I need your help and prayers

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by BethM, Nov 27, 2002.

  1. BethM

    BethM New Member

    My dad has just found out that the prostate cancer he was diagnosed with and treated for 10 years ago has returned, in his ribs and in his spine. He also has a torn rotator cuff in his shoulder, which is more painful than the cancer spots. The connection to this board is that my mom and I, and my eldest sister all have FMS. I am very worried how this intense stress will affect my mom. She also deals with arthritis and other problems, although really, she is in pretty good health. I want her to stay that way.

    It's very hard to see my dad in pain, and so muddle headed from the pain meds. Honestly, I'm not ready to lose my dad, or to see him suffer. (Although I'd rather lose him than have him suffer, if that makes sense.)

    Anyway, if any of you could include them in your prayers, their names are Shirley and Harold, and they live in Mission Viejo, California. Thank you in advance, for anyone who can help.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  2. BethM

    BethM New Member

    My dad has just found out that the prostate cancer he was diagnosed with and treated for 10 years ago has returned, in his ribs and in his spine. He also has a torn rotator cuff in his shoulder, which is more painful than the cancer spots. The connection to this board is that my mom and I, and my eldest sister all have FMS. I am very worried how this intense stress will affect my mom. She also deals with arthritis and other problems, although really, she is in pretty good health. I want her to stay that way.

    It's very hard to see my dad in pain, and so muddle headed from the pain meds. Honestly, I'm not ready to lose my dad, or to see him suffer. (Although I'd rather lose him than have him suffer, if that makes sense.)

    Anyway, if any of you could include them in your prayers, their names are Shirley and Harold, and they live in Mission Viejo, California. Thank you in advance, for anyone who can help.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  3. joyof3

    joyof3 New Member

    Dad's are one of the most importent men in our lives, and yes i will pray for all of you. I'm having a hard time finding the words to say my heart goes out to you, and your family.
    i would like to tell you about my dad,he is like no other,and no other will be like him. In the summer of 2001 we all knew something was wrong, but not what. I was scared i have always had my dad, and in my mind i would not believe, could not believe. By the winter my dad, stepmom, and i were in calgary at the hospital, the last test done. We had our anwser it was terminal, he has a mucsle disease called ALS. I will never be ready to let my dad go,and i'm very scared. Please know i understand this pain, your pain ,and my pain my be different but it is still pain just the same. Beth my heart, and prayers go out to you and your family.

    sending nothing but the best your way.
    your family are in my prayers,
    stephanie {{{{big hugs}}}}


  4. queenbee69

    queenbee69 New Member

    Dear Beth, Im so sorry to hear about your Dad, and your concerns for your mom. I lost my Dad some years ago and it's still such a great loss. To make it woorse, I wasn't able to be with him, he lived out of state. Being there for him is the best thing you can do, for him and yourself. My heart goes out to you and your family in this hour of need. Try and stay strong and hang in there. My best to you all....queenbee
  5. phenom

    phenom New Member

    i will keep you all in my prayers.... try to keep positive, although i'm sure that is easier said than done.

    phenom
  6. BethM

    BethM New Member

    Thank you for your kind responses. I appreciate your support and prayers.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  7. BethM

    BethM New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis. ALS is a tough disease to deal with. Hugs and prayers to you, as well.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  8. achy

    achy New Member

    This groups prayers have helped me more than once....may they do the same for you and your family.
    I've been where you are, it's not easy.
    Remember to also take care of yourself.
    God Bless,
    Warm fuzzies
    Achy
  9. missvickielynn

    missvickielynn New Member

    Dear Beth,

    Finding the right words to comfort someone who is going through the kind of experience you and your family are now......is so difficult, even for those of us who have lost a parent, or someone close.

    I lost my Mother on April 28, 2000. She died of lung cancer. We had lived together for many years, and I knew she was ill......but didn't realize she was dying of cancer until March 15th......just over a month before she died.

    I totally understand about your Dad saying that the pain from his torn rotator cuff injury being more painful than the cancer. My Mother also had FMS, and had been living with continuous pain with it for over 10 years, and never took a prescription pain med until March 15th, when she was told she had cancer. She told me, after having taken the first couple of doses of her Percoset, that the idea of dying of cancer didn't scare her as much as the thought of living for who knows how many more years with the unrelenting FMS pain. She said if she had realized how much relief she could have had with pain meds, and had she believed that they would not make her a zombie, she would have asked for something long before. Of course, within about 10 days of her getting the Percoset, they had switched her to Dilaudid.

    I totally identify with your feelings of not being ready to lose your Dad, but not wanting him to suffer, either. I remember very well what that is like. I know you are in terrible pain like you have never felt before. Even after this long, I still cry for my Mom several times a week, think of her many times a day, and dream about her almost every single night.

    This kind of stress obviously is severe enough to cause even the most healthy people to get sick.........so it is understandable that you are concerned about the effect all this will have on your Mom's (and your sister's, and YOUR)
    health. Do you all live close to each other? I hope that you do, so that you can be a help to each other. In order to be there for your Dad, you must be able to take care of yourselves.

    I know this is one of the most difficult times you will ever experience, and I just want you to know you, your father, and your Mom and Sister will be in my prayers. If you have time, and feel able to share, please tell me their first names.

    May God be with you, and give some measure of peace and comfort to you and your family now. This is too big a burden to handle alone. Allow God, and other people, to be of help to you!

    With love,

    Vickie
    [This Message was Edited on 11/28/2002]
  10. tandy

    tandy New Member

    Your family - your Dad will be in my thoughts and prayers.I know first hand how tough it is to see a very close loved one get ill.Its never easy.I feel really terrible for you.My own fathers illness/death was thee most traumatic thing I've gone thru.(he was 57)too damn young to die.
    Hang in there sweetie~
    Love,
    Tracey
  11. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I'm sorry to hear about your dad and I know the upcoming months will be difficult for your entire family. Whenever I get a pile of unwanted and unplanned for stress dropped in my lap I call my therapist. She helps me think of ways I can delegate things and do only the most important things and let the rest go.

    I hope you, your mom and sister are able to do that!

    Hugs,
    Barbara
  12. BethM

    BethM New Member

    Thank you, your thoughts are appreciated.

    Vickie, my parents are Harold and Shirley, my sisters are Debbie and Sheila. Somehow, Sheila escaped the FMS trap, lucky her. I live the farthest, about 75 miles from my parents. It'll be a stretch, but the drive isn't too bad as long as there isn't any holiday traffic! We are a close knit family, and see each other fairly often.

    Tandy and Achy, thank you for the support.

    Barbara, I have thought about going back to my therapist to work through the grief and all. I have never handled death well, and this one will be the most difficult yet. Soon as the funds are available, I'll call her. Thank you for the suggestion.

    hugs,
    Beth.


    [This Message was Edited on 11/28/2002]
  13. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    Hi, Dear...I believe in prayer and have just sent a prayer up for all of you!! Continue to trust in the Lord for your wellbeing and that of your precious family. I will pray that His will be done and that He will bless you all with peace and understanding and a healthy body!!!
    With love,
    Kady
  14. marcia41

    marcia41 Guest

    I don't know you,but do understand the pain,worry and fear you are going through right now.About the best thing I can come up with is to try and spend as much time together as a family as you're able.Spend that time in any way that makes all of you comfortable as possible.Tell stories(happy)of things you did together or funny events that included one or several of you.Say the words(if any)you always wanted to but for what ever reason,didn't.Accept any offers of help that's offered.The less stress you can have(and your family too)the easier it is to handle the bad things in life.Pray together often if you feel comfortable doing it.I and many here on the board will be sending our prayers and wishes out to you everyday,so please know you are not alone.You can come here anytime too for a request,to vent or just talk.Someone will be here for you.My heart and prayers are going out to you as I type!
    Your friend on the board,
    Marcia
  15. namow

    namow New Member

    Please don't lose faith. My prayers are with you and your family. Miracles happened all the time.

    A warm hug

    Namow
  16. BethM

    BethM New Member

    Thank you all. It is good not to feel alone. I'm sure your prayers will help, and I'll let my mom know about all the replies.

    Peace,
    Beth.
  17. northwoodssue

    northwoodssue New Member

    Beth:
    My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you over your parents. I am an ex-hospice nurse and hope that your father takes advantage of hospice services. They can help in so many ways, and can help with your mother too. They also follow up with the family for a year after death. I know this is a very difficult time, but hospice can help. They can set up a pain management care system personalized just for his pain, help him with personal care (even if his wife is able to), assist with house cleaning, there are too many services to name.
    Again, my prayers and sympathies are with them and you!
    northwoods sue
  18. cls

    cls New Member

    I just read your post about your concerns for your parents. It is so hard to see those that you love suffer. The love and concern that you and your sibs show to your mother will help her get through this. Use this time to visit your father as much as possible and say what you need to say to hime about special moments in your memories of him. I will remember them in prayers.
    Connie
  19. Kim

    Kim New Member

    I will pray for Shirley and Harold now. I'm so sorry for your pain. I lost my mom to cancer and I understand how you feel. God bless you. kim
  20. pam_d

    pam_d New Member

    I am so very sorry about your Dad, and what your whole family is going through. I will certainly be praying for all of you to get through this very tough time, and please let us know how you are all doing. If nothing else, you have us here for support, people here care & are always ready to lend an ear. Take care, Beth, and I am keeping your family in my thoughts.

    Hugs,
    Pam