I need some advice

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by romanshopper, Oct 3, 2008.

  1. romanshopper

    romanshopper New Member

    My husband is under trendous stress that he will lose his job. Also his pay this year is down 15k.

    I have not worked in 3-4 years. I did not file for disability because my husband makes fun of people on it and talks so bad about them. I am 41, I worked from when I was 15.

    He's being an ass but he is all I have. I don't have any family or friends - literally, none that I could call that would help me with anything. My only friend just moved. I do not leave the house much. I have not in 3 years or so.

    I need to file for my diability but when i read all the stuff I get overwhelmed and just shut down. I ask my husband to help me but he says I just want him to do everything.

    It does not help that I fell down our driveway last week. My nerves are so bad I scream like a banche if anyone just touches my foot, and I'd been to the doctor twice that week so he said for me to just see if it was not ok. I asked him to call the doctor but he said I was being silly.

    So I have laid on this couch - I was supposed to go to the doctor on MOnday but he would not take me because he said it was not even bruised. In fact, it did not bruise for 4 days later, and now the whole foot and leg are bruised.

    I can't walk hardly at all. He has had to cook this week and he is really pissy. I can tell he is tired of me. I was down like this for 6 weeks after my last surgery - they did not want me up weight bearing.

    I look at these disability forms and I am lost. I cannot even remember to get a frozen pizza out of the oven most days.

    The doctor has said he would support my claim because I have such problems thinking.
    My husband says that is BS because I can tell you when any given politician last passed gas. I like politics and I watch it a lot. He is right. But yet I go to town and can't remember why I went. It is like I have no common sense anymore and I really cannot help it.
    Is there any help for someone like me to fill the forms out?
  2. romanshopper

    romanshopper New Member

    Also we have insurance but my husband does not like doctors and he does not like me going to the doctor. He told me he might as well let me move in with he doctor. I do not go unless i have to in order to be able to keep my prescriptions - once every 3 months, but this time the doctor sent me to another doctor since I have not seen a GP in 3 or 4 years.

    It does not help that he hates his mother with a passion and she has fibro too, so I think when I get down like this, he thinks I am like her.

    He's cooked for us this week, and handed me stuff and helped me. I think my fibula is broken. I feel very stuck - like the doctor should know, but I don't have a phone. If i had a phone, and got an appt, he might take me but gad he'd complain.

    This is the same darn foot I had surgery on. It has such bad nerve damage that at when it happened and it hurt so bad I could not trust it, if that makes sense. As the week went on, it is turning blue.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/03/2008]
  3. celeste1226

    celeste1226 New Member

    first of all you need to go see a doc. call a medical van to see if they can pick you up. in my town they are free. or call a taxi. their must be some type of shuttle in your area that is free for medical apts. call your doctors office see if they can recommened some transportation for you.

    And call Allsup they can file for you from the get go. you dont have to be denied to start the paperwork for you. I did that I went thru them first instead of calling ss. so try that also. look up their website.

    Good luck.

  4. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    When you have that much pain you may have a fracture. My mother fell down and had very bad pain in the ankle. At first we did not take her to the doctor but the pain was so bad I made her go.

    Yes, it was broken and she had to have a cast. You need to go to the emergency room and have a x-ray.

    As respects to your husband, I would contact the dept called Adult Protective Services and ask for help. They have social workers who may be able to assist you with the paperwork to file for disability.

    Don't be discouraged by what you read here, everyone is different. There is a very good site about disability you can read called disabilitysecrets.com.

    I would read as much as possible before filing.

  5. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    you already went thru this once with your foot.

    If this jerk of a husband won't help you will your kids help you get to the hospital or doc?

    You worked you deserve disability. If hubby is under stress you would think any income would be welcome.

    Sorry but this made me see red when I read your post.

    Take care of yourself and tell him where the frozen pizza can go
  6. stinker56

    stinker56 New Member

    First off, I agree fully with 3gs comments about your husband.

    I read your bio and you said he was a doll helping with you. What happened? Just because his income has dropped doesn't give him the authority to treat you so badly. He isn't the only one in the world with money problems!!

    Like someone else asked...why don't you have a phone and where are your kids?? How old are they??

    I don't know anything about the help you can get filing for disability but girl...do whatever you have to so you can get yourself some help. If you worked as an RN, you worked really hard plus you are a wife and mother and deserve to be taken care of both physically and mentally.

    How dare your husband belittle you that way talking about you can remember things about politics but nothing else. Be glad you can at least remember that. You watch whatever you enjoy and forget what he likes or don't like.

    Unfortunately, the majority of us here understand being able to remember some things but can't function on the simplest of things. That is just part of this DD.

    I can understand to a point that you husband is under stress about finances but sounds like if his salary is "down 15K" then he apparently makes a decent salary and just needs to suck it up and face the fact that life isn't always sweet. Many-many-many more of us would love to just make 15K to begin with.

    You hang in there and take care of yourself first. Let the rest go you know where. YOU ARE THE IMPORTANT ONE.

    Sending you hugs and prayers your life will improve.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/04/2008]
  7. ChyC

    ChyC New Member

    Tell that to your husband, also that you want a phone in the house for emergencies such as you now have with your foot and leg. He really needs a good shaking and told to get a heart.

    I realize that you need him and you probably love him dearly and these are rough times for you all right now. But he has to realize that an injuries do hppen and they can be lifetreathening sometimes. He needs an wakeup call and you need to tell him that and him that you could die from blood poisoning or an infection with that foot and leg if it's not taken care of.

    Sit him down and make him listen, it may help. Good luck and file for your disability, you need it now.


  8. mysticbrit

    mysticbrit New Member

    How sad that you're in so much pain, both physcially and emotionally.

    I wish I could help you, take you to the doctor, help with your SS forms.

    Regarding your SS paperwork, it really isn't that complicated. I went to the local office and they helped me with the initial papers. Once that was done I was assigned a caseworker who was very patient with me. I was approved immediately, no court dates, no lawyers, no inconveniences.

    It IS possible to be awarded your claim on the first try. I'm concerned that so many people are so intimidated that they never begin the process.

    I worked most of my life, taking some time off when my kids were little. When I became too ill to continue working I didn't feel like I was taking advantage of the 'system'. I knew that I'd contributed when I could and NOW could not.

    Regarding your husband - you can make all the excuses in the world for him but they don't change the fact that he is an abuser and you are his VICTIM.

    Please find a way to get the medical help you need, then begin the process of healing yourself emotionally. Don't try to do everything at once. When your pain is managed your mind will be able to focus again.

    Your husband doesn't sound like someone who would go to counseling so I won't even suggest it. But, you need to find out why you're staying in this horrific relationship.

    Many hugs,
  9. quanked

    quanked Member

    a doll anymore! What your husband is doing could be construed as abuse of a vulnerable adult and out here in the west this kind of behavior was criminalized over a decade ago. He is placing you in harm's way and you may sustain permanent damage because he is denying you access to medical help. It is called neglect no matter what he thinks. This is not okay. He can define you only if you let him. You need to do for yourself what you would do for a beloved child or friend. Get on the phone and get some help. And make a couple of friends. Nothing like a good friend or 2!

    Below you will find names of institutions and businesses that can help you with transportation and info on applying for social security in Rome, Georgia. If you need further assistance post here as I will be checking back on this thread for awhile. Please take care of yourself Roman Shopper.

    US Social Security Administration
    600 E 1st St
    Rome, GA 30161
    (706) 291-5660?
    (800) 772-1213? - Toll Free ssa.gov
    (706) 291-5648?-----------just another # I found in my search

    Social Security Administration
    Write a review
    480 Riverside Pkwy NE
    Rome, GA 30161
    (706) 291-5660? ssa.gov------another address

    Disability Link
    411 Broad Street
    Rome, GA 30161-3007
    Phone: (706) 802-0280
    Business Types: Social Services & Welfare

    706) 378-3243
    Interstate Taxi
    Rome, GA

    Rome Taxi Cab ?
    - www.rometaxi.net
    1200 Martha Berry Blvd NE, Rome - (706) 368-9797

    Redmond Regional Medical Center - Ambulance Service

    (706) 295-2000
    501 Redmond NW Rd,

    Rome Transit Department

    Public Transportation within the city limits of Rome, GA
    Paratransit transporatation - Door-to-door for the eldery and disabled

    City of Rome, Georgia - Transit ?
    Public Transportation within the city limits of Rome, GA; Paratransit transporatation - Door-to-door for the eldery and disabled

    Kathy Shealy , Director
    Phyllis Lee, Assistant Transit Director
    168 North Avenue
    PO Box 1433
    Rome, GA 30162


    Monday - Friday
    5:45am to 6:30pm
    Closings: New Year's Day,
    Memorial Day
    (only if school is not in operation),
    July 4th, Labor Day,
    Christmas Day