I need to vent I betrayed a friendone of the few that I have

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Hootie1, Dec 28, 2006.

  1. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    I've taken LWOP from work and have been friends with a girl there. She is arch-enemies with another girl in the office. My boss usually plays one against the other - they both do the same job for different field offices. Anyway, my friend is very disorganized and isn't very good at what she does.

    I am trying to get something straightened out with my leave and my boss told me to go to the other girl to get things done from the beginning. I didn't - I have been working with my friend and told her that he said that and we both were making fun of the fact that he did that.

    Well, today- I Dr. Jekyll - sent a message to the other girl asking her to help me. I also told her that "our boss told me that I should have come to her in the beginning for help, but I just didn't want to bother you with it, but here I am anyway!" Worse, I told her "You seem to know more of what is going on- is there any way that you can help me." I also said, "Bottom line- could you be the person that will coordinate this? I hate to ask you this, but like our boss said, you know the process."

    She in turn sent me a nice message telling me not to worry and that she and my friend will both take care of everything. She also cc'd my boss and my friend.

    I feel just terrible!!!! There is no way that I can explain this one away! How can I be so evil!

    Any advise?

    Well, I tried to send another email to kind of explain it so that no one is hurt. We'll see.





    [This Message was Edited on 12/28/2006]
  2. mollystwin

    mollystwin New Member

    It doesnt sound so terrible that you did this. The wording in your email was polite. I wish she didn't copy your friend though, it would have been much better if she hadnt' done that!

    But you didn't say anything mean about your friend and as you said in the email, you are just following your bosses instructions. That should be your justification for doing this and hopefully your freind will understand!!

    Good luck!
  3. Catseye

    Catseye Member

    Tell your friend you got antsy too soon and selfishly wanted it dealt with and sucked up to the other girl because you knew she would love to be "the chosen one", especially compared to your friend because they're rivals. You didn't tell your friend because you didn't want to take the chance that she get "insulted", (you like her too much to want her to feel bad), and you just are crazy over it and didn't want to rush her. But...you didn't mind rushing the OTHER girl, though, even though you had to "suck up" to make it look good.

    You just want what you want because you're fed up and you're sorry. Then blame a good bit of it on brain fog and frustration because you have a hard time thinking and saying what you mean half the time. And make her some turtle brownies as penance. Tell her to please not take any of it the wrong way, you'll never try to hide your feelings again and just say " I know that was selfish and devious and I'm so sorry, I never used to be like this, please forgive me, I don't want to lose you as a friend, you mean alot to me".

    Then give her the brownies and if she was your friend, she'll forgive you, and if she doesn't, she never was.

    good luck!

    karen
  4. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Hootie,
    Please don't feel so bad. Hiding your friend's disorganzation from her is not being nice to her. You just didn't go about telling her in the way you probabl would have preferred.

    Why don't you go for coffe with her, or something and just explain, that the boss suggsted the other girl, and you are sorry if you said anything to hurt her. You could point out the fact that she really isn't very organized, in a casual, light-hearted sort of way. Loving kindness can temper honesty.

    Terry
  5. Hootie1

    Hootie1 New Member

    I feel alot better guys!! I took your advise.