I made it thru another weekend...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Suzan, Aug 19, 2007.

  1. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    The weekends are the toughest..although this one I lucked out a bit..he worked till 4 on Saturday..and took off for about 3 hours on Sunday...
    I found out he has put up a myspace page..and in the history on the computer..he had about 6 women he had 'checked out' in our area...and 2 he had messaged.

    So, now the gloves are off.

    Two weeks after he made his little 'announcement' he is already LOOKING for something ...sex I imagine..and I don't know if he will act on it ..or will even be able to. The photo he put up is BAD..he looks very OLD, and not very appealing..and lists all his hobbies..all very MALE things..Even dumb enough to list himself as MARRIED..and just starting a divorce...Gosh that should scare ANYONE off..LOLOLOL

    I stayed very strong ...and a couple times he even made some benign comment to me..and I didn't even bother to respond.

    My sweet son shared some time with me last night..I made a home made Margarita Pizza ( I do love to cook!) with fresh tomato sauce and basil from our garden..It was SO good.Real meals haven't happened much for me in the last two weeks.
    Anyway..we ate together down stairs in 'his apartment'..and he put in a movie..and we shared that too. I had about 2.5 hours of time..that almost felt like a vacation! It was so NICE!

    This week I am attacking the legal part of all this.

    I stopped a cop on Saturday..and explained my situation..and he gave me 3 names of local lawyers...and then told me to call the County Atty. , Give her his name..and ask for the names of aggressive divorce lawyers...So that is what I will do.

    I feel I need someone who will go after every nickle that I am legally entitled to. It looks as though I can get money from him for 14 years...that would make me 68,5 years old...and able to get medicare...YIPPEE..that would be wonderful...

    Plus I love the idea of taking his money for the rest of his working days...I can go after his Pension too..and "his' 401K...etc etc...So..I care little about the THINGS in the house..it is the money later that will be my big goal..

    I just keep thinking years from now..he will still be writing checks to ME. There is a lot of justice in that!

    If you pray..or send positive energy...send for me thoughts of finding the perfect lawyer...

  2. ksp56

    ksp56 Member

    What a nightmare you are being forced to go through. It sounds as if you are strong, and it will be okay, even when you don't feel that way!

    I'm very glad you have such a fine son. My son (19) has always been able to deal with my situations better than his 25 y/o sister. She is a wonderful young woman, but hates seeing anyone hurt. So, she shys away at times.

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as your children. I will also being sending much POSITIVE energy! BOOGA BOOGA to your husband's mid-life crisis!

    Booga Booga is a phrase, my cancer buddies and I used back in the mid '90's'. Like sticking our tongues out! LOL I find it useful in other situations, as in yours!

    I'll check in to see how you are doing... Go get that attorney, Girl!!!!!

    Gentle hugs,

  3. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    so sorry it's come to this. Your husband seems to be chasing his youth again - My Space, for goodness sake!!

    Yes you have to get yourself a good lawyer and make sure you get what you're entitled to.

    It's going to be a hard road for you but you can do it. Love your photo by the way.

  4. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.

    Glad you got through another tough weekend. I wonder if you can ask Rockgor the best way to find a great lawyer? Also, you might want to know the best questions to ask a lawyer before hiring one, such as how many cases he or she has won, etc.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong!!

    Warm hugs,

    [This Message was Edited on 08/20/2007]
  5. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    I was just going to post to you to see how things are going.....so I was happy to see this post!

    You are doing such a wonderful job with this entire situation and you should be very proud of yourself!

    As far as his myspace page goes.......let it go......don't let that get in the way of your progress......he is not happy with himself and is looking for someone else to fix the unhappiness...........

    he will never find that until he admits it is "HIS" deficiency!

    I actually think it will be good for him to go ahead and find out the hard way that things are not always greener on the other side!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He is in for a rude awakening!

    In the mean time I agree with your moving things along with the divorce.........NO WAY should he be able to continue to have things so that everything is a convenience for him........he wants out .........."then he needs to leave".....he wants his cake and eat it too......

    if he can stay put then that gives him financial freedom to have things easy for him.......he does NOT deserve to have anything easy!

    It would serve him right to have to move out.....and take care of you too!

    If you get a good lawyer and move forward.....his "great time" will come to a screeching halt

    "Oh and make sure the court knows that he "did not sign up to be a caretaker when he married you" ....that is enough to make any judge rule in your favor!

    Iam so happy that you are hanging in there........thank you so much for staying here with us and allowing us to help you make it through this................

    Iam here for you ............please know that ;)

    Hugs and of course prayers coming your way!
  6. Suzan

    Suzan New Member

    So far today I am struggling to get the positive anger and energy working for me..

    In part, all the stress has caused my son distress...he didn't sleep last night..and took the day off today...He has told his father he wants no part in the 'business deal' that is being worked on...He has told me that he is going to go back to Wisconsin..when is the only question.

    I think that his distress is just so heartbreaking ..and it makes his father's 'choices' so much more awful...

    I did call two lawyers...so far no appointment..I guess lawyers are busy huh?

    Maybe I can post to Rock???and get some ideas of the right questions to be asking...good idea thanks..

    I so appreciate you all who are reading and posting to me...on the rough days...I read the words you write to me..and it does help me stay strong.

    Last night, dh 'had to talk' to me...I think there were 5 or 6 things he brought up..at the end of it I realized that what he was referring too...really has everything to do with how uncomfortable he is in his home...because I am not behaving how he thought I would...
    And get this..
    at the end of his 'discussion'..."he said well I am going to Kroger after work..so if you make me a list I will get what you want"...

    I did have him get a few things...but only necessities...olive oil, butter, potatos..carrots...should be interesting to see what HE thinks he NEEDS.


    He still has no clue what he is going to be losing...and I don't think he even realizes that he has already lost it...

  7. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    and thought I would suggest you print all info you find on-line - including pages that show he has emailed or messaged women. It can't hurt to start your own file:)

    It sounds like you are handling your situation well and with your son's help and love you will make it through just fine.


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