I need advice, havn't been here for awhile..........

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kellygirl, Sep 26, 2005.

  1. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    I had eventually went back to school and am working, but not using my degree at my day job. I had been on disability years ago with CFS and have worked my way back. I do not believe my family really believes how bad this disease was and still is at times. I have a home-based business which has not taken off yet, but I work at it in my spare time. I do not get the emotional support from my spouse. My son is disappointed with me because I turned a job down where he is working. It was 9 -5 in an office with better pay and a growing company. They can't seem to understand I always worked in health care, I like working in direct care because it is flexible hours, I grab naps and have an elderly dog that needs me at home every few hours. I can interact with the older people. It is less stress. My home-based business is mostly dealing with the fibro population and explaining the digestive process. I am good at it and people seem happy to meet me, someone that understands them. I believe I am meant to do what I am doing. I have arthritis in my writing hand. If I overdo, I do get the cognitive problems. With 9 -5, I am stressed with trying to get everything done. Plus, I will have to give up my dream of my business, which my spouse wants anyway. I am so confused. I am in debt, but always have been and may always will be, and that is what everyone is looking at. I would appreciate the feedback. Thanks..............
  2. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    I don't think you need any advice! You just need to read your own post again. You are clearly on a healthy path for yourself with the home business you are building (and love) and the part-time work in healthcare.

    Your family is unhappy with your choices--probably because you made them. There must be a history there of you going along with what they want and they aren't quite ready for you to change.

    At least the old dog is happy! That's important too!

    I imagine the stress that made you sick in the first place had something to do with ignoring your own needs to keep the peace in your family.

    Anyway, I see myself in your post. I spent a few years with a wonderful counselor. She made me listen to what I was saying until I understood myself. The result was that I developed a backbone!!

    I couldn't work a 9-5 job anymore and wouldn't want to--too stifling and too exhausting. I'm doing a home-based business fulltime and I love it.

    Take care!

  3. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    makes you happy and feeling better.

    You seem to be better now that you focus on you and what makes you happy.

    If you feel you need to explain to them.

    I would ask them if they liked it better when you were down and out from this DD.Or if they prefer it now that your feeling better and can do things that you love and make you happy.

    I wish you continued wellness and happiness.

  4. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    As I'm sure you know, there are many here that cannot work at all due to FMS/CFIDS and other medical problems. I think that being able to work at all is an accomplishment when you are dealing with fatigue, pain, etc. every day. I think it's important to like what you do-it certainly makes it easier.

    I still work part-time-morning only at a small college. I have the summers off. I really love my job. I work in one of the academic bldgs. and it is a pretty layed-back job. I could try for disability, but there's no guarantee that I would get it and I would hate to give up this job. Being able to work makes me feel useful and the paycheck sure is great.

    Sorry to ramble. I guess my point is is that if you like what you are doing and feel you are doing something worthwhile, then it's good for you mentally. And we all know that you mental state definitely affects your physical state. Sounds like your family needs to read more about FMS (assume that's what you have). Then they would hopefully understand how difficult it is for us to work a 9 to 5 job every day. When I tried to do this, I was exhausted and falling asleep at my desk.

  5. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I agree with the others, keep on doing what makes you happy.

    Don't let your family or anyone else lead your life for you.

    I can't work and I would love to. Working from home seems ideal for you and you are able to nap when you need to and take care of your dog.

    Of course, if the 9-5 job will give you a room with a bed and allow you to take your dog there, then you could always reconsider.

  6. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    I don't think my spouse and kids ever really believed I was as sick as I was from 1981 onward. I even had disability the first try! I had counseling and had formed a CFS/FMS support group along the way. I HAD to go outside of the family to get the emotional support I need. Thank you for being here. I do feel the love.........
  7. smiffy79

    smiffy79 New Member

    you know whats right for you and whats making you happy and you know what the strict 9-5 with strip lighting will do to you.
    goodluck with your business,and personally i would make my husbands negativity work in my favour. how dare he!
    who says you will always be in debt?
    i am going to train to be a dog trainer and hopefully have my own business in dog training, im looking forward to doing this as its what i love, its for me, it was my idea and two fingers to any one who says i cant or wont!


  8. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    I keep popping in from my home health clients and checking the Boards. Wow, dog-training, cool........I love my border collie!
  9. kellygirl

    kellygirl Member

    My border collie is, I am guessing, about 14, I rescued her 12 years ago. She was abused and aggressive at the time. So, no jumping through hoops for her! LOL

    I find the encouragement I need on these boards and any information I am looking for. We all have a story to share.

    Now, if anyone can tell us how to live without money, I'm listening.............
  10. jennypee

    jennypee New Member

    Even when your family doesn't understand.

    I have a loving family that tries, but they really have no idea what it's like to live in my body. I've finally had to accept that this disease requires me to be what I've always percieved as "selfish." I have to think of my health first in order to be of any use at all to my family.

    I try to remember the rule in airplanes about putting the oxygen mask on yourself before you put one on your kid.

    Take care of yourself.

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