I haven't been on this sight very long, but already it has given me so much hope. But I must confess to feeling like somewhat of a dummy. I've been dx'd for 5 years and until this sight, I have been so alone. And I know so little. Now that my daughter is sick, I feel real pressure to not be a dummy anymore. I spent half this morning searching out info for her school problems and got nothing at all, but what this sight, this board could provide. And My panic attack this afternoon must have lasted 4 hrs. I could barely move and my 5yr old son was torturing me with sheer energy alone. Then, tonight I had to compfort a friend long distance, whose husband is a marine in Iraq, on the front line. Its her anniversery. My husband and I were the best man and matrain of honor at thier wedding. She has no real family except for her hubby. And very few friends because shes really shy. She was trying to be strong for her 2 little kids, but she was so terrified. I knew she was alone, and so I had to call. And it all makes me so sick inside. My husband would be there too, if I wasn't sick. Bad as I felt today, it's the first time I've ever felt kind of glad I'm sick. But I can't sleep. Sick inside about all the people over there we know and care about. Today I feel older than my great grandma. Tired and way over my head. Is it too much to ask that I not always have 30 things heaped on my head at once - sometimes? Hey, I know....How about something come easy for me just every now and then? But really, I HATE WAR..ANY WAR . There is truly nothing to be solved by death, but more suffering, and right now, I've had enough of all the suffering, and the indifference that usually comes along with it. I don't want to have to explain, fight for research or cry about the right to feel as good as possible, and like any other humanbeing on this planet. I can't take argueing with the people who are suppost to love me, about how bad I feel, and how much help I need, and understanding I am so D tired of all of it. Who in the cosmos came up with this maddness anyway? I know I'm whining loud enough for the moon to hear me, and I know I need to take a breath, but I'm hyperventalating. Thanks for the ear.