I need a friend who really understands

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by FreeiAM, Apr 13, 2013.

  1. FreeiAM

    FreeiAM New Member

    Hi! I used to be online here a long time ago...but sorta disappeared but...I'm baccckkk! lol

    I have lupus,Fibro,Neuropathy in both legs, cervical stenosis and a few other things...my days are full as I read alot and I also do alot of Bible study... I find myself saying goodbye to those who didn't care and praying that the Lord would heal me...I think that has been the worse thing..having to deal with those who didn't understand how bad I was feeling and having to put up with their cold, unkind attitudes. Do you go thru this too? I used to work in an Assisted Living facility and I used to take care of alot of people who were suffering so much..and now..here I am ....its hard to get used to feeling this way...SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO SCREAM....
  2. ameilie73

    ameilie73 Member

    I read your post, i find it difficult to put into words how i responded to it because i can identify with the feelings of frustration, anger and even rage for me. My immediate family are like the people who you describe in my life. I found feelings towards them are a battle of conflict. Some days i feel sad that they cannot love and understand how i would like them to. I want them to love me as much as i love them. Sometimes i can accept that they are unable to not because they are evil but because they are not programmed the same as i. I find them, very self centred and absorbred and very intolerant of others illness, even though they expect people to treat them with care an understanding to an extent where they can suck you dry. Every time i spoke about myself they referred the coversation back to them ( very annoying and draining )

    Its hard to accept or understand that the people you want kindness from or a little understanding from are incapable of it, for whatever reason genetics or upbringing. And when i forget this i can have emotional battles with myself. Sometimes getting really angry at the injustice. But they were like this before i got sick, i just didnt notice it because i was the one doing all the doing.

    I live on my own and although i can still fall into the trap of emotionally abandoning myself when around these people, i manage to come back to myself. If you can pour all that care you put into everyone else and revert it back to you, take care of you, emotional support and comfort youself you will be better off.

    Sadly some people are incapable of giving that kind of support or for whatever warped reason, and maybe those sort of people will plough through life emotionally dealing with it better. But i tell you this, people who care, who can stand in anothers shoes ( but doesnt forget to stand in their own) are alot easier to be around.

    Sadly emotion does tie us to the very individuals who treat us badly. We are only human be gentle with yourself. And when you find your head wandering and the old feelings arising all i can do is try and recognise it and bring yourself back to the here and now. It is sad that we end up in these situations. I read a daily reflections book called the language of letting go, a book called Awareness by Antony Demello helped to. And keeping a diary so you dont lose touch with yourself and can see whats going on for you. Writing things down helps me alot.

    and i scream into my pillow sometimes or when im in the car. It isnt an easy card to live with that we've been dealt, it would be more helpful to have people who have the same characters us around us. Actually you will find the people who are like you describe are often drawn to people like us because their own kind wouldnt tolerate them when they are ill or have problems ;-)

    Its nice to meet you

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  3. windblade

    windblade Active Member

    Welcome back!

    I know what you mean about the isolation, and people not understanding, most Dr's included. It is one of the worst things about CFS/fibro. It can make me feel invisible.

    One of the ways I fight that is by coming here - everyone understands, and is living out the same reality. There is community. The boards are slower than they used to be - less people now. Perhaps because there are more sites available now. But the chat board is a great place just to share about everyday things - lovely people there. And the CFS/fibro board - people work hard in helping each other and sharing info.

    And here there is a small group of people who pray, and share also from their lives. You can put a prayer request on the thread of that name by windblade, or write a seperate post, and we will faithfully pray for you!

    I'm a reader too - love books of many kinds. And also the bible and other spiritual writings help me a lot to live with this reality.

    Lifting you up in prayer now for all the particulars in your life that God knows all about.