing that it blessed her. Between that and you sharing about connecting with your Grandma thur writing has given me a wonderful idea!!

    My Grandfather, who lives in a trailer house next to my parents, is also failing, and has also lost his eye sight!

    I have lost all connection with him, because he's lost his eyes sight, hearing, and starting his memory. And has become very reclusive. I alway give him a big hug when i see him, but it's very hard to communicate with him.

    At least i had a relationship with my Grandma, in someways it's like my grandfathers already gone, and i just have childhood memories,
    Anyways, I'm going to start writing him letters, like you did with your grandma. My mom can read them to him.

    Thanks Judy!!! He must have visual hunger too!!

    Littleblue, thanks, my oldest son has pretty strawberry brown colored hair. Some of the other great-grands got red hair too, so it skipped two generations. LOL

    I hope your mom is doing okay??

    Hugs, too all of you, and Blessings,
    Misty


  14. Lms526

    Lms526 New Member

    Hi Misty,
    I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. I know how hard a loss like that can be. I was very close my grandparents on my mother's side. My grandpa died of lung cancer (which had spread to his stomach and brain) and was also on morphine. He was given 2 months to live when he was diagnosed and that's almost to the day what he lived. It was the first time I'd ever had to deal with the death of a close relative. I was SO angry with God after that happened. I had a ton of people praying for my grandpa and felt like God let me down in my darkest hour. But now, I can see that God was very merciful. My grandpa was in terrible pain and could have lingered for months. It was an act of mercy that he died so quickly. The same thing basically happened with my grandpa. We all knew his death was coming. The worst part for me was knowing I was eventually going to get a call saying he'd died, but not knowing exactly when. There are still many times when I miss my grandparents. Especially at Christmas and on special occassions like weddings and birthdays and parties. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but the pain does lessen with time. But you have to be willing to let yourself greive the loss. There is no set timetable. Some people move through the grief process faster than others. Also, don't be surprised if people say things that unintentionally hurt you. They mean well....they just don't know what to say. I had a friend after my grandpa died tell me that Jesus still raises the dead today. That made me kind of angry, but I knew my friend had nothing but the best of intentions, so I didn't say anything.

    My grandma died very unexpectidly in March of 2004. In fact, the anniversary of her death was yesterday. I stayed busy pretty much all day yesterday, so I didn't really have much time to think about it. We aren't sure exactly how she died, but we are pretty sure it was a massive stroke. She'd already had a series of mini-strokes prior to that. On the day she died, she had just been to the doctor an hour before. The doctor told her she was doing better. An hour later, she was dead.

    When someone you love dies, even if it's expected, there is a hole that forms in your heart. The pain lessens with time, but that hole never really goes away. Just be gentle to yourself and don't put too much pressure on yourself to "get over it" quickly. Just allow yourself to grieve and talk when you need. I would also recommend sharing your pain, grief, anger or whatever with God. One thing that has really helped me is to journal. First, I write whatever is on my heart or mind. Then I simply be still and listen to what God has to say to me. I don't hear an audible voice. But I have come to know His still small voice very well. You always have to ask yourself if what you hear lines up with Scripture. Just pour your heart out to Him. He is big enough to handle any emotion you may have. I have also found that He can even handle things like anger and frustration.

    You will be in my prayers. Take care of yourself!

    ((((Misty))))

    Lms526
    [This Message was Edited on 03/05/2007]