I need a hug please!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kaymac, Dec 23, 2002.

  1. kaymac

    kaymac New Member

    I am having one of those days and need a hug really bad from those who truly understand what I am going through.

    I have been reading all the posts from this weekend. I so relate to everything here. My problem is I have so much to do, and the wrong body to do it with! I have "overdone" it several times these past couple of weeks, preparing for Christmas. My last 2 trips to town on a Saturday left me sore, achy, sick, and exhausted!

    So again on Saturday I trot off to town to finish up with DH. I am there from 11:30 to almost 6, taking 2 breaks. But all the same I hit the couch that night with sever muscle and joint pain and exhaustion. Sunday I try for monrning services at Church but sleep all afternoon after taking pain meds, and miss Sunday night Church. I am still feeling the aftereffects of what used to be a casual and regular outing for me! My arms and legs feels extremely heavy and weak. My joints ache, I feel feverish again (as most evenings), just so exhausted, it hurts to breathe in!

    I am scared of where I am going with this. I have learned this past few months, that I can't clean house in one day, and now can't shop in one day. What next? I love my family, and thank them for their kindness thus far, but I don't sense they really understand, and do sense they are scared for me, yet more so for them. They hear me all the time complain. How can you not complain?? I don't like these changes. I thought I could beat this. That in a year it would wane and/or get better?? I mean I swallow all their meds, and still feel like crap. I don't see good days. All bad???

    So can I have a hug today please!!!

  2. darlamk

    darlamk New Member

    Hi Kaymac, I think a lot of us are feeling the same way. It is scarey. I am trying to get my messy house cleaned now too & feel like *!@#. I just lit a candle & cranked up the Xmas tunes on the stereo so maybe that will help! I hardly did any shopping this year. I think our perfectionist attitudes makes us think we have to have everything "perfect" for the holidays but in truth our families would probably like us to feel good & have fun with them! Take a deep breath, a long hot bath, a pain pill if needed and get some rest! May the peace of the season be with you now and throughout the new year!
  3. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    You have every right to complain! This is a very stressful time of year for someone who feels "well", so it's that much worse for people in pain. We went out today to do some errands and the traffic was horrendous! I came down with a headache and couldn't wait to get home. I walk slower and have less tolerance for crowds. So come home, take your shoes off, put your feet up and have some nice, hot tea.

    I also thought the FMS would go away. Well, I learned that it doesn't. We just have to take one day at a time. Every day is different. I can't clean my house in one day, I can't "shop till I drop" anymore and have to move slower. I just have to think about the good things in my life - what else can I do?

    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas - you deserve it!

  4. sewdeb1

    sewdeb1 New Member

    I am a massage therapist with Fibromyalgia, but not as bad as many. I have been trying lots of different things, some with no help and some with moderate success. But I started a friend on something...she has Fibro really bad, couldn't even touch her own arms, and pain everywhere...After one month she was feeling great, after two she was helping her mom move and was running with her kids. She can't believe the difference.
  5. CelticLadee

    CelticLadee New Member

    So sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. The holiday expectations certainly add to our problems. I have a strong stubborn streak that is keeping me in check. I'm just getting to feel somewhat good after a bad 4 month episode in CFIDS. My motto: I will not do too much and suffer from this holiday season. Fortunately my family is easy going and has let me off the hook so to speak. Maybe cause I am new to all this so they are more gracious? Anyway, I certainly hope you will give yourself a break and not drive yourself so hard. You deserve to kick back and heal. Just ask yourself this question: Will it matter 10 years from now? A lot of stuff will fall off your back as you answer that question. It does sound like you have been doing too much. Can you treat yourself to some relaxing and lounging at home so your body can recoop? You have to be kind to your body. You deserve it. Please take care. Please get some rest. Please eat good nutritional food and help your body heal. We all would like to know that you are feeling better. No one, not your family or friends wants you to sacrifice your health - that is something that matters 10 years from now! Peace be yours my new friend.
  6. Shirl

    Shirl New Member

    You sound like I felt a few years ago. You need to learn to conserve your energy and quit over doing it.

    Take it from someone who has been there done that, and I don't want the tee shirt to prove it (I deserve a gold medal instead).

    Can you delegate some of the work/shopping etc? Thats what I learned to do, its still not easy as I like doing things myself, but I learned the hard way.

    Hope you are feeling better soon, but you need to slow your pace.

    I stated going to the evening services at church, as I am so foggy in the morning. I would have to get up at 7am to be functional at 10am for church, I just couldn't take it anymore. But don't try to explain this to 'normals', they just don't get 'it'.

    Do try and have a happy holiday season, and start pacing yourself now!

    Shalom, Shirl

  7. Rosario

    Rosario New Member

    Hi Kaymac. I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. This DD sure takes it's toll, particularly when we overdo or experience too much stress. I hope you manage to get some good rest and are able to enjoy the season. Gentle hugs from Rose.
  8. Cindi

    Cindi New Member

    Here's a {{{{{Soft Hug}}}}} for you :) I can relate to this SO well!! I've paced myself, shopped online and in catalogs, cut back on almost everything, delegated things to my hubby and kids, and am still in the worst flare
    ever :( Today I spent most of the day in bed, and I have no idea how I'll finish things that need to be done. My family does understand my limits, but I still have trouble accepting them!
    My youngest son has special needs, and has been very sick for the past two months. He almost ended up in the hospital last week!! Thankfully he's still at home, so this is the VERY BEST Christmas present for me!!! I'm focusing on this, and the REAL reason for the season...my dear Savior's birth!!
    Please hang in there, okay??

    God Bless,
  9. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    ...to you! Cindi, above, had some good suggestions about on-line & catalog shopping, etc., but I think we have also all been in the situation of doing what we think may just be OK, then wanting to just sneak in one more thing...& it's that one more thing that proves to be too much! I hope you can get some rest after the holidays & slow down some.....

    Many holiday hugs,
  10. karen55

    karen55 New Member

    Here's your {{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  11. Phoenixbard

    Phoenixbard New Member

    Take it easy, I wish it would all go away too. Hope you get to feeling better. Phx
  12. Betsy2

    Betsy2 New Member

    Give yourself a Christmas gift and make a New Years resolution. Number one, try not to be so hard on yourself. Do what you can but don't overdo it. Don't feel guilty for not doing it all. It only exsperates the pain. It is very hard to accept this illness when you were completely capable in years past. Just when I think I have accepted it, I slide back into an angry state even after 6 years. It doesn't happen as often as it used to but I certainly still get angry about this DD. I have had to learn to tune out what others think about the way I am feeling because they have never been there. One of the hardest lessons I have had to learn is to learn to say NO. Please remember to take care of yourself even if it means neglecting others a little more. God bless you. My prayers are with you.

  13. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    a big, soft and squishy hug is coming your way!!!!!!!!
    Darling, if you haven't already done so, check out the FlyLadies website....it has REALLY helped me since I quit working outside the home 5 weeks ago. Someone on this board hooked me up with the FlyLadies and it really has helped me stay organized and up to date with my tasks so that I don't have to do a mad dash for company. Check it out!!
    Happy Holidays!!!
    With love,
  14. phenom

    phenom New Member

    i know wot u mean by complaining - its hard not too. i feel like a baby sometimes with the amount of crying i do (hence the icon). i, like you, am grieving my old life where i could go out and do things all day and then feel only a little bit tired and sore. ancient history tho. you are in the right place. we all understand. lots of hugs for you and best wishes for a pain-free (well maybe not free, but substantially less pain) christmas and new year.

  15. firelite

    firelite New Member

    oh sweetie know how you feel, ive been going and going and going like the little bunny and today on christmas eve i spent 5 hours in bed crying from the pain while my family tried to make the best of it downstairs, i hated being the party pooper and missing out but i just couldnt do it anymore, also im suppose to be cooking for everyone tomorrow, but sis saw me and says shes going to help make it and for me to just sit this one out and rest. She lives with me but works sooooo hard at her job and comes home exhausted too and shows early signs of FMS as well, that i feel guilty. I did bake for everyone and also cooked thanksgiving dinner for everyone back in nov so she said it was my turn to rest. Ive been crying my eyes out and shaking from the pain, feel chills, my fibro fog is ONE MAJOR FOG, my brain cant function lol at all right now, i have guests spending the holidays over here as well so its going to be ONE mighty interesting few days lol. Please hang in there and if you cant do much DONT. Your health comes first, i know i cry from the pain, exhaustion and from guilt and maybe a bit of feeling sorry for myself , after all it is christmas, but, oh well this is me and they can see right thru me when im in pain so why hide it.
    Have a very merry christmas hun ((((((((((((((KAY)))))))))))))) and be good to yourself.
  16. DeeMerrk

    DeeMerrk New Member

    We, on this board all know very well what your feelings are. My heart goes out to you, as when I first came to this board, I was in the same place you are. One of the most difficult things to handle is the acceptance of what our lives are now. I still go through times when I feel as if I have reached the end of the world, and am going to fall off.

    It is given to us for what reason we do not know, but our part is to learn slowly to accept. This is not an easy task, and I do believe it is ongoing. There are some among us who have learned how to accept the challenge of the change we face, and they have done so much of the work by and for themselves, as there is really no magic pill. There are, however different methods that help some people so that they feel they are near to normal, or at least better than they thought they would ever be. Read all you can, measure your own endurance, and be armed to find ways to understand your limitations. I am not saying it is easy, it is not, but with patience with yourself, it will come.

    Just now, I am a little on my own, as my husband is not recovering very well from a really bad cold he has had. There were many things to do in the kitchen, but I slowly eased him out and returned to it by myself, and worked at a pace with which I was comfortable. I had to make a choice of completing the work in the kitchen, or wrapping some gifts. Knowing I could not do both, I finished the beef soup and chicken broth, finally cleared and made room in my refrigerator for all the citrus fruit that had been delivered and knew that the gifts were still there, they had not walked away! They can be done tomorrow. Then I made the choice to come to my computer and see if anyone was in need of a hug:

    AND THERE YOU WERE, IN NEED OF A HUG, AND INDEED MUCH MORE. So consider yourself hugged and cared for by all the others who answered you, and by: