I need proof for my husband

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Sheila1366, Oct 2, 2005.

  1. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    My husband thinks I am still this young stupid girl he married almost 18 years ago.He is older so he treats me like I have no brain.
    Anyway.Is it true or not true that fms/cfs lowers your immune system?I though it lowered your immune system but he says the opposite.
    I hope I am right.I can show him once again that I am smart and he is stupid.But if I am wrong I will let him wonder.It might even encourage him to look up info.on fms and learn a little bit.
  2. MKlady

    MKlady New Member

    My understanding is that FMS and CFS are the result of a compromised immune system. Anyone else?
  3. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    H Sheila,

    I bet that game gets old! My husband is competitive in a bad way, too. I always ask him, "Would you rather be happy or right?" He always says, "Right." And that's when I break it to him that he's wrong again.

    If you have some blood results on hand, you can look at the immunoglobulin M. The normal range is 48-271mg/dl. Mine is 33 and that means my immune systme isn't working. The other one you can look at is the NK Cells (natural killer cells.) The report I have shows the normal range to be 20-50. Mine turned up at 8.70. There are probably other tests that show your immune system is compromised.

    Also, if you are on antidepressants, your immune system is already being bolstered by them. Same with vitamins.

    I might be tempted to tell him that whether fms/cfs lowers your immune system is IRRELEVANT. What is important is that you are in pain and too tired to participate. He should bring you flowers and a movie to watch.

    Did you show him the Spoons story that's been posted here recently? You can do a search and it will pop up. You might print that out for him to read. It tells you exactly what it's like to have a chronic pain and fatigue syndrome.

    Take care!

  4. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    This is off the subject bu I looked at yuor bio and I see you started an internet buisness.I am interested in doing the same thing.I go tom. to our local women's resource center to get info. on starting a buisness if you are a female.I am looking for grants.

    Can you share some advice with me? I would geratly appreciate it.I desperately want to start something that will support me and my girls and to be self sufficient finacially.


    PS.I can't find your website.What is on it?[This Message was Edited on 10/02/2005]
  5. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    mean proof you have pain. Here I had this really mean way to show him. BUT
    that wasn't the question, oh well.

    Ebay is an excellent way to make money from home. They have classes online and they go to various cities
    to give in person lessons also. But even if you don't want to open an Ebay store you can do well just selling. I was going to at one point and cleared out my closet to get start up money, but then we were going to move and I let it slide. I may still do it yet though.
  6. Alyndra

    Alyndra New Member

    Mine just doesn't exist. Even before I had the DX of FM my immune system was in the sub zero category.

    I'm in that 1% of the population that gets sick from a flu shot.

    Just the fact that you're the one of with FM - yet he thinks you don't know anything about it? Makes him a grade A (fill in the blanks), in my opinion.

    If he thinks that having FM is going to make people super immune to everything but pain? He's certifiably stupid.

    When he treats you like that, because there's no way you deserve it - remind him that although he's older, it's the mind that'll go first ;)

  7. hob

    hob New Member

    if your husband reads have him read, Beyond Chaos. It is a book written by a husband whose with has fibro. it changed my husband's understanding of the disease.
  8. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    I was married to an older man also. He didn't think I was very smart either. We had been married for ten years and I decided to go back to college.
    I graduated in the top 10% of my class. He actually said I didn't know you were that smart. We got a divorce.
  9. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    Maybe we can meet in chat and exchange email addresses. I'm happy to help you anyway I can. I'm usually checking into chat early in the AM--Seattle time. What time is good for you? Looking forward to chatting!

  10. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    an equal.I think that it's like anything else-some do and some don't
  11. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    Well, I know I got you all to back me up.Thanks!

    My husband just wants to be right and respected.He has no desire to understand this or learn about it.I have asked him to look up info. on it but he doesn't.

    I am starting to back away and not wait on him hand and foot.I was raised that you take care of your husband like a child.I think he is starting to get it.Who knows.

    I am tired of the game, so tired.I am starting to get tired of him.I am tired of his temper,him constantly needing to have attention,him proving me wrong etc.And I have no desire for___.It hurts sometimes and I really don't care about it anymore.

    I am gonna look into that ebay store.I got some funny ideas,I think.I have been told I was funny.Humor is a good way to hide how you feel and try to make light of a horrible situation.

  12. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    These illnesses cause an imbalance in the immune system in which one side becomes overactive and the other side underactive. Some of us haven't had colds or viruses for years and yet suffer from chronic infections.

    We have enough on our plates as it is. We don't need spouses demanding proof we are sick. It would be more helpful if he were to give you support and help instead of insisting on a technicality. This goes to the very basis of healthy relationships in which partners trust and have faith in one another. I don't mean to sound harsh, but even the world's experts have been trying to come up with this proof. That they have not been very successful doesn't mean our illnesses don't exist. Chasing proof is like a dog chasing its tail. The energy could be spent on better things.

    Can ya guess I'm single :)

    Love, Mikie

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