I need some advice from moms

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by taniazcatz, May 4, 2006.

  1. taniazcatz

    taniazcatz New Member

    I need help with a problem with my 1 year old son. He has started this horrible habit of biting. He bites me, the cats and he tries to bite the dog but she is able to get away from him quickly. I have told him no strongly, then I smacked his hand and told hiom no that was wrong you dint bite. But he is ignoring me. I even tried a time out and that didnt phase him.

    This is my first and only child and any advice you all can provide will be so appreciated. I look forward to reading your suggestions.

    Thanks

    tania
  2. ilovepink4

    ilovepink4 Member

    kids are either biters or not! it has nothing to do with your parenting....so don't blame yourself....i didn't have a biter out of 4 kids so i was lucky....i guess you just have to continue to do what you are doing...and don't bite him back...he won't 'get it' at his age....and i would try this...any time he bites, withdraw your attention from him...like set him down and ignore him...don't look at him...make it obvious you are ignoring him....maybe put him in a pack and play so you can turn your back...like a little timeout....but, don't use his bed or highchair...

    i wish i had some good advice...i just want you to know that biters happen to anyone...it has nothing to do with you being a good mom or not!!! don't blame y9ourself...it is very frustrating....i am sure you will get some good advice from other moms here...

    take care! pink
  3. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    Biting isn't funny, but my story is....when I was 4, my neighbor and best friend was 2. He was a biter! I was told to bite hime right back....it worked fast! Once he he got a taste of his own medicine he stopped. I know this might not be the best solution or the most popular, but in that case it worked.
  4. ritatheresa

    ritatheresa New Member

    My daughter is now 10 and I went through that when she was younger.

    Have you ever watched Nanny 911, that woman is amazing, I get alot from that show.

    My sister also has 3 little ones and they kill each other.

    From experience I know when I discipline my daughter when I'm angry she feeds off of it (negative attention). When I stay calm, cool and collected the situation becomes much more bearable. Although when your really exhausted it's difficult to say the least.

    Maybe try talking to your son when he bites, tell him "we don't bite", give him a time out and then again when the time out is finished tell "we don't bite" and see how it works. Remember, try not to freak out!! :)

    My sister's youngest is a biter and she also tries to divert his attention.

    I know it's difficult, I hope I helped alittle, if nothing else know your not alone, discipline is hard!!!
    Take care, Ritatheresa
  5. UnicornK

    UnicornK New Member

    He made his son bite soap whenever he bit someone else. Took some time, but the kid did learn not to bite!

    God Bless.

    PS: I was the victim of a biter when I was little. My Mom said I would come home with teeth marks on my shoulder. I don't know if they ever got the girl to quit biting. LOL
  6. spacee

    spacee Member

    My mother bit me back and I stopped!

    Hugs, Spacee
  7. intensemom

    intensemom New Member

    with this problem...my daughter. I bit her back and she quit biting!! She is now 7 and has no emotional scars from this event!

    Good Luck!
    Tracy
  8. jenni4736

    jenni4736 New Member

    Tania,

    I have three children of my own (15g,9b,5b).I have had my own licensed daycare for about 14 years now. (I am stopping this summer due to my body).

    Anyway, this is a common occurance at this age. Your son is big enough to know what he wants, but probably doesn't have the vocalization and words to communicate it. This leads to frustration on his part so he bites.

    I recommend addressing the communication side of this. Point to your mouth and say "the word" he is trying to communicate. If he is biting because he want a toy from another child, you might try getting him to say "PLEASE" or something to that nature (before he bites). If he continues to try to bite, immediatly REMOVE HIM from that situation.

    Try to put a word to EVERYTHING he wants. Point to your mouth and say bottle, cup, ball, bite, cookie, bird, etc. When you have the item he wants, he will pay more attention to your mouth and will be more likely to attempt the word. Understand it will be his "version" of the word, but if he attempts it, he gets the reward of the item.

    If he is biting your shoulder, he is getting your attention...and it works. Give him a response such as a time out away from what is going on in the house.

    Stay near him, but pretend you are not looking. If he gets up, place him back but do not communicate at this point. At his age sitting for about a minute is appropriate. I would then make him try to say "sorry" for any biting or attempt made after his time is up.

    You time out spot needs to be a seperate space (chair, rug, high chair (strapped in) etc. ) that is only used for this purpose so it's only association is time out for inappropriate behaviors.

    Having a daycare I could not try soaps or any of the things some do. I also know that when his communication skills improve his frustration level will subside...MOST LIKELY.

    Good Luck and remember put a word to EVERYTHING he wants. He will learn lots of new words in a short time (USE EXTREME CAUTION WITH LAUNGUAGE IN THE HOME). They will pick up the bad words quick.

    jenni
  9. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    As a mother of three bitters I learned the only way to stop them was to bite them back. I mean my kids would bite me and each other so hard they left marks and sometimes drew blood. It took a couple of times but all three of them soon learned that it was not so much fun when they were the one being bitten. I don't advise biting your child till he has marks or bleeds but a child of one learns things from experence and testing their limits. He will learn real quickly if you bite him back versus tapping his hands. It's not his hands that are doing wrong. It's his mouth so he simply doesn't understand why his hand is getting tapped and he is being told no no. to his mind at that age he didn't do anything wrong with his hands. I hope this make sense it's one of my babbling days. lol. Good luck in whatever path you choose. Being a parent is never easy and what works for one doesn't mean it will work for another.
  10. julieisfree05

    julieisfree05 New Member

    My younger sister used to bite me when we were toddlers. The pediatrician told my mom to bite her back(not breaking the skin!) every time my sister bit me.

    Well...

    ..my sister is about as stubborn (and smart) as I am. She figured out the plan and started biting me, making sure mom was looking, then biting HERSELF before mom could get to her!

    She figured that the punishment was worth getting to bite me! LOL!

    It eventually worked, though..

    julie (is free)

    Let them be little
    'cause they're only that way
    for a while

    Let them cry
    Let them giggle
    Let them
    sleep in the middle
    But let them
    be little.. - Billy Dean
  11. ckk

    ckk New Member

    Hello, I too had a biter, my 14 yr.old used to bite. Then I bit her back. She is a great kid now with a great head on her shoulders.

    good luck


    ckk
  12. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    do not bite them back...they are not going to get it,theymay bite you back...i tried it, my sister tried...


    telling no we do not bite...take them into the bathroom and hae his/her own special bar of soap and make them bite that...that leaves a bad negative in their mouth...

    cody was getting knawed on and biten at day care by the directors daughter...and that is where is began...she was biting all the other children.,....

    by son was told he could not come back there for a certain period of time...directors child stayed there biting more of the children....eventually the director did get fired because of this...

    but anway...show them the bar of soap and tell them no do not bite that hurts, and then put it in their mouth it may take a couple of times but they will get it far quicker than biting them back...

    they may think it is a game biting back...

    well good luck

    jodie
  13. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Take hold of the childs hand or arm with a FIRM grip while talking in a DEEP voice and say WE DO NOT BITE ,WE DO NOT BITE
    I'M 53 I have 3 kids they are all grown .Have you noticed that children usually lesson to "Dad" before Mom?Thats because of the deeper voice it gets the attention and you will to. The child will not expeck for you to sound like that ,so the child distinguishes something different and not pleaseing about your tone of voice.Do this everytime he bites and he will stop soon.He may even cry because he will feel your displeasure .Comfort him and repete that mommy doesn't like biteing but only in your normal voice.Then change to something else and wait til the next time he bites do the same thing .That work with two of mine but the third I too had to bite back without breaking the skin.They all seem to be well adjusted adults.Even the one I bite.
    Good Luck Mom!Beleave it or not these are the easy days ,wait till he's about 15.
  14. KyLady

    KyLady New Member


    At this age biting is not uncommon. Children bite for many reasons. One they may be teething and in pain and the biting releaves the pain momentarily. Two they are probably frustrated, like someone else said, because of limited communication skills. If you can imagine possibly having a stroke and not being able to get your message across to someone else how angry you would get.

    First get down on his eye level and in a firm voice tell him that you do NOT BITE. Now don't yell or raise your voice just a deep firm voice. Diversify his attention to something else or give him something to put into his mouth to bite on. A frozen teething ring, or clean cloth sometimes helps.

    At age one time out is ineffective. Removing him from the situation and getting his attention diverted is the best thing to do.

    There are various homemade teething comforters you can have on hand at home. You may find something online if you look it up.

    I know it is very upsetting to have this happen but remember it is very normal. If you are consistant with your voice and action it won't take very long for him to get the message.

    Definately biting back isn't the right thing to do. You can get your message across without doing that. The key is consistancy, never ignore this and use the same techinique each time.

    Hope this helps.

    Kylady
  15. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    Hi Tania,

    This is just a phase...I have 2 boys. There will be lots of "phases"! Just keep doing what you are doing and eventually it will stop!

    Dawn
  16. eeyoreblue02

    eeyoreblue02 Member

    I do not condone violence, but when my daughter started biting, I bit her back. She quit immediately. Once she realized how bad it hurt, she no longer did it.

    Linda
  17. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    I didn't bite but while I was nurseing my daughter she bit me and out of reflex I slaped her, I didn't mean to but I did and I felt so horrid about it. But when she did it again at 1 yr old I bit her back. I took her hand and just bit her enough to pinch and make her uncomforable. This has not harmed her in anyway.


    IF the little one is bitting you have to do the same to him or do some thing that makes them understand that putting thing in your mouth and biting them HURTS. I have heard of one mother who when her daughter bit some one she put the clothes pin on the girls lip for just a second , just long enough for her to feel that it hurt. And it did not hurt this child she just understood that what she was doing biting hurt.

    Children bite because they have had pain from teething and it hurts to cut a tooth and sometimes they are just trying to find out what teeth are for and it is up to the parent to find they way to get them to understand that their little teeth hurt. How you go about that is up to you. I bit my daughter back as soon as she bit me and when she would look as me crying because it hurt I would tell her that biting hurts . So it only took 2 x for her to understand what she was doing caused her pain when she bit.

    If you don't want to bite your child back find a way that hurts them after they have bit someone else. But slapping the hands does not work as it was not their hand that they used to cause the pain. ONe mother would take her son who bit hard and would put his hand in his own mouth and would push down on his lower jaws to bite himself back and it was not hard nor did it hurt but he quit doing it.

    I wish aI had the answer your looking for. find some thing that works for you. But like I said little ones don't know that the bite hurts they just have new teeth that they want to use. My dentist found that he had to bite his girls back to stop them from biting eveyone.

    I hope you find your answer. Non of us want to cause pain to our kids but they don't know that what they are doing is causeing someone else pain and I am sorry but the only way to teach them that the action they are doing is painfull . They have to learn this and they need to be taught that it hurts to be bitten. How you choose to do that is up to you but you need to do it right after they have bit someone or the lesson is gone. They don't remeber what they have done.

    Good luck and hugs too. Rosemarie
  18. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    and also had ar biter of my own.Usually they are teething-biting makes it not hurt.I put my daughter in a high chair and gave her a frozen banana or an unopened freeze pop.


    At daycare it's usually one child that they pick on or a special toy that is fought over.You just watch the child and remove him to a different place if you see behaviors approaching a bite.

    I guess that I'm just saying the child isn't angry AT the child he bites but is in a situation where he wants and object.I do not believe in hitting a child for this purpose.Linda
  19. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    Biting hurts . I have taken my youngest daughters hand and had her bite her own finger so that she knew what it felt like. But she was little and willing to do what I asked her to do and stuck her finger in her mouth and bit it. Not very hard but it made her cry and I told her that biting hurts other people too and now she knew what it felt like.

    Then I picked her up and loved her and talked about biting and that it is not nice to do. I also had her bite her dolly and she did and it left teeth marks on it and that upset her because she could feel the marks that her tiny sharp teeth made. So she finally got it . But everything I did with all my girls was done with love. I would always tell them after they had been punished that I LOVED them . but I didn't like what it was they had done.

    My girls always have known that I love them and when they got in trouble they knew that some ting they did was wrong and that there was a reaction for what th ey had done. EVery action has a equal and oppisite reaction.

    I love my girls and now tow have kids and they are teaching them the things that they learned. And after they have had there time out or what ever they get a hug adn some love from Mommy. It seems that it works better if after a child has misbehaved and have had the punishment done that they then are picked up and hugged and told that they are loved.

    Rosemarie