I need a hug...(rant)

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Liz919, Nov 1, 2006.

  1. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    I had the day from absolute hell today. I had two tests, both of which I studied hard for, that I totally blanked on. They're my best classes too. I just can't believe I bombed on a psych test. Then is gets worse. I thought I had an apt with my advisor for 1:30 pm today...but apparently it was 11:30. I have missed my meeting with this woman every sinlge semester so far. She HATES my guts for it. So now she's going to fuss and lecture for forever before she gives me my pin number for registration. I was so dedicated to freaking getting there this time so she wouldn't be mad at me...and then I just screwed it all to hell. I hurt all over and my daughter has pink eye so I'm haveing to miss classes because she can't go to daycare. My house is absolutely trashed and my fiancee isn't really talking to me. I'm supposed to have my bedroom completely cleaned and taken apart so I can have my mom's hand me down king mattress so I can actually sleep at the same time as Brian. Then there's the chemistry assignment due on friday. There's no way I'm going to be able to do even 1/10 of it and I hurt. I've been healthy for a long time so now that I'm not again it's my fault or soemthing. Just because I got sick again doesn't mean that I'm allowed to not do everything for everyone and be everything all at the same time. I want to tear my own hair out and I can't remember the last time I had enough time to even take a shower. I'm disgusting my life is disgusting and my house is disgusting. I'm going to cry. I'm sorry I just need to rant.
  2. wish_to_be_healthy

    wish_to_be_healthy New Member

    It's OK....rant away, cry, stomp....

    Some days are like heck in a handbasket!

    Can you take some time to yourself after you put your daughter to bed? Take a nice hot bath? Decompress?

    It's OK LIZ... (hug)

  3. lptopcat

    lptopcat New Member


    I'm so sorry that your day has been so bad. Hope this is just one of the many hugs you will get from all these great people here.

    And I will include you in my prayers tonite that all of your tomorrows a better!!!!

    Go ahead and cry, let it out, it can be healthy for you.

  4. Cindyvr

    Cindyvr New Member

    Wishing you a better day tomorrow!!
  5. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Hi Liz919

    I read your letter and your profile. What a beautiful baby and what a busy life you have. No wonder you are stressing.

    FM for me really started after the birth of my first child. She was extremely colicky for months, hardly ever slept. That was the beginning of IBS and not being able to sleep for me.

    So I feel for you honey. I wish I could be there for you and take a turn looking after the little one so you could take a walk or soak in the tub.

    Just know that we are here and we are listening if you need to vent. Try and give yourself a break ok. School and motherhood is hard enough with FM too.

    hugs Redwillow
  6. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    Ok. I took apart my bed and scheduled the switch off of beds. Now working on Chemistry lab work. Stubbed my toe and it's bleeding but I feel a lot more in control of everything. Thanks for all the eHugs. I really needed them.
  7. Liz919

    Liz919 New Member

    Thanks for the advice. I already knew about that. My highschool made all sorts of concessions from attendence policies to letting me not do busywork (coloring maps etc). I really didn't want to do it for college as well. I've gotten through 2 semesters without it and I'm very reluctant to do the paperwork and jump through the hoops. I'm currently doing paperwork for Financial Aid and my daughters medicaid. I really dont have the time or energy to try to get another hand out and I already feel guilty enough for taking the other government hand outs. I'll get through it. Success through sheer stubborness is hereditary in my family! :)
  8. victoria

    victoria New Member

    sometimes it's helpful to just let off steam. Hope you can pull thru it all okay and in one piece... just remember to pace yourself.

    Wish I could suggest more, I know how hard it can be.

    all the best,

  9. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    and a college student is a lot for a healthy person to do.
    Don't be too hard on yourself.
  10. Callum

    Callum New Member

    You're accomplishing so much, and some of it still slips by. I know how hard it was to do college with CFS, and I didn't have a beautiful little baby to take care of!

    Best of luck to you! You're doing great.

  11. kriket

    kriket New Member

    HUGS to you. Hope you have a better day tomorrow!!!!!!!


  12. johnston

    johnston New Member

    messages to myself that I use/d to get through those days. I, too, had my baby while in school--nursing school; but the birth was in April and I graduated in June.
    "This, too, shall pass."
    "If everything was going to be perfect on earth, God would not have seen the need to create Heaven for us to look forward to."
    Hope that helps. Rhonda
  13. Gothbubbles

    Gothbubbles New Member

    You say something about handouts, and the other people hit all the other good points I was going to make lol so here's a new one!

    I live on less than $5000 a year. I do not have social security, though I am applying for it now. Why did I wait?

    Because I felt proud of myself for maintaining my independence. I didn't need HELP from people, and I certainly didn't need handouts.

    My voc rehab counselor convinced me to finally apply. Here's what she told me.

    There's nothing wrong with relying on other people, or getting help. Everyone does. No matter what they may think.

    Even the full-time-putting-themself-through-college student who earned it all themselves is relying on other people right now! In order to have a job, they rely on their employers to pay them. In order for their employer to have money to pay them, they rely on customers for money.

    In order for them to learn students rely on their professors to be educated and teach them. In order for professors to teach they rely on the college to employ them. In order for the college to exist, they rely on grants from the state, federal government, and alumni. They're a big organization that survives on handouts!

    So never ever feel bad or guilty about getting aid--it doesn't take anything away from anyone else, and you owe it to yourself and your baby. Anything that makes your life work better.

    I used to be so resistant to this, and i still have to talk myself out of it (it takes time and a consitent effort to change hard-set ways). But it has made a big difference in my life. Maybe it will help you too? I hope you have a better day tomorrow, and that things clear up for you
  14. kriket

    kriket New Member

    What great advice. Thanks for sharing!!!!

  15. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member



    Things will get better. I would just pace myself and what gets done, gets done. And what does not, well: it just does not get done.

    I know: easier said than done, but we all need our rest times to rejuvenate.


  16. mosherpit

    mosherpit New Member

    For taking on college and raising such a beautiful little girl. Are you going to school full time? I tried part time while raising my daughter and I just wasn't able to apply myself fully to it, she is now 18 and in college herself.

    As some of the others here have said, don't be so hard on yourself, you are taking on a LOT for someone without Fibro, so to be doing it with Fibro deserves an award in my book.

    I hope that you and your fiance are getting along better now and that he helps out around the house, he has responsiblities too, make sure he holds up his end.

    Love and hugs to you.

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