I need some help

Discussion in 'General Health & Wellness' started by MissKristaJ, Nov 4, 2008.

  1. MissKristaJ

    MissKristaJ New Member

    Okay my boyfriend and i both have depression issues and we try to help each other with them.He has this problem with jealousy though and he had thoughts of not only loosing me to someone else but of what would happen if i died and such.It depresses him and i try to help him but i don't know what to say or how to help him and i inadvertently get depressed because i can't help him.He has trouble talking about his feelings and he wants to tell me everything but he can't do it.Is there any tips anyone can give me to try to help him or anything i can say?
  2. TwoCatDoctors

    TwoCatDoctors New Member

    Apparently helping each other is not working so I would stop trying that. And jealousy is a hot issue that he and a therapist must deal with.

    It bothers me deeply that your boyfriend has jealousy issues and then has thoughts of losing you to another man AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DIE--THAT MAKES ME WORRY VERY MUCH that he may possibly have some deeper issues of his acting out on the jealousy to make you die if you ever left him. He needs therapy to address the jealousy, and his thoughts of losing you and you dying. If he is not willing to address those issues in therapy and resolve them to the satisfaction of the therapist, then you may want to seriously reconsider your relationship. Jealousy such as his is not about love, but about obsession, possession and control, it does not let the other person flourish and many relationships have ended because the jealousy increases and is suffocating. You only need speak to a women's abuse hotline to find out how jealousy can also spark domestic abuse and murder.

    First each of you should go separately to your primary care doctor for a full physical and blood work to make sure you are okay and hormones are in order. If everything comes out okay, then ask for the name of a good psychiatrist for each of you to see. The psychiatrist will be able to talk with each of you separately, analyze you and diagnose you as to what ailments they believe you have. That's the start of dealing with mental health problems. Know that depression is not only a mental health ailment, but can be a symptom of regular medical problems (which is why you see the doctor first) AND can be symptoms of several other mental health ailments. It is also possible to have one or more mental health ailments at the same time. That is why it is important to get professionals to diagnose and start to help you.

    If you believe you cannot describe what you are going through to the doctors and cannot be totally honest with them, then print out the post you have written here on this board and give it to them as it says it all. To get help you have to reach out to professionals for help (which may not be comfortable for you) and continue going to appointments even if you think they may not be helping you. If you must take medication, it can sometimes take 4 to 6 weeks for some of the meds to really take full effect so continue taking that medication and if it makes you feel funny or strange, don't stop the medication but instead call the doctor and let the doctor know how it makes you feel and let the doctor make the decision as to what should be done, if anything. Taking yourself off medications can be dangerous and some meds shouldn't be stopped abruptly.

    Good luck and hugs.