I need to VENT!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by thenewgirl, Jun 12, 2003.

  1. thenewgirl

    thenewgirl New Member

    ok--I am NOT a new girl--I am an old girl--52 to be exact. but I am the new girl here.

    I have had chronic fatigue and FM for many years--I think my "onset" was 1987--- I was determined disabled in about 1991.

    In the beginning I went to a great (and locally famous) physician (no not bennett). He has since moved somewhere else and since there was "no cure" anyway I decided sometime ago to call a personal "moratorium" on ALLLLL physicians!!

    I KNOW I DON'T have to tell YOU people about how condescending, unbelieving, rude---fill in the blank-----physicians can be!!! I made up my mind to ONLY go to my "family" physician (who is usually a pretty nice guy actually) for pap smears, stepping on nails and so forth--this personal "rule" has served me well for about 8 or 9 years!!!

    I've had absolutely no "treatment"--hell!! it all seemed a complete waste of time and energy....I was in that maze of lab tests and doctors and "cfids" manuals for years and years and years ..!!! one career and one marriage later I honestly felt better when I burned it all and NEVER attended another meeting and took my solemn moratorium oath!!!!

    OK-OK-OK!!! so TODAY I broke my OWN rule because (god this is a long story!!!) I had some lab work done because I was GOING to be part of a research study--(the study was not cfs or FM related) I dropped out of the study before it barely got underway but I got some results from my lab work and an ekg---
    damned if I didn't find out I have av heart block (first degree) and something called MCV was slightly elevated. I (being the old ex medical detective that I am) looked up elevated MCV and I saw that it means one of three things: anemia, b12 deficiency or alcholism. since I am probably not anemic and definately not a drunk I thought AH HA!!! PERHAPS my doctor could/would/should/might run a test on my b12 levels.....................GUESS where my story is going!!!!!!!

    He looked at the fact my MCV is only slightly elevated so he ----------doesn't -------think------- the------ test-------- is ---------necessary--------------------------------------AND!!!!!! he got that FAMILIAR GLAZED OVER look in his eyes (I am SURE you know the one!!!)

    This is THE ONLY real request I have ever made of this guy AND I almost started CRYING remembering how I used to feel this way (BLOWN OFF) every-single-solitary time I EVER EVER went to the doctor !!!!!!!!! he even said that the frickin av heart block "is nothing" geez!!!! I can tell you it has been many years since I have shed a tear over my "situation" but I was painfully close to it today!!!!!!!! it served as a BIG REMINDER to not go to THAT doctor unless I have a hemmorage or something---and even then it had better be a couple litres !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! there! I vented and you listened. I thank you!
    [This Message was Edited on 06/12/2003]
  2. marykello4

    marykello4 New Member

    Hi...You have come to the right place to vent . I am fairly new to the boards but have been reading them and find these people to be among the most loving and caring people ever. I'm sure someone will talk to you soon, lolMary
  3. thenewgirl

    thenewgirl New Member

    thanks very much--and thanks for reminding me (in so many words) to take responsibility for myself!!* I appreciate your suggestion and I will do it! I certainly don't need a lab test to take some b12 do i??!!!
    *I think MUCH of my problems can be traced to "wanting to be "fixed" or "cured" BY a god-like doctor!

    one question though------I heard post menopausal women (thats me) should not take iron.......???[This Message was Edited on 06/12/2003]
  4. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    I have a medical background and have said sometimes almost ashamed to admit with the way I and so many I know have been treated,dismissed,demised,felt like children.

    I have said animals get treated better!!!!

    Vent all you want alot of us are with you atleast half the posts are about disappointing,loss of our energy,time and money to get no where. From insuance co.,to drug co.,on down. To abuse ill people is the worst sin I feel one can commit. I do not know how they sleep, geezzz we should call them in the middle of the night when we are up in pain. I mentioned that to my doc, guess what he gave me some pain meds then.. They hate those 2am calls I remember when used to call from hosp.