I need a job

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kathyr, Sep 4, 2003.

  1. kathyr

    kathyr New Member

    I am very worried and unhappy since being layed off in February. I can't seem to find a job. I worked to make it through college for six years and had three children at home. I thought I had landed my dream job and was making good money and had bought my first real home. After two years of trying my best at work I was layed off. I know it was because of the fibro. I had a real bad flare last summer and had to take 3 months of unpaid FMLA.

    I am 48 and have gained 30 pounds with the fibro. I feel like I can't find a job because I don't look good anymore or maybe I have some kind of personality flaw and that no one wants me around any more. I don't want to loose my house and my one son that is still home loves it where we live. Please pray for me that I find a job that will pay my bills. I feel very worthless right now and deeply depressed and scared of the future. I wish I could get a job helping other people like myself. Thank you all for listening.

    kathyr
  2. AnnetClo

    AnnetClo New Member

    I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. First of all, you are not worthless. It sounds as though it's time (if you're not already) to get some treatment for the depression. The reason I can say this is because I can SO identify with your feelings. I grew up with a father that told me on a daily basis that I would never amount to anything. That I was worthless. And I can't remember one time ever hearing "I love you" mentioned in our home. Not by anybody to anybody. I have always known I was a screwed up mess but thought I had learned to deal with it. You know if you build a tall enough wall around yourself and don't allow anybody in, you can make yourself believe anything. I used to tell people that if anyone ever said I had committed suicide they were lying and to start investigating. That as long as there was breathe in my body there was a solution to my problems. But when I was hit with this FM I was totally knocked off my feet. There were plenty of days that suicide didn't sound like such a bad deal. I felt worthless. I couldn't take care of my husband or my mom (I have always been the caretaker) so what good was it to stay in this world and deal with the pain and fatigue when I had nothing to offer. I finally talked to the doctor about it and he prescribed Paxil (naturally). He said he didn't think I needed to see a therapist/psychiatrist but I did anyway. Just talking to someone objective has helped a lot. I still feel worthless a lot of days, but never as low as before. Please call someone, talk to your doc, call your mental health department. These DD's are too debilitating alone to combine with depression.

    I will definitely send up a prayer.
    Hugs
    Annette
  3. kathyr

    kathyr New Member

    Thank you all for your prayers. I am a programmer/analyst with a bachelors degree in computer information systems.